DEAR ABBY: I have a neighbor, "Mrs. Smith," whom I see often in another neighbor's yard, "the Joneses," when they are not home. I have seen Mrs. Smith pick vegetables from their garden and take them to her house, and Mr. Smith connect extension cords that run to their home in the winter months when the owners are away. The Smiths are at least in their 60s and well off.

While it's possible the Joneses don't mind sharing their garden and electricity with this couple, it does seem unusual. We have security cameras in our yard to discourage the Smiths from coming onto our property.

Should I tell the Joneses about these people and, if so, what would be the best way to approach the subject? Or should I just mind my own business?

I would consider someone a good neighbor if they told me someone was coming onto my property like this, but I can't assume that others feel the same way -- especially since they seem friendly toward each other and share a property line. What would a good neighbor do? -- NEIGHBORLY IN NORTH DAKOTA

DEAR NEIGHBORLY: A good neighbor does unto others as he/she would like them to do unto him/her. The next time you see the Joneses, casually mention what you have observed, suggest they might want to check their electric bill and let them take it from there -- or not.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 17-year-old girl and my boyfriend is the same age. We have been together for five months and I don't know what to do because he's so jealous. If I log on to Facebook, he gets angry. If I go to the park with my parents, he gets mad.

Two days ago, he said he wanted to see my phone. When I told him to show me his phone, too, he refused. He said only he can check my phone. What should I do? -- DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO IN IOWA

DEAR DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO: What you should do is dump this insecure, controlling boy immediately. What he's doing isn't flattering and it isn't normal. While his possessiveness may have seemed like a compliment in the beginning, for your own emotional -- and possibly physical -- well-being, break things off now. And if he doesn't back off, get your parents involved.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is in his 80s and I'm in my 70s. We have a traditional marriage. Each of us has our own responsibilities around the house.

I wish I could take off the months of November, December, January and February to sit and read and do less. He does blow snow occasionally, but that's it. I still have the house to clean and laundry, ironing and cooking to do. How is this fair? And why do women put up with this? -- GETTING MORE TIRED BY THE WEEK

DEAR GETTING: It isn't fair. And only you can answer why you have put up with it all these years. If you are unhappy with the division of labor in November, December, January and February, then negotiate a new labor contract. Begin with the premise, "each according to his ability ... and your need."

DEAR ABBY: I am 16 and a sophomore in high school. As someone who is exposed to social media, I see that many people emphasize sex as a sign of love. They seem to be saying a happy marriage cannot survive without sex.

My parents do not have sex and are distant with each other. They have issues between them. I'd like to know if a happy relationship can survive abstinence from sex.

I don't want to have sex until I'm married. Long-term relationships are not an exception. But guys expect the girls they date to have sex with them. Can you help me with this? -- ABSTAINING IN ALABAMA

DEAR ABSTAINING: Because someone "expects" you to have sex does not mean that you are obligated to. The decision is a personal one, and if you prefer to abstain until after you are married, that is your privilege.

A girl who has sex with a boy as a way to hang onto him will be in for a disappointment. If the sex is all that's keeping them together, he will soon wander when he becomes bored and look for another conquest.

You ask if a sexless marriage can be successful and use your parents as an example. (Are you absolutely sure this is true? Or have you assumed it because they are not demonstrative around you?) The direct answer to that question is, sometimes. No two couples are alike. Some stop having sex because they have lowered hormone levels, which makes them less interested. Sometimes one partner is unable to perform because of a medical condition. This doesn't necessarily spell the end of the marriage. It all depends upon the individuals and the situation.

On the other hand, other couples enjoy sex until they are in their 90s. As long as a husband and wife are in agreement about it, the union can be a happy and lasting one.

DEAR ABBY: With the holiday season coming, I want to offer a word of advice to parents who are considering having Santa photos taken of their kids at the mall. I managed one of those concessions and saw the best and the worst of parenting. Forcing kids to get your memory photo of them screaming in terror is ridiculous, and I will add, NOT FUNNY. Parents should take the time to ask the children if they want to see Santa.

If necessary, the parent should be in the photo, too. Don't tell the kids to smile and show their teeth. They'll look like the grill on a Ford. Don't wait till the last days, visit Santa when it's really crowded, enter a long line and then complain that the line is long.

And don't assume it's safe or that the company cares. My boss told me I shouldn't have background checks done because it "cost too much." I ordered them anyway, and when the reports were returned, we had to have one of the Santas removed immediately from the floor. -- SANTA HELPER IN FLORIDA

DEAR SANTA HELPER: Thanks for sharing your insight. I'm all for wanting to capture the memory, and during holiday time, temptation can be hard to resist. But forcing a child who finds Santa terrifying to sit on his lap for a picture doesn't seem like great parenting to me. A better idea would be to wait until Christmas morning and take some candid shots of the child opening his or her presents at home. That way the smiles will be genuine and it will ensure a better outcome for everyone involved.

DEAR ABBY: My mother and older sister are trying to spoil my happiness about my upcoming wedding. I have known my ex-stepmother, "Gina," for 20 years and have been best friends with her for the last 15. We remained close even after she divorced my biological father, who is not in the picture.

I had an appointment to go dress shopping and invited my friends, my mom and Gina (who lives out of state). When I told Mom that Gina was coming, her response was she would come "some other time." Abby, Mom has been remarried for more than 30 years and has spent time with Gina prior to this. It's not like they are enemies.

My older sister doesn't get along with Gina. She told me if Gina is part of the bridal party, she won't come to my wedding. I'm having a bachelorette party in the state where Gina lives. The invitations won't be sent for another few months. When my older sister found out, she accused me of not telling her. I explained that I'm not planning the party, my friend will be sending out the invitations and I wasn't keeping anything from her. She hung up on me!

These two ladies are spoiling what should be a happy time for me. Have I done something that, from an outside perspective, you consider wrong? -- DESPERATELY SEEKING ADVICE

DEAR DESPERATELY SEEKING: Your mother's refusal to participate in the selection of your wedding gown was an example of passive aggression. Your mother and sister aren't trying to spoil your happiness about your wedding. They are trying to manipulate and blackmail you into excluding your former stepmother. From this outsider's perspective, you have done nothing wrong -- but they have.

DEAR ABBY: I recently started volunteering at a wonderful organization and was asked to assist the board with a special project. At the initial meeting with two of the board members, everything was going well until the first board member excused himself and the other one immediately began to badmouth the person who had left the room.

I'm new to volunteering here. Neither board member knows me at all. It made me very uncomfortable and I didn't know how to respond. These two individuals have known each other for many years.

I don't want to get involved in this petty business, but I'll have to work closely with both of them in the coming months. Most of my interactions will be with the person who was spoken about poorly. At least three board members have recently quit because of this person. How should I proceed? -- NEW VOLUNTEER IN ILLINOIS

DEAR NEW VOLUNTEER: Proceed by not allowing yourself to get dragged into board politics. If one board member starts badmouthing another, excuse yourself.

If three people have quit, there are obviously problems with the governance of this organization. If you can do your job without getting involved in the dysfunction, stick with it. If you can't, then for your own sanity, find another place to donate your time and talents.