DEAR ABBY: I live with my parents and am not fond of children. My father volunteers me to baby-sit my nieces while they are right in front of us and before I have a chance to discuss anything. If I stand up for myself and say no, my father lays a guilt trip on me and tells the kids that their aunt is "being mean."

I'm grateful that my parents took me in after I graduated from university, which has allowed me to work on a second degree. However, when I am volunteered to do something I don't enjoy -- like entertain the kids -- my father somehow always manages to leave the house. He often lectures me about things I should do or things others should do, but he never does any of them himself. His excuse is that he works to support us financially.

Am I being ungrateful and should I grin and bear it? Or should I do an intervention with Dad when the kids aren't over? -- OVERTIRED AUNT

DEAR OVERTIRED: Assuming that you have told your father your feelings, he may feel that because he supports you, he has the right to volunteer your services. What might work would be to tell your sibling how you feel about being trapped into doing it -- and about kids in general. I know I wouldn't want any children of mine to be around someone who resents having to care for them. Perhaps your sibling will feel the same.

DEAR ABBY: I have had cancer for 12 years. This will be my last year. The chemo treatment was getting stronger and making me sick longer. I told most of my siblings that I decided on no more chemo. The doctor warned my daughter eight months ago that there will be no stopping the progression of my disease.

My daughter has a lot on her plate right now, finding and buying a house, getting a new job and planning her wedding for next year. I have tried to help her plan for my death, but it only upsets her.

I feel great and better each day since I have been off the chemo. I have a positive attitude about the short future that's ahead of me. So how do I tell my daughter this is my last year? -- LIVING AND LOVING LIFE IN NEW ENGLAND

DEAR LIVING AND LOVING: I'm sorry about your prognosis. Few people welcome the idea of their parents' passing, but it is a subject that needs to be discussed.

A way to get the message across to your daughter would be to call a family meeting so that she will have emotional support when she hears about your decision. Announce that you are feeling better than you have in a long time because you are no longer having chemo, and make clear what your wishes are in the event of your death.

Right now your daughter is understandably focused on herself. Do not expect that she will take the news well, and be sure to have your plans in writing so there will be no confusion among family members later.

DEAR ABBY: I have officially found my biggest pet peeve. It's a pervasive issue with my generation of committing to something and not showing up.

They'll flake at the last minute, or refuse to commit to something because there's a possibility something better will come along. And constantly showing up late has become normal with young adults. Furthermore, despite the many technological advances that allow us to communicate quickly, their failure to communicate about plans astounds and infuriates me.

I've encountered this problem too often with friends, co-workers, bosses and professors at university. I have tried to let it roll off my back and remind people about how their rudeness affects others, but I'm not sure what else I can do.

Obviously, I can't control other people. How can I express my frustration without being a monster? -- HAD IT UP TO HERE

DEAR HAD IT: I assume that you have already expressed your frustration to at least some of the people you have described. If this happens regularly, it's a sign that they don't care how their behavior affects others.

You can spare yourself much stress if you start "deleting" irresponsible, self-centered individuals from your circle to the extent that it's possible. Of course, you can't do that with those who have control over your life such as professors or employers right now, so you will have to tolerate some of this behavior for the present.

DEAR ABBY: My father, a widower, is in his late 80s. He's in great shape, still drives, goes on vacations and volunteers twice a week. He is brilliant, and enjoys cars, gambling and eating.

I promised I'd call him on a weekly basis, but I don't know what to talk to my father about. He's a man of few words, so our conversations are somewhat limited after I ask about his interests. I'd be very appreciative if you or your readers can suggest some topics I haven't thought of. -- STUMPED DAUGHTER

DEAR STUMPED DAUGHTER: How about talking to your father about some of your own interests -- what you have been doing, movies or plays you have seen, restaurants you have tried that he might enjoy, what's going on with other relatives, and current events. If necessary, make a short list of topics from your local newspaper and keep it with you when you call him. And remember, conversations don't have to be long ones -- just interesting.

DEAR READERS: Allow me to wish a Happy Father's Day to fathers everywhere -- birth fathers, stepfathers, adoptive and foster fathers, grandfathers, and all of those caring men who mentor children and fill the role of absent dads. I applaud you all! -- LOVE, ABBY

P.S. And per many readers' requests, I'm giving a shout-out to dual-role moms, too.

DEAR ABBY: I have plans to go to law school in the next two years. I have already taken the entrance exam, and will receive recommendations from two of my college professors. The problem is, my parents are refusing to co-sign for my law school loan.

Abby, I'm not asking for money; I'm just asking for someone to co-sign the loan for me. I plan to pay off the debt myself. I don't want to ask an extended family member for help, because even if they agree, I'd feel horrible if it prevented them from helping their own children with something.

My parents don't have a good enough excuse to not co-sign for me, and it surprises me that it doesn't embarrass them that I may have to ask another family member for help. What should I do, Abby? -- FUTURE LAW SCHOOL STUDENT

DEAR FUTURE LAW SCHOOL STUDENT: Your parents shouldn't have to meet your criteria for what is a "good enough" excuse for being reluctant to co-sign on a loan for you. It should be enough that they are uncomfortable with the prospect of doing it.

While your desire to pursue the field of law is admirable, have you researched what job opportunities are available to new law school graduates? Currently, according to the media, these jobs are not nearly as plentiful as they have been historically.

However, if you are determined to plunge ahead, I think you already know what you're going to have to do -- and that includes seeing if you can find another source of funding for your law school education.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half. We knew each other for a while prior because we used to work together. Our relationship has been somewhat fun. The only issue that bothers me is that he can never seem to open up. He doesn't express his feelings toward me or even show much that he cares that we're together.

When I ask him about it, he says he's just not ready to open up and I should respect that. I do, because he has been through a lot in life. But it's hard to figure out where I stand with him. I'm always the one to make the first move -- whether it's to show affection or express my love for him. It's lonely and confusing that he doesn't, and I often feel like I'm in a relationship with myself.

Should I give him more time to get comfortable enough to open up? Or am I wasting my time? -- MIXED UP IN LOVE

DEAR MIXED UP: Not all men are comfortable expressing their emotions verbally. More important than what someone tells you, is how he treats you. You stated that he not only doesn't express his emotions, but also doesn't show that he cares you are a couple. A year and a half has been plenty of time for your boyfriend to respond with more than indifference.

Because you need more than he seems capable of giving, it's time to find someone who can give you the affection and affirmation you crave. In a relationship, BOTH parties must contribute if it is to survive.