DEAR ABBY: I am a 40-year-old man, divorced with teenage children, and have been exclusively dating a woman who has a 4-year-old daughter. There have been no clashes between our children.

We have yet to have sex. When I'm over at her place, I sleep on the living room floor either on an inflatable air mattress (her idea) or in a sleeping bag (my response when I just couldn't take the air mattress any longer). Either way, I feel like I'm left to sleep on a dog bed -- not great for my self-esteem, as you can imagine.

My girlfriend uses her daughter as the reason, suggesting that the girl just wouldn't understand me sleeping in Mommy's bed. I don't personally see it as being a big issue for her daughter, given how long we have been together. We have discussed the subject, and she makes reference to perhaps planning some sort of rendezvous, but it never seems to go from theory to practice.

There are no religious issues here. My girlfriend did have a promiscuous and troubled past as a young adult, so I'm sensitive to the issue. But this is driving me nuts. Any suggestions would be appreciated. -- ON HOLD IN NEW YORK

DEAR ON HOLD: People usually find the time to do the things they want to do. Your girlfriend may be holding out for marriage, not have a strong sex drive, or not be as attracted to you as you are to her.

You didn't mention how long you have been seeing this lady, but I think it's time you discussed your feelings with her again, find out exactly why your sexual relationship hasn't gone from theory to practice, and take your cue from there.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 37 and have been married for eight years. I love my husband, but I'm not "in love" with him. In my younger years I gave my heart to another woman.

Since then, I have masked my true feelings, but I can't do it anymore. I'm still in love with "Loretta," and I want to be with her. But now I have many responsibilities -- husband, kids, etc.

I have told my husband about my feelings, but he seems to think this is something I'll get over. I was 17 when Loretta and I started our relationship. We still love each other very much. I don't want to hurt him, so what do I do? -- FOLLOWING MY HEART IN ALABAMA

DEAR FOLLOWING: What you do is tell your husband that you thought you might be able to get over your love for Loretta, but that you haven't. Do not expect him to take the news lightly because he has good reason to be upset. But he needs to know that none of this is his fault.

If he has trouble accepting and understanding this, suggest he contact the Straight Spouse Network (straightspouse.org) for the support it offers to the heterosexual partners of LGBT individuals.

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem with my two younger sisters. Neither one can have children. I have three.

Recently, one of my sisters turned my sweetest daughter against me by telling her I had "abandoned her" when I moved to Ohio with my oldest son and divorced their father. Not true! I left my daughter with my sister so she could experience raising a teenager since she couldn't have a child of her own.

After telling my daughter I had abandoned her, my sister advised her to tell me she never wanted to talk to me again. My heart is broken. My daughter is very sweet and gullible. She has taken her aunt's side and says she wants nothing to do with me. This is driving me crazy. Please tell me what to do. -- HEARTBROKEN IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: If your daughter is a minor, demand that she return to you immediately. Do it through a lawyer, if necessary, because what your sister is doing is a form of parental alienation. If your daughter is an adult, then ask your other two children to talk to their sister and set her straight.

DEAR ABBY: When a couple is on an airplane in a section with three seats (window, middle, aisle) and a male stranger has the window seat, should the woman sit in the middle seat beside the male stranger, or in the aisle seat exposed to all passengers walking by? -- TRAVELER IN VANCOUVER, B.C.

DEAR TRAVELER: When someone makes an airline reservation, a particular seat is usually assigned and the airline expects the passenger to sit there unless the crew is notified and approves the change. There are many variables regarding why a person would want an aisle seat. Among them would be access to the bathroom, a person's size or a desire for more personal space. If sitting in the middle seat in close proximity to a man you don't know would bother you, mention it to one of the cabin crew and request a change, or just switch seats with your travel companion.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a retired man who took a community college class. My lab partner was a young woman who was having difficulties attending the class. She wasn't there for the final exam, and I wondered if she had dropped the course. I did not have her phone number or her email address, but she had mentioned she worked at a nearby bank, so I went to visit her there. We talked for a few minutes and she told me she had actually done quite well in the class.

When I told my wife and daughter about it, they were shocked. They said what I did was inappropriate because of the age difference and she could have gotten into trouble at her job. Abby, they almost accused me of stalking her.

I don't understand why they considered this inappropriate. Is there a social rule that makes my behavior incorrect? I find it hard to believe someone would get into trouble for talking to a person in the bank at any age. Gender should not be a concern. I would have done the same thing had she been a man my own age. -- AM I MISSING SOMETHING?

DEAR AM I: You appear to be a very nice person. What you are "missing" is the fact that your wife is insecure, and your daughter backed her mother up. You did nothing wrong.

DEAR ABBY: This is my second marriage. My first husband died when our daughter was 5 months old. I met my current husband, "Robert," when she was 6. We have a wonderful relationship as a couple and as a family. He's an amazing husband and father. We now have another child who is 7 months old.

I fear I have become a problem for Robert. I'm so attached to him that I don't ever want him to leave. He works from home -- even though he shouldn't -- because I want him to be with me. I end up distracting him and he misses deadlines. His job is almost over because the grant is over, and he's looking for a job. We are both very worried about this.

I know Robert will never complain about my need for his attention. I know he prefers us to be together, but he needs to work and I need to let him. I don't know why I struggle with this. I have never behaved this way. -- CAN'T LET GO

DEAR CAN'T LET GO: I have a hunch that what's going on with you is that you lost your first husband, and you're terrified that if this one isn't with you every minute, something terrible will happen to him, too.

Because this is having a negative impact on his career, it is extremely important that you learn how to manage this insecurity. The quickest way to accomplish it would be to talk this over with a licensed psychotherapist who can give you the insight and the tools you need. Please don't put it off.

DEAR ABBY: As an established patient with a specialized doctor, I recently went for my annual checkup. My appointment was scheduled a year ago. As I was checking in, I was informed that my doctor now collects all insurance co-pays before seeing patients.

As a senior citizen, I was shocked. Being expected to pay before the service makes me feel like he doesn't trust me. I can understand a convenience store expecting me to pay for my gas upfront because of drive-offs, but not a professional medical provider. I pay all my bills on time and have excellent credit.

It may be my age, but I want to feel respected and trusted. Shouldn't a doctor's office trust its established patients enough to allow them to pay once the service has been rendered? Has our country fallen so low that we are all guilty until proven innocent? -- FRUSTRATED PATIENT IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR FRUSTRATED: The reason you were asked for your co-pay in advance may have nothing to do with your personal trustworthiness. Your doctor may have had more than a few patients who were delinquent in paying.

Because you were offended, this is something you should discuss with your physician who, because of your long relationship, may be willing to make an exception. However, if that's not the case, you might be more comfortable taking your business to another doctor.