DEAR ABBY: Every December my wife virtually buries our home in Christmas decorations. It's not just the tree and stockings in the living room; she's not happy until there are Christmas towels and Christmas soap in the bathroom and another tree and knicky-knacky stuff downstairs. Not even a doorknob is safe from decoration.

It drives me nuts; I feel so claustrophobic. I bump into these decorations everywhere I turn. I was raised differently, more simply. There was a tree in the living room and stockings hung from the mantel. That was it.

For the last 20 years of our marriage, I have suggested -- unsuccessfully -- that we compromise and alternate every other year. One year her way, the next mine. When I do, she tearfully accuses me of being Scrooge. I admit I'm not big on the commercialized Christmas season, but is my request unreasonable? -- NOT FOND OF CHRISTMAS IN NORTH OGDEN, UTAH

DEAR NOT FOND: No, it's not. You are suggesting meeting each other halfway. Your wife is unwilling to do that even though she knows what she's doing is making you uncomfortable. And that's regrettable because Christmas is supposed to be about what's in the heart, not what's all over the house.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a female college student and I intern at a chemical plant. When I arrive at work, the middle-aged men start "working out" and flexing their muscles. Literally! It makes me uncomfortable. I want to tell them I'm not interested and they're making fools of themselves. Should I say something? They read your column. Help me out, please! -- THERE TO WORK

DEAR THERE TO WORK: Your middle-aged co-workers are acting like a group of teenaged boys. Continue to ignore them; you won't be there forever. However, if it escalates, you should discuss it with Human Resources.

DEAR ABBY: Please settle a disagreement I have with my husband and daughter. How do you determine "up the street" or "down the street"? I contend that it goes by the house numbers. They disagree. Any advice? -- CURIOUS IN NEW YORK

DEAR CURIOUS: According to Merriam Webster's Learner's Dictionary online: "In general, the prepositional phrases 'up the street' and 'down the street' mean the same thing, and in most cases either one is appropriate. ... However, if the street is on a hill, use 'up the street' when talking about something that is further uphill, and 'down the street' when it's further downhill."

My postman said that, in his opinion, "up the street" means in the direction of higher address numbers, and the reverse for lower ones -- so I'll defer to him and to you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband passed away recently and I have some items of his I'm unsure how to tastefully display to honor his memory. They are his Bible, a U.S. flag in a triangular display box (he was a veteran), a set of deer antlers, works he authored, his guitar and family photos. I don't want to build a shrine, but I don't want to stick these things in a closet, either.

He was passionate about his pursuits, and his passion was contagious. I want to pay tribute to him without making others uncomfortable. I have a small house, so a grouping of the items takes up significant space. The way I have them set up now is kind of shrine-like, and it's emotionally wrenching both for me and for visiting family. Suggestions, Abby? -- WIDOW IN HOUSTON

DEAR WIDOW: I am sorry for the loss of your husband. Not knowing how many rooms there are in your home, it's impossible to tell you sight unseen how to display this memorabilia. However, to lessen the emotional impact, it might be better not to group these mementos all in one place. Another option would be to display the items at different times, so not all of them will be viewed at once.

DEAR ABBY: There's a guy I go to a church with. We spent most of the day together with his family. At first, it felt a little weird, and I was the one who broke the silence while we were at dinner. We went to a dance afterward and he was a gentleman. He helped me into the car, etc. He also taught me how to dance and we had a great time. He walked me to my front door at midnight.

When I got to church the following Sunday, I thanked him for coming to the dance with me and told him I had a wonderful time. His family knows I like him a lot. I talked to my mom about it and told her I was going to ask him out. She was fine with it, but when I said something about it to friends, they said it might tarnish our friendship.

Should I ask him out or wait for him to do it? I don't want to look dumb. And what do I say to my friends? -- TEXAS GIRL WHO'S READY

DEAR TEXAS GIRL: When a guy spends most of the day with a girl, it's a good bet that he likes her. Wait a week or two before making your move, because he may ask you out in the meantime. However, if he doesn't, then casually ask him to do something with you, like go to a movie or sporting event or go hiking. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. And as to what to say to your friends about it, I vote for keeping your mouth firmly shut.

DEAR ABBY: I am dreading an upcoming trip that includes a visit to my husband's mother, "Harriet." She is prone to "accidents" when I visit, and I always end up getting hurt. Harriet's "oops" moments usually involve my toes and feet, although the last time I was there she managed to strike my face.

I have taken the precaution of looking up the phone number of the police department in her city, just in case she hits me again. Is there a way to keep her at arm's length so she can't get close enough to punch me? In the 20-plus years I have known Harriet, she has always been a bully. She strikes out at me because I stood up to her. -- APPREHENSIVE IN LOUISIANA

DEAR APPREHENSIVE: Because this has gone on for 20 years, I'm inclined to agree with your suspicion that these "mishaps" haven't been accidental. An effective way to prevent further injury would be to avoid being in the same town with Harriet. The next time your husband decides to visit her, take a detour and let him deal with his mother. She sounds like a handful.

DEAR ABBY: A 30-year-old relative of mine has developed a "germ phobia." She constantly applies hand sanitizer and avoids anyone who exhibits any kind of symptoms. She refused to visit me when I was in the hospital because she thought she might catch something. She was not always like this.

I love her dearly and have no idea what has caused the problem. Is there anything I can do to get her to give up some of the precautions she's taking -- or does she need professional help? -- WORRIED RELATIVE IN TAMPA, FLA.

DEAR WORRIED RELATIVE: Because you don't know what has caused her health concerns, I recommend you ASK her. Hand sanitizers are popular because they claim to kill 99 percent of germs and decrease bacteria on the skin. Every time someone opens the door to a public building or presses an elevator button it's as though that person has shaken hands with everyone who has been there before, so using hand sanitizer seems like good sense to me.

As to your relative not visiting you while you were hospitalized, the reason doctors are reducing the length of hospital stays and are performing so many outpatient procedures is to minimize the germs that patients are exposed to in the hospital.

DEAR ABBY: I just think that as a child, I have too many responsibilities to take care of. My mother thinks I am stubborn and not able to take care of myself. What do you think? -- HELENA, AGE 9

DEAR HELENA: I think you have a good mother. The way to teach children responsibility is to place some on their shoulders. If you learn the lessons of independence your mother is trying to teach you, with time these chores will become easier and less overwhelming. And you will thank her for them later when you're older.