DEAR ABBY: I am a 28-year-old woman who has decided, after 11 years and 50-plus partners, to become celibate. A couple of friends have attempted to get me to break my vow. These men know how they make me feel, and I am finding it difficult to stay away from them. Although I have stopped spending time with them, I still feel the urge to be with them.

So, do you have any advice on how to stay strong? It's been one month, and I plan on staying this way until I get married. -- TRYING TO STAY CELIBATE

DEAR TRYING: Old habits are hard to break, but as you already know, it can be done. An effective way to do that is to replace the habit you're trying to change with some other activity. Right now, it's important for you stay busy.

Consider increasing the amount of exercise you do each day, doing projects around your home, filling your time by volunteering, etc. If you do, you'll have less time to dwell on what you're "missing." This is not to say that your sex drive will go away, but it will help you to better control it.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend's son, "Matt," just turned 21, but he looks 16. He has just announced that he's moving in with a 50-year-old woman -- the mother of a friend of his.

I feel very uncomfortable about the idea of welcoming her into my home and making conversation as if they are a normal couple. His father and I are the woman's age. I don't believe Matt has told his mom or his siblings yet. He's quickly losing friends over this awkward situation.

I'm usually of the mindset to "live and let live," but here I am tested. It feels creepy. What is the proper way to handle this? -- UNEASY IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR UNEASY: Handle this by withholding judgment and waiting to see how the romance plays out. Matt may look 16, but at 21 he's an adult and capable of making his own decisions about his love life without "help" from his father's girlfriend. Matt's lady friend may be a very young 50 and Matt may be a mature 21. Having met neither of them, I can't judge. And neither should you, so stay out of the line of fire, or the romance that suffers may be your own.

DEAR ABBY: Last week a girl I knew in high school 10 years ago had a surprise baby. She went to the ER with stomach cramps and found out she was in labor. Mom and baby are doing fine, but now they are throwing an "emergency baby shower."

I rarely speak to this girl. Why should I be expected to get a baby shower gift for her? -- MYSTIFIED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MYSTIFIED: The baby shower is being given because your old high school chum needs things for the child she wasn't expecting but who arrived anyway. Should you be "expected" to provide a gift? No. But if you did, it would be both generous and kind of you, and I can guarantee that it would be sincerely appreciated.

DEAR ABBY: Last year my boyfriend and I moved across the country to Arizona so he could be closer to his friends and family. My entire family lives on the East Coast.

Recently it seems like our plan to marry and start a family keeps getting pushed further and further into the future. I'm 35; he's 47. Neither of us has been married or has kids.

I'm beginning to regret having uprooted my life for someone who is unilaterally changing the timing of what I thought we both wanted. How long should I wait before cutting my losses and moving closer to the people I care for and who miss me? -- ALONE IN THE DESERT

DEAR ALONE: If you haven't already, it's time to have a conversation with your boyfriend about what your expectations were when you made the move to Arizona. If you want to have children, you will be getting a late start as it is.

Ask him why he wants to postpone your wedding plans beyond what you had agreed upon. He may have cold feet, his friends or relatives may have said they don't care for you -- anything is possible. But you deserve straight answers, and if they aren't satisfactory, I see no reason to devote more time to a relationship that isn't working out.

DEAR ABBY: Seven years ago my sister's 19-year-old son was killed in a car accident. After the wake she gave me a heart necklace with some of his ashes. We no longer speak and haven't for four years.

Well, did I get a shock today. I received an email from her asking for it back! She even had my stepmom repeat that message to me. I don't believe she has the right to ask for the necklace. Does she? -- BLUE IN TENNESSEE

DEAR BLUE: Because you are no longer speaking, I can understand why your sister might want her son's ashes back. Be a lady; return the necklace to her via registered mail or have your stepmother give it to her. It's regrettable that your relationship with your sister has sunk to this level. Because this was no ordinary gift, understand that if you refuse to return it, your relationship with your sister will be permanently fractured.

DEAR ABBY: So many of your letters involve people having difficulty communicating with others. Here's a safe, honest, straightforward technique for targeting the behavior, sharing feelings and explaining the reasons for those feelings. It is called an "I-Statement" and has three parts: (1) "When you ..." (2) "I feel/felt ..." (3) "Because ..."

I-Statements can be used for the sharing of any and all feelings by kids, teens and adults. Feelings are valid because they are our honest emotions. In addition to giving positive strokes to one another, people can learn to better understand each other and have whole, complete and satisfying resolutions to problems. Try it! -- SCHOOL PSYCHOLOGIST (RETIRED) IN OHIO

DEAR PSYCHOLOGIST: I will! When I received your suggestion about improving communication, I felt grateful that you took the time to share it because it was not only generous of you but also may be helpful to many of my readers. Thank you for sending it.

DEAR ABBY: My husband works as a bouncer at a strip club. I was OK with it at first, but then he started making friends with the dancers and waitresses. They exchange phone numbers, and he talks to some of them late at night when I'm sleeping. I get upset and jealous that these women are getting his time. It causes fights. What should I do? -- WIFE OF A TEXAS BOUNCER

DEAR WIFE: Is your husband placing these calls, or are the women calling him? Tell him you feel they are a threat to your marriage and ask why the calls happen after you have gone to bed.

It's possible the conversations are innocent. The women may relate to him because his job makes them feel "safe" with him. Many co-workers converse after work. Because a woman works in a strip club doesn't mean she's a predator.

However, because the timing of these calls bothers you, ask him if he would have them call before work rather than afterward when you would like him in bed with you.

DEAR ABBY: I host holiday dinners and always invite my husband's side of the family as well as mine. Each time, my brother's wife, "Arlene," asks if my husband's family will be there, and says if they are, they won't attend. They are the only ones who don't show up; all the rest of my family does.

When I asked Arlene if she has a problem with my husband's side of the family, she said no, she just feels we don't pay as much attention to her when there is "so much family."

I have tried having separate dinners, but as the years have passed, it has gotten harder to cook two Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter dinners on separate days. After 30 years of this, I'm tired of having my feelings hurt and trying to please my brother and his wife. How am I supposed to respond when she texts me telling me that if it's just our family they'll attend? -- TIRED OF IT IN IOWA

DEAR TIRED: You are too kind. I wish you had asked this question 30 years ago because, if you had, I could have spared you a lot of grief. The next time your self-centered sister-in-law pulls that stunt, send her a text saying, "Sorry you can't make it. We'll miss you!" Then add a smiling emoji.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter sent out save-the-date cards for her wedding next year. Many of our family members live out of state and abroad.

Save-the-date cards were also sent to my co-workers. When the wedding happens, I will have been gone from that company for three months. Does sending the card obligate us to invite people who will then be my former co-workers? -- UNSURE IN FORT LAUDERDALE

DEAR UNSURE: Yes. If you don't send an invitation or an explanation, your former co-workers may feel they were asked to save the date not because they were considered friends, but that it was a bid for more gifts for your daughter. And they wouldn't be wrong.