DEAR ABBY: My mom lives with me and my hubby. Recently I found out that she walks around at night because she hears noises or is restless -- and puts her ear on our bedroom door, too!

I was shocked. I think this is a complete invasion of my privacy, and I was embarrassed to no end. I now avoid getting intimate with my hubby, and he has no idea why.

I have to be sensitive about what I say to Mom because she underwent surgery recently and she has a lot of medical issues. How should I handle this? -- NO NOISE FOR MS. NOSY

DEAR NO NOISE: The first thing you should do is tell your husband why you have been avoiding intimacy. If you don't, he may think it has something to do with him or the way you feel about him, and that's neither true nor fair.

Your mother's wandering around at night may be nosiness, or it could be insomnia or other medical issues. Her inability to sleep should be mentioned to her doctor so the cause can be determined. If you're correct that it's nosiness, then it should be handled firmly -- by you and your husband -- and some other living arrangement for her should be made.

DEAR ABBY: I have read your column since I was a little girl. Now, at 35, I need your advice.

For years, a friend of mine was in love with me. I didn't want to ruin the friendship by getting into a relationship, so I'd brush off his advances.

After six years, I realized he was a good man who would do anything for me, so I decided to go on a date. The date led to marriage, but now, five years later, we are divorced because I realized we were better off as friends rather than spouses.

He was OK with the divorce and moving out because he knew I would be happier, and he wanted me to be happy. Now that he's gone, I am sad that I have lost my friend. I miss the friendship we once had, and I'm heartbroken. It feels like I have suffered a death. Can you please help me? I'm not sure what to do. -- LOST OUT WEST

DEAR LOST: In a sense, you HAVE suffered a death -- the death of your marriage. Give yourself time to grieve.

If you thought that after divorcing your husband you could go back to being friends as though the marriage never happened, you were unrealistic. From his perspective, he has been rejected on a very basic level. In order to get past it, he may need time and distance from you. That's understandable.

In the meantime, stay busy with friends and projects because that will give you less time to brood. If you're not exercising, start now. Regular exercise can help to lessen depression. However, if your sadness persists, discuss it with a licensed psychotherapist so it doesn't become chronic.

DEAR ABBY: A co-worker has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. She's not sure how long she may have. She is relatively young, so it's tragic. We have excellent insurance from work, national health care and disability insurance.

Another co-worker sent out an email with a link to a crowdfunding site as well as an invitation to a party selling products. The proceeds will be donated to fulfilling a "cancer bucket list," which includes pampering, trips and other luxuries.

I sympathize with anyone having a terminal illness, but why does that mean I have to give money? Do they have a right to be pampered on other people's dime?

This kind of fundraising, without real financial need, seems to happen often: Co-workers who have had accidents, fires, unexpected or stressful incidents all have office collections set up, even when they are fully insured and the damage is covered by their policies. A friend (or Human Resources) contacts everyone who has had even a passing interaction with the individual and solicits donations.

I am happy to write letters and notes to people I know are having a hard time. I visit with closer friends and may bring a meal or flowers to their home. But people I've spent only a few hours of my life with asking for money for luxuries seems nervy to me. Am I a tightwad, or is a financial donation necessary to express condolences? -- TIGHTWAD IN CANADA

DEAR TIGHTWAD: Because you receive a solicitation does not mean you are obligated to respond to it. (Unless the "solicitor" is holding a gun, in which case I would advise you not to argue.) Whether to make a donation for something like this is your choice, and if you choose not to join in, you should not feel -- or be made to feel -- guilty if you decline.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is being married in June. Her father -- my ex -- has let her know she must invite his new wife's parents to the wedding. They are drinkers, and have in the past been very rude to my daughter. She has no relationship at all with them and doesn't want them at her wedding. She is aware that this will cause hard feelings with her stepmother and her father.

My soon-to-be son-in-law called me asking for advice. I said maybe they should be invited to keep peace in the family, but my daughter is very upset at the idea of having these people around on her "special day." Any advice? -- WEDDING INVITE IN WISCONSIN

DEAR WEDDING INVITE: Your ex-husband's new in-laws are not related to your daughter and do not appear to have made an effort to befriend her. Because of that, I see no reason why they "must" be invited, unless your ex is footing the bill for the wedding.

If this is the case, and the wedding is a large one, the couple could be seated "in Siberia," which might be a less than satisfactory, but workable, solution. (Why they would insist on coming under these circumstances, I can't say, but some people will do almost anything for a free dinner.)

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend and I have been together for three years and have a 1-year-old daughter. Unfortunately, our fights have become more frequent now. She suggested counseling, which I agree with. However, she insists I'm the one who is causing the problem and I should go first.

Sometimes we fight about finances, since I work to support our family while she looks after our daughter. We are a mixed-race couple and sometimes race comes into play. She accuses me of making demands on her because of my ethnicity (e.g., "You want an obedient partner because you're Chinese"). To me, that's racist, and I have told her so. Of course she disagrees.

Needless to say, that's my version of the story. Where can I find a good therapist? -- ROBERT IN NEW YORK

DEAR ROBERT: I agree you and your girlfriend could use some counseling, but you should get it together. That your girlfriend drags race into your financial disagreements is unfair to you.

Ask your physician if he or she knows a good counselor, check with your health insurance company for a referral, or visit the New York State Psychological Association website (nyspa.org) to find someone who is licensed to practice in your state.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing about all the letters you've printed that assume every relationship must end in marriage -- or at least living together -- in order to work. It isn't so. Robert Parker, noted author of the Spenser novels, and his wife lived on separate floors of a duplex for decades. I have been with my significant other for 20 years, and the only thing that keeps us together is living apart.

In our case, we aren't married and we live in the same condo complex, a minute's walk apart. After we had spent about 10 years as a couple, the neighbors stopped asking me when we would be married.

I'm a 59-year-old woman; he's a 64-year-old man. He needs absolute minimalism in his home, as opposed to my need to have things out so I don't forget them. In short, we have different living styles.

I have met many other women who envy my living situation. They love their husbands, but find living together to be too stressful. Comments, Abby? -- CINDY IN NAPLES, FLA.

DEAR CINDY: My only comment would be that I'm glad you and your significant other have found a lifestyle that works for you and fosters your relationship. I hope you have many happy years together and apart.

DEAR ABBY: If I take my wife out for a nice dinner, is it rude for her to excuse herself a couple of times during dinner to go outside and smoke a cigarette? -- DINNER FOR TWO

DEAR D.F.T.: This isn't a question of rudeness. Your wife is severely addicted to nicotine. If she could make it through the meal without a fix, I'm sure she would. How sad!