DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married 20 years and have three children, ages 10 to 17. Our oldest is a senior in high school. Her best friend, "Maya," is a friend of the family we have known for 10 years. Maya's parents have been divorced for as long as we've known her. She lives with her single mom. Her dad moved out of state.

Maya spends a lot of time with us on weekends, and we have all embraced her as another family member. Recently, Maya pulled me aside and asked if I could be a father figure in her life. I was honored and immediately agreed. Now when she comes over she calls me "Dad" and even says "I love you." I say it back.

Last week, my wife mentioned that our younger two children have noticed the bond between me and Maya and are upset about it. How can I be there for Maya through these tough teen years without alienating my own younger kids? -- FAMILY GUY IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR FAMILY GUY: Consider having a talk with your younger children and explaining to them that the more love there is in this world, the better our world will be. Explain that Maya has no father in her life, and that any affection you express for her does not lessen the love you feel for them, and they will always be "No. 1" in your heart.

This does not, however, mean that you cannot have love for Maya, too, and say it when you think she needs to hear it. If you haven't already been doing it, make special time for your younger children that does not include Maya. If you do, perhaps it will help them to feel less threatened.

DEAR ABBY: Allow me to offer a word of encouragement to young boys who are short in stature: All your life, you will hear thoughtless remarks about your height. "He's short. That's so sad. It will hold him back in life. He'll have trouble with girls," and so on. Don't listen to a word of it!

I am now a senior citizen. Not once has being short held me back from anything I wanted in life -- relationships, money, career, friends and respect. Other people may have stereotypes, but do not let them control your goals and dreams. You can have whatever you want in life, so go for it! -- MIKE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR MIKE: There is no height requirement for success. As I write this I am thinking of Prince, Elton John, Michael J. Fox, Kevin Hart, Danny DeVito and every jockey who races for the Triple Crown. (My lawyer is also short in stature, but I measure him only from the eyebrows up.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm 18 and have never had a boyfriend. I really, really like a boy from church, but I don't know how to approach him. He has a job and is in his second year of college.

We're good friends, but he's so busy with work and school that I never see him, not even on Sundays. It's upsetting. I'd really like to be more than friends. What should I do? -- CRUSHING IN INDIANA

DEAR CRUSHING: Because of the schedule he is on, I don't think you have much choice other than to wait until his classes end and he's on holiday or summer break. In the meantime, do not put your life on hold. Stay busy with friends and other activities, and who knows? You may meet somebody else who's also interesting.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is in fifth grade at a very small, rural school. She's outgoing and makes friends easily. My problem is, when she comes home from school, she tells my husband and me about the conversations the other fifth-grade girls are having. Most of them involve boys. However, recently the conversations are about sex and things these girls say they want boys to do to them, which include rape.

My husband and I are appalled. My daughter knows that it's not appropriate to discuss these topics, but she is forced by these girls to listen. What should we do? Should we discuss this with the other parents involved? Please help. -- CONCERNED PARENT IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR CONCERNED: While discussing sexual matters may not seem appropriate to you, that's what some children in grammar school do. The problem, however, is that a lot of misinformation can be transmitted among them. Be glad your daughter trusts you enough that she's willing to tell you what is being said.

If this were my daughter and I had not yet had "the talk" with her, I would waste no time in initiating it. Her classmates may say some of the things they do for shock value and have no concept about the violence and physical and emotional damage that a rapist can inflict.

Not only should you bring this to the attention of the parents of these classmates, also talk to the school principal. (Could these girls have been exposed to rape, pornographic movies, etc.?) The best way to combat screwed-up thinking like this is through frank, open discussion and education.

DEAR ABBY: I have 18-year-old twin sons who are seniors in high school and more mature than most at their age. My husband and I raised them with responsibility and manners, and people comment on how well they behave.

My problem is neither one seems interested in socializing. They don't date and never have friends over. They tell me people their age are "morons."

The boys are very close. They still share a room, and want to attend college together and major in the same field. I'm worried that they are too close and need to separate from each other and get out more. I worry that they aren't experiencing the life of typical teenagers. Should I be worried about this or wait and see what college brings them? -- MOTHER OF TWINS

DEAR MOTHER: Your boys may be responsible and mannerly, but they appear to be socially immature. The time to have separated them and encouraged them to develop their individual personalities was when they entered their teens.

While it is normal for twins to share a special closeness, the fact that they don't socialize, don't date and consider their contemporaries all to be morons IS something to be worried about. If you are going to contribute to their college educations, it might be helpful to insist they go to different schools. But before you do, consult a licensed counselor for guidance because it may be traumatic for them.

DEAR ABBY: I am a community college sophomore (age 20) in an international honor society, double-majoring in biotechnology and biological sciences. My dream is to become a cardiologist.

I have worked hard and excelled at my studies, as well as in my friendships and sports. However, my brothers have not. My older brother, "Aaron," barely graduated from community college and my younger brother, "Greg," dropped out after his first semester.

I know it's not healthy for me to think this way, but I am afraid I am going to be the one who has to support them. Aaron plays video games all day, while Greg does nothing. I'm afraid I'll be stuck playing "Mommy" for my adult brothers for the rest of my days.

How do I get across to them that they're not children anymore and they need to take their education seriously? -- NOBODY'S MOMMY IN MARYLAND

DEAR NOBODY'S MOMMY: Where are your brothers living now? With your parents? If that's the case -- and I suspect it is -- that message should come from them. That your parents would allow Aaron to sit around all day playing video games rather than become independent means they are his enablers.

There is truth to the saying, "The Lord helps those who help themselves." Warn the boys that unless they start preparing for their future, they could wind up living in the street, because when your parents go, you have no intention of supporting them financially. That responsibility is not and should not be yours.

DEAR ABBY: I just got married to a beautiful woman. She's tall and elegant. The problem is, she's addicted to taking pictures of herself. She takes at least 100 of them a day.

When we're driving, she's busy taking selfies. When we go out, she asks me to take pictures of her. If I tell her I don't want to take more pictures, she pleads with me to take "just one more," which really means five.

When we are out to dinner and I get up to go to the restroom, she asks total strangers to take her picture. When we were on vacation and we went to the pool, she wore full makeup for two reasons, she said: (1) She's not putting her head under water, and (2) she wants some pictures taken of her.

I have told her many times how much this annoys me, but she says I am preventing her from what she enjoys. What can I do to help her? -- TOO MANY PHOTO OPS

DEAR TOO MANY PHOTO OPS: You have married a beautiful (tall, elegant) piece of arm candy. Because you did not mention even one other positive quality about her, I assume this is what you wanted. Her vanity/insecurity about her looks is the "accessory" that goes with your trophy.

It will take effort on your part to help her recognize that what she has to offer beneath the surface is at least as important as her looks. (It may also take the services of a psychologist, if she's willing.)