DEAR ABBY: We have a child who was adopted through a closed adoption. We met the birth parents briefly at the hospital, but they wanted no further contact. Both birth parents had issues with drug abuse, and our daughter was born with drug issues, too.

A few years later we were contacted via the adoption agency by the paternal birth grandparents. They requested some photos because the birth father was getting out of jail and they thought the photos would help keep him out of trouble. We sent a nice collection of photos and an update on our child.

The next year, the birth grandparents sent a letter saying they would like more contact, including visits. They provided us with their names and contact info. The birth father, who now is back in jail, never contacted us and, as far as we know, does not want any contact. The adoption agency says they will pass on information between us, but doesn't have any advice on what we should do.

Our daughter is 6 and has expressed interest in her birth family. My husband wants no contact with the birth grandparents since neither of the birth parents consented to contact and it was a closed adoption. He is also concerned that our other adopted children may be hurt and jealous since they can't have contact with their birth parents for various reasons.

I am worried our daughter will be upset when she grows up that we never established a relationship with her birth family, but I really don't want to be involved with a family with such complex drug and legal issues. We have a large extended family, and our daughter sees her grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins all the time. Should we start a relationship with her birth grandparents? -- UNCERTAIN DOWN SOUTH

DEAR UNCERTAIN: I agree with your husband, for all of the reasons you mentioned. Your daughter's birth parents made their wishes clear from the outset. You wouldn't be in this bind if you had respected them.

Because your daughter's birth parents are addicts, it is very important for her to understand that she may have a genetic tendency toward addiction herself. If she would like to locate her birth family when she is an adult, tell her you will help her then. But prepare her in advance so she will know what she's in for.

DEAR ABBY: I've never seen this question in your column. A female co-worker of mine wears a wig, and it's getting pretty scruffy. No one acknowledges her hairpiece, yet we all know she wears one.

If it were me, I would want someone to tell me it's time for a shampoo (or replacement?). When it was new, it was lovely. She's a wonderful person, and we don't want to embarrass her. Should we say something, or is it none of our business? Your thoughts? -- WORKING WOMAN

DEAR WORKING WOMAN: There is no way to diplomatically tell a person wearing a hairpiece that she (or he) is fooling no one or that it's looking ratty. If you do, it will cause embarrassment, or worse, hurt feelings. So resist the urge unless the woman asks for your opinion.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with my high school sweetheart for six years. He is only the second person I have been intimate with. I love him and am pretty sure that we will end up marrying. Neither of us has ever cheated.

The problem is that I'm having doubts about my lack of experience with other men. I'm not saying I want to sleep around with random men, but I would like to experience intimacy with someone else so I won't wonder "what if" when I am older and married. Am I wrong for this? -- CONFUSED IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CONFUSED: I don't think you are "wrong," but your question does make me wonder whether you are ready to settle down. If your sex life were as fulfilling as you would like it to be, you wouldn't be asking if you are wrong for wanting more. Level with your boyfriend about your feelings to see if you can work this out. However, if the answer is no, then both of you may want to move on.

DEAR ABBY: We are friends with a couple who married five months ago. My husband, "Ian," was one of the groomsmen, so we were deeply involved with wedding details a long time prior to the wedding. Ian and the groom, "Claude," are now on the same team at work.

Since the wedding, Claude spends a lot of time talking about his wife to anyone within earshot and on social media to the point of excess. (The bride is "perfect, beautiful, lovely" and he's "so lucky to be married to her," etc.) Everyone on the team works overtime every night because Claude posts love notes to his wife all day. The team supervisor talked to my husband about it, and asked him to cover Claude's workload because of his pre-wedding and now post-wedding bliss.

I have filtered the guy's posts and stopped reading, but Ian feels stuck in the middle at the office. He needs Claude to get his head back in the game and work. How can my husband gently communicate that this is affecting Claude's job performance and driving everyone batty? Ian is afraid that if he complains to the supervisor, his friend will feel betrayed. -- OVERLOADED IN ALABAMA

DEAR OVERLOADED: The matter should be brought to the attention of their supervisor so the supervisor can handle it before it becomes a morale problem. What's going on is unprofessional and unfair to the other team members. The supervisor should tell Ian's besotted friend that the time he's spending messaging his bride has increased the workload on everyone else, the honeymoon is over, and he needs to get his mind back on the tasks at hand.

DEAR ABBY: "Doesn't Want to Lose Him" (Dec. 16) wants breast implants, but her boyfriend is against it. I had breast augmentation at age 27 for the same reasons she wants them. I was flat-chested, and clothing, especially summer clothing, never fit or looked right.

My husband was supportive, and it turned out to be one of the best things I've done for my self-confidence. I not only became more outgoing, but my career also took off.

I want to urge "Doesn't" to talk to her plastic surgeon about her goals. She shouldn't allow herself to be pushed into a larger size than she feels comfortable with, and she shouldn't be unrealistic about how it will change her.

She implied that the surgery wouldn't alter who she is inside, but isn't that her goal -- to have more self-assurance? She'll see a big change in her life. It will be gradual, but she'll become a more confident version of herself.

She should forget the boyfriend if he can't find it in himself to be supportive, because if she does get the implants, I predict that in a year, she will have outgrown him anyway. (Pun intended.) -- KNOWS WELL IN SAVANNAH

DEAR KNOWS WELL: Thank you for your comments. Readers had various reactions to this letter. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I doubt that implants will give her anything more than a superficial boost in confidence, because external attractiveness is fleeting. I'd suggest she look inward for self-esteem rather than try to paste it onto her outsides. Values such as kindness, compassion, development of her talents, expanding her awareness and being of service to others will give her self-esteem to last a lifetime.

I've been small-breasted all my life and admit that sometimes I have wished I had more "up front," but now at 66, I have a healthy, fit body and have learned self-acceptance. -- M.H. IN BERKELEY, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: I was lucky my husband didn't have any objections. I had it done, but never expected the pain to be so bad. I felt better about the way clothes looked on me, but that feeling didn't last.

I recently had them removed because I suspected they were leaking (saline). They were uncomfortable. I could sleep only on my back. Running was not fun. They didn't feel natural and they didn't look great naked. I realized having them was a big mistake.

Afterward, I found out they hadn't leaked; they had just "shifted." I feel better now and no one noticed anything. I've heard others love their implants, but I just wanted to let "Doesn't" know there are some women who regret having it done. -- LEE IN HILO, HAWAII

DEAR ABBY: I wanted breast implants about 10 years ago because my proportions were off and clothes didn't fit well. My then-boyfriend tried to talk me out of it, but I didn't listen.

Abby, I have never once regretted getting implants. I'm happy, healthy and more confident. Looking back, I believe my boyfriend tried to talk me out of it because he was afraid of other men noticing me. He'd say things to make me feel self-conscious about my appearance. I suspect he knew I'd eventually wise up and the surgery would expedite it. Today, I'm married to a wonderful man who doesn't mind my assets at all. -- HAPPY IN BRANDON, FLA.

DEAR ABBY: There's a strange irony here. The greatest challenge to the woman's self-esteem is her boyfriend -- not because he is against the implants, but because of the belittling way he talks to her. In keeping with her low self-image, she has chosen a mate who feels threatened by her desire to be more confident.

A nurturing boyfriend would lift her up more than any breast enhancement could. If she had a more supportive boyfriend, she would probably decide she didn't need the surgery. What a paradox! -- JON IN BALTIMORE