DEAR ABBY: When purchasing concert tickets online for others, when should you expect reimbursement? I say the charge hits your credit card immediately, and so should the payment you've advanced for that person. My husband thinks it should be when the tickets are mailed to you -- which can take two to four weeks -- and you either bring the tickets to your friends or they pick them up. What do you think? -- CAUTIOUS FRIEND IN LOUISIANA

DEAR CAUTIOUS FRIEND: Your mistake was in not discussing payment arrangements before you bought the tickets. Unless immediate repayment was agreed upon at the time they were ordered, I agree with your husband that reimbursement when the tickets are delivered is appropriate.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. We are both 29.

When we have a fight, the first thing he does is text message my parents and tell them everything. I have asked him many times to please not involve them. We are adults and we should be able to handle our problems without interference from my parents. I never have, and never would, complain to his mother about him. His response has always been, "I can involve whoever I want."

He knows I feel disrespected when he does this, and he still won't change. Is there anything else I can do? -- HURT IN SANTA MARIA

DEAR HURT: Yes, you can change boyfriends.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 26-year-old man, currently living in Boston and in my final year of grad school. My parents help me out with finances because I have very little income.

One of the things they have done is keep me on the family phone plan. However, there's a catch: They recently announced that my "cost" for staying on their phone plan is installing an app that allows them to track my location at all times.

In Boston, that's not a huge deal, but when I'm visiting them in Georgia on breaks, it's a point of contention, since I must let them know I'm taking a car. This will alert them to the fact I'll be out, and remove any trace of privacy I might have while I'm there.

When I told them I'll pay my portion of the bill, their response was, "Would you prefer more texts and phone calls?" How can I deal with this situation? -- NEEDS MY PRIVACY

DEAR NEEDS PRIVACY: Your parents are treating you like a child, although you are an adult and should be entitled to some privacy. Look into ways of getting a reasonably priced phone plan, i.e., a prepaid phone. And when you visit them, refrain from using their car if it's an issue. (Perhaps your friends can pick you up and drop you off instead?)

DEAR ABBY: My 16-year-old perfect kid came to us, very adult-like, saying it was time for her to go on the pill. We knew she had a boyfriend, but didn't realize it was this serious.

Despite my initial impulse to kill him and stick my daughter in a convent, we discussed it as a family and agreed she would see a gynecologist. She also had a long talk with her mother about sex, and with me a few days later. When I sat down alone with her she was embarrassed, but I don't care -- I'm her father.

Fast forward to last week: She left her iPad in the living room, and while I was using it, up popped explicit pictures of her not only with her boyfriend, but with other guys and girls. Her mother and I talked about how to handle this. I suggested therapy and pulling her from school. My wife disagreed. She accused me of violating our daughter's personal property and said it's none of my business!

I may be old-fashioned, but my daughter, whom I love more than life, needs to know this is not OK. She's still a child despite looking like an adult, and as a child, she needs guidance. Am I wrong? Do you have any resources for me on handling my daughter's sexual impulses? -- CONCERNED DAD IN SANTA CLARA

DEAR CONCERNED DAD: To pull your daughter out of school or send her to a psychotherapist would be an overreaction. Her sexual impulses are normal. Although I agree she needs guidance, that guidance should come from you and your wife.

As to your "violating your daughter's personal property," I'm glad you saw what was on the tablet and your wife should be as well. The kind of photos you describe can cause big problems for teenaged girls. If her relationship with her boyfriend sours, those pictures can wind up on the Internet to be viewed for all time.

Colleges and prospective employers have been known to scour the Internet looking for these kinds of postings when interviewing students and job seekers. What may seem like innocent fun now could cause her big headaches a few years down the line, and your daughter needs to know it.

DEAR ABBY: I work the front desk at a small hotel in the middle of nowhere. I love my job. My boss and co-workers are amazing, and we are like a big family.

Recently, while I was working the graveyard shift, I was held up at gunpoint and robbed. Going to work still scares me, and I'm anxious the entire time.

Should I seek counseling and stay with this job to see if my anxiety lessens, or find another one where I won't have to deal with cash? I'm terrified of this happening again, since the thief got away with it. -- JUST DON'T SHOOT

DEAR JUST DON'T SHOOT: You should definitely seek counseling because of the trauma you experienced. Some states offer it as part of a victims assistance program, but if yours does not, then you will have to get it privately through your health insurance or your employer's. After you have had some sessions, you will then be in a better position to decide whether to continue working at that hotel.

DEAR ABBY: At least "Renee in Oregon" (Sept. 10), who asked her adult daughters for their friends' phone numbers, cares enough to want someone to call if her adult children don't respond. I didn't regard her request as nosy or overbearing, simply so she'd have a "just in case" number. Renee's daughters sound like ungrateful brats who don't care anything about worrying their parents.

I'm thankful my four adult children will text me in response to my call to let me know they are OK. I have never had a problem getting a contact number from them for a neighbor or friend. Two of them offered the information without my asking.

I have only had to call a contact once. Thank goodness it was only a matter of a stolen phone, not a sick or injured child. I'm blessed my kids understand that it's not to get in their business, but a logical safety issue. -- LUCKY DAD IN KENTUCKY

DEAR LUCKY DAD: I'm glad for you. The response from readers about Renee's letter was varied, and it was informative to read their perspectives:

DEAR ABBY: Thanks for your answer to Renee. It validated my whole life as a daughter of a domineering mother.

She is 92. I'm 62 and live 40 miles from her. I have a full-time job, take care of a small farm and still, after my weekly visit, have to call her to let her know I got home OK.

She also asks for my friends' phone numbers. I give her inaccurate ones so she can't pester them. My office knows to not put her calls through. I have asked her to call my cell, leave a message and I'll call her back when I am on break.

When I was younger, if she couldn't reach me by phone, she would call the police and the ERs, send my poor father to my house to look for me, or call my veterinarian to have him make a farm call -- just to be sure I hadn't been ax-murdered.

The negative effect this has had on our relationship is profound. I have tried repeatedly to explain it to her, but she has never "gotten it," so I have created barriers in order to maintain boundaries. She has a number she can call for her in-home care providers, so if her need is real, she can get help -- and there's always 911. I refuse to exist just for her to engulf. -- PURPOSELY CHILDLESS IN MISSOURI

DEAR ABBY: Sometimes parents do need a contact person for emergencies. At what point should a person have to contact the police?

Years ago, parents here in Northern California didn't hear from their adult son for a week or two. They thought he was with his live-in girlfriend. She thought he had gone to see them. Sadly, his body was found stuffed in an irrigation pipe weeks later. He had been robbed and murdered.

Hopefully, Renee's three daughters are close enough to have regular contact with each other and can call their parents on a regular timetable to check in and assure them all is well. -- CALIFORNIA MOM

DEAR ABBY: Telling Renee she was the reason her daughters moved so far away and don't answer her calls was unnecessarily hurtful. You have no idea why her daughters are so distant.

A better option would have been to suggest she approach her kids because she is concerned as their mother and they live so far from her. Rather than a list of their friends, she should ask each of them if there's someone close to them she might use as an emergency contact. -- ANGIE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR ABBY: I have two daughters. If I asked them for this information, they wouldn't hesitate to hand it over. I think that's because my approach with my girls has always been, the more I stay out of their lives, the more they tell me. I empathize with Renee and sincerely hope she learns to back off. -- NO PROBLEMS HERE