DEAR ABBY: I'm 15. My problem is I often mouth off and insult people. When I'm asked to explain why I said what I did, I answer with, "I don't know" or a shrug. It's the truth. It upsets me that I act this way, and I have lost friends because of it.

My parents think counseling and therapy are a coward's way out, and I don't want to go to my school counselors because they'll tell my parents or the state. Is it a blatant choice not to care, something subconscious or a possible disorder? I'm under a lot of stress. I know stressors can cause people to act this way, but I have a feeling it's not caused by stress. What should I do? -- NERVOUS AND AFRAID

DEAR NERVOUS AND AFRAID: Everyone snaps sometimes, but because it has ruined relationships, do talk to a school counselor or other adult you trust about what's happening. Your behavior may just be part of being a teenager, but if the stressors in your life might also be a factor, it's important you understand what triggers your behavior so you can modify it.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 14-year-old girl and I have an identical twin. The problem is, she always gets all the attention, especially from boys. I don't understand why because we look exactly alike, and in my opinion, I have the better personality. When I'm around her, which is practically all the time, I feel invisible -- as if people only see HER. How do I get people to stop noticing my sister and get them to see that I deserve some attention? -- HERE, TOO, IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR HERE, TOO: You say you and your twin are together practically all the time. THAT may be the problem. If you want to be noticed, start joining activities on your own. That way, you will develop separate interests and, along with them, separate friendships. Although you and your twin are identical, you do not have to be joined at the hip. Remember that.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 27 and my grandparents have played very important roles in my life. I know they won't be here forever, and I cry myself to sleep thinking about this.

Besides spending more time with them, what else do you suggest I do to prepare myself for their passing? -- LOVING GRANDDAUGHTER

DEAR LOVING GRANDDAUGHTER: Accept that death is a part of life and make sure that yours is a full and happy one. And make an effort to stay in the moment. The more time you spend obsessing about what will eventually happen, the less you will have to enjoy the blessings you have today.

DEAR ABBY: I'm concerned about a photo my uncle posted to Facebook. It features my two female cousins, ages 6 and 2, shirtless. I know no harm was intended in posting the photo, as they are both adorable girls. However, I find it inappropriate that the 6-year-old -- who is going into first grade -- was shirtless in the photo. Now that it is on the internet, it could be easily seen by a pedophile.

How do I express my concern to my uncle about this without coming off like I am trying to parent for him? I'm only 17 and don't want to overstep my boundaries, but as a caring family member, I am concerned. -- NIECE IN COLORADO

DEAR NIECE: Because you are nervous about approaching your uncle about this, consider discussing your concerns with the children's mother. If your uncle is a single parent, then mention it to your own parents and, if they agree with you, ask them to mention to your uncle that his semi-nude pictures on the web may endanger his daughters.

P.S. Your uncle should be made aware that he can customize his account settings and make his profile private. That way, only family and selected close friends will be able to see his timeline.

DEAR ABBY: My neighbor is taking care of her grandchildren. She seems responsible and the courts have allowed her to be their foster mother. Her own children not only steal, but are also physically abusive. The court ordered the mother of the kids (my neighbor's daughter) to have no contact with them. Their father is in prison.

I am friendly with this neighbor and her grandchildren. I wish I had a way to tell her that her constant shouting and screaming at the kids is unhealthy. How can I help this family and these little ones? Should I just come out and say what's on my mind -- that yelling at them undermines their self-esteem and does no good whatsoever? -- KIND NEIGHBOR IN MICHIGAN

DEAR KIND NEIGHBOR: Have a chat with your neighbor about it, if you can manage it without coming across as judgmental (i.e., accusing her of "undermining their self-esteem"). When you do, tell her you know she is carrying a lot of responsibility on her shoulders and she may be yelling because she's stressed. Then offer to watch the grandchildren for her once or twice a month, so she can have some quiet time for herself. If you do, you would be doing her and her grandchildren a great favor.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 28 and have been a licensed practical nurse since 2007. Although I've been a nurse for nine years, I feel incompetent and like I haven't learned much over the years. I pray every day I go to work that no serious situations arise because I'm afraid I won't be able to handle them correctly. Many people have suggested I further my education and become an RN, but I feel it would be a waste because I don't feel smart enough. What should I do? -- WARY IN OHIO

DEAR WARY: I think you should challenge yourself and take some of those classes to further your education. If you do well in them, continue. If not, you can look for another line of work then.

However, before you do anything else, please talk with a licensed mental health professional to get to the reasons for your low self-esteem. Those feelings of inadequacy may be what are holding you back and preventing you from enjoying the important work you do.

DEAR ABBY: My brother, "Chris," is going through a divorce and lost his business. He is now lashing out at our mom and me when she spends time with me.

When I tried to express my sympathy, Chris attacked me via direct message, saying I have a "charmed life and don't care about anyone -- including him and our cash-strapped parents." It started when Dad gave me a car he wasn't using before we learned about my brother's misfortune. When I tried to return it, Dad refused.

Because I stopped responding to him on the internet, Chris is now complaining to Mom about my "selfishness." He says if the situation was reversed, he would have moved heaven and Earth to help me.

Abby, Chris has a job. He lives with our folks and pays token rent. My husband and I work, but I have had a salary cut, we have two kids to support and a mortgage to pay. We're in no position to provide the financial assistance my brother expects. My parents suspect that he's still giving money to his soon-to-be ex.

My husband says Chris is trying to manipulate me and that I need to go on with my life, but I'm worried that the longer this goes on, the harder it will be to heal the rift. I'm also worried about how this is affecting our parents. -- GRIEVING IN NICOSIA, CYPRUS

DEAR GRIEVING: You cannot heal a rift you didn't create, and you also can't "donate away" Chris' resentment. He's unhappy for a number of reasons and is taking it out on you not because you're a bad sister, but because you are within striking distance.

Your brother needs to work out his difficulties himself. A family meeting -- including your husband -- might clear the air so all of you are on the same page. Your brother needs to understand why the financial help he seems to expect is unrealistic and will not be forthcoming.

DEAR ABBY: Is there any way to counter a stranger's mean or hurtful remark (racist, age-related or sexist) in a mall or store? I feel I have to say something -- without being confrontational -- even if the remark isn't aimed at me. What do you suggest? -- COMPELLED TO ACT IN OTTAWA, CANADA

DEAR COMPELLED: Because you don't want a confrontation, I urge you to say nothing to the person who made the offensive remark. However, you could approach the person who was the target and quietly say: "That was uncalled for. I hope you realize the person who said that is ignorant, and don't let it get to you."