DEAR ABBY: I have been married for almost three years to a woman who refuses to share the same bed with me. It started on our honeymoon when, after having sex, she chose to sleep in a different bed whenever there were two beds in the room.

She's in her late 40s and had never been married before. We have been intimate only twice in the last year. Moreover, she doesn't let me sit next to her while we watch TV, and there is no kissing, no touching, no affection of any kind, physical or verbal.

I have wracked my brain trying to figure out why she treats me like this, and I have a few suspicions. She's applying for permanent residence status and may have married me only for that, although she denies it. She can no longer bear children, so she may think there is no point in having sex or being intimate. She may have an aversion to being touched, although she doesn't show that when we're out in public. She likes to hug her female friends. (And no, I don't think she's a lesbian.)

Any love that existed between us is nearly gone at this point, so am I justified in getting a separation? We have been to counseling, and that is what the therapist recommended. -- FEELING UNLOVED IN UTAH

DEAR FEELING UNLOVED: Assuming you brush your teeth, use deodorant and shower regularly, I'm as mystified about your wife's behavior as you are. I know people who treat their dogs and cats better than this woman has been treating you. That you have tolerated it this long is surprising.

Your therapist has advised a separation, but I would go further than that. Because you don't have a marriage, I think you should make it official.

DEAR ABBY: I receive at least two or three telemarketing calls a day -- and sometimes even more on Sundays. Can you please tell me what to do to put a stop to this?

I have written once before to an address to curb this situation, but no luck. These calls come as late as 9 p.m. Thank you for any advice. -- STRESSED OUT IN ILLINOIS

DEAR STRESSED OUT: I agree that telemarketing calls are invasive when they come in multiples. The USA.gov Consumer Action Handbook includes a number you can call to restrict telemarketing calls permanently by registering your phone number. It is 888-382-1222. This can also be done online at www.donotcall.gov.

If you receive telemarketing calls after your number has been in the national registry for 31 days, you can file a complaint using the same web page and toll-free number.

This will cut back on some of the calls you receive, but not all of them. Political organizations, charities and telephone surveyors with which you have a relationship can still get through. However, if you still find yourself being inundated, contact your phone provider and inquire about call-blocking 800 numbers. Good luck!

DEAR ABBY: After two failed marriages, I married a wonderful man whom I love but am not in love with. He recently had a seizure, after which he was diagnosed with moderate dementia.

All I see is a long, dark road ahead. We are both senior citizens with not a long time left on this Earth. My health is suffering because of this situation. I am extremely depressed, suffer from panic attacks and have lost any hope of happiness in the future.

I am torn between my responsibility to my husband and leaving to try to find some sort of joy in my life. If I stay, my mental and physical health will be ruined. If I leave, guilt will destroy me. Is there a solution? -- OVERWHELMED IN HOUSTON

DEAR OVERWHELMED: Yes, and the first part of the solution is to realize you are NOT a weak sister -- as much as you might think you are. You took a vow to stand by the man you married, and now it's time to honor it. He may not be the love of your life, but he is your friend. Friends don't cut and run when the going gets tough.

Talk to a geriatrician (M.D.) to find out what kind of care your husband needs now and will need in the future. You should also learn as much as you can about what services for seniors exist in your community. He may eventually need an assisted living facility, but in the meantime, a home caregiver may be able to help him with personal grooming and give you some time to yourself. If he has children or other family members, they might be willing to pitch in and help.

While a diagnosis of dementia is daunting, I urge you to enjoy the time you have with him now. He's still the person you cared for enough to marry. He WILL be that person for quite a while. You may be a senior, but you're still vital and may have many years ahead to enjoy life. If you fulfill your role as a supportive wife now, your chances of finding happiness when your husband's journey is over will be greater.

A final thought: You're not alone. There is support out there for you and your husband. Reach out to the Alzheimer's Association (alz.org; 800-272-3900) for information and local support and resources.

DEAR ABBY: I have been invited to a "gender reveal" party. I have never heard of such a thing. I mean, REALLY?

In my day, a married woman's first child was welcomed with a baby shower. Today, baby showers are given for three, four, five children of the same mother whether she's married or not. Am I out of the loop on this one? I anxiously await your reply. -- NOT READY FOR THIS

DEAR NOT READY: Parents don't know what the sex of their child will be until they get the results of the first or second ultrasound. Some of them choose to have the results presented to them in an envelope and given to a third person, to be shared with family and friends during a gender reveal party that is sometimes held in place of a baby shower. The results of the ultrasound are then announced either verbally or, in some cases, by serving attendees white or yellow cupcakes with cream centers that are either pink or blue.

Yes, it's an excuse to have a party, but why not celebrate? If the idea is a turn-off, no law says you must attend.

DEAR ABBY: While our daughter was on vacation with our small grandkids, she bought them postcards and suggested they write us about their vacation.

She said she laughed when the kids finished with the cards because she hadn't realized they didn't know how to write a postcard. The children had turned the cards sideways and had written across the entire card from top to bottom. Not wanting to hurt their feelings, she found a half-inch space on one side and in tiny print wrote our names and address.

I would like to thank the postal workers in both Springfield and Wales, Massachusetts, and in Hartford, Connecticut, for caring, for taking the time to search for our address and forwarding these wonderful memories to us. -- THANKFUL GRANDMA J.

DEAR THANKFUL: I'm pleased to pass along your message to the caring postal workers who ensured that you receive the postcards. They obviously take pride in their work.

When I started writing this reply, I thought I'd begin by quoting the postal workers' official motto: "Neither rain nor hail nor sleet nor snow," etc. Then, unsure of the correct wording, I decided to look it up online. What I found fascinated me, and I hope it will you, too. Here's the gist:

Contrary to popular belief, the U.S. Postal Service has no motto. The familiar sentence "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds" is actually just the inscription found on the General Post Office in New York City at 8th Avenue and 33rd Street.

The inscription was provided by the architects who designed the building. The sentence appears in a translation of the account of the fifth-century B.C. Greek historian Herodotus and describes the expedition of the Greeks against the Persians. The Persians had a system of mounted postal couriers, and he was describing the fidelity with which their work was done.

DEAR ABBY: Several months ago I spoke to a doctor friend about some medical issues my wife was experiencing. He specializes in this particular area. When he advised my wife to come into the office, I told him it was not a good time for us financially. He said not to worry about it.

We made the appointment, and about two months later the bill arrived. We are on a high-deductible health plan and the bill is not cheap. How can I discuss this with my friend without offending? I don't want to sound presumptuous -- I know this is his livelihood -- but we would have stuck it out until we were better off financially. -- FINANCIAL DIFFICULTY

DEAR "DIFFICULTY": Call your friend the doctor and explain the situation. If you do, he may reduce the amount of his bill or, alternatively, agree to a payment plan that you can manage.