DEAR ABBY: I'm a 15-year-old girl, and I'm madly in love with my boyfriend. The only problem is, I can't tell anyone but my closest friends about him. I met him over the internet, and he's an amazing guy. I didn't think I'd ever fall in love with him, but I did. He lives in New York, and I'm planning on going up to see him as soon as I possibly can.

I really, really want to tell my mom, but I don't want to lose him. I know if I say too much about him, she'll find out. He's a better boyfriend than my last boyfriend, and he actually treats me like I'm something and not dirt. He truly saved me, but I know my mom won't see it that way. What do I do? -- IN LOVE IN VIRGINIA

DEAR IN LOVE: Start thinking with your head instead of your heart. There is no guarantee that everything the person -- as nice as he appears to be -- has told you online is true, including his name, his gender, his age, marital status or criminal record.

What you need to do is level with your mom about the fact that you have met someone on the internet you think is special, and ask her if you can invite him to visit YOU so you can get to know each other and she can check him out. You should NOT go to a different city to meet him because to do so could be very dangerous.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are in our 50s and have been having marital difficulties lately. We work different shifts. By the time he gets home, I'm sound asleep.

He likes to wake me up in the middle of the night for sex. I told him it's not right because I have to work in the morning. He said he thought he saw in the Dear Abby column that if a husband wakes a wife for sex, she should accommodate him. I told him that was crazy. But I wanted to check with you. Help! -- WEARY IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR WEARY: He may have read that in some other advice column, but he didn't get permission from me. What I have written is that coercing or bullying someone into doing something of a sexual nature that he or she doesn't want to do is abuse.

DEAR ABBY: I work for a small company where I am privy to a lot of confidential information, and I know the owner is letting the business die. All of the experienced senior staff have quit because they recognized what's going on, but the new hires think this is normal. These are self-supporting young adults with college loans to pay off. One is a dad with a young child.

I feel so guilty looking for a job while everyone else is clueless about their future. Because it's part of my position to know how we are doing financially, I can't tell them they will be out of jobs soon. Or can I? -- KEEPING A SECRET

DEAR KEEPING: Much as you might wish to, I don't recommend that you spill the beans. If you reveal proprietary information to the other employees, and you signed a confidentiality agreement with your bosses at the time you were hired, as many employees do, you could be sued.

DEAR ABBY: I am 32 years old and divorced my wife two years ago. Although I tried dating for a bit, it was a brave new world of online apps and profiles. It wasn't for me, and I became discouraged.

A year has gone by and female friends are telling me I need to get back out and date. I find the whole endeavor depressing and prefer to spend my time elsewhere and single. They say my decision to stay single is emotionally driven and I "deserve love."

My argument against dating is that I wasn't a good husband and I have no interest in devoting the time or energy to date in the scary and confusing world of the web. Can you settle this dispute so that we can stop the back-and-forth arguments? -- DIVORCED AND DATELESS

DEAR DIVORCED AND DATELESS: I agree that opening yourself up to strangers can be scary. If you are not interested in meeting women on the internet, I won't force you, even though that's how many -- although not all -- relationships start these days.

Because that's not your cup of tea, there are other ways to meet nice women, among them getting out and participating in activities you enjoy or volunteering for a cause you believe in. Of course, that necessitates being open to having a relationship with someone and believing you deserve one. From the tone of your letter, I'm not sure you're there yet. Not having been a good husband the first time is no excuse if you have learned from your mistakes.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. He is in grad school. I failed out of community college. My lack of education stresses me out emotionally. I love him very much, and I see a future with him. But the idea of an architect and a community college dropout makes my heart ache. He deserves someone more on his intellectual level. He is originally from another state and this is one of the reasons why I haven't met his family.

I have thought about trying to get a degree to become a certified nursing assistant, but again there would be a gap in our professional levels. I'm afraid that when he does introduce me to his family they will convince him he's better off without me. Part of me believes it's true.

Please give me advice about what to do. I don't want to lose him, but at the same time, I want him to be happy. -- UNEQUAL IN WISCONSIN

DEAR UNEQUAL: I can't help but wonder if you have ever spoken with someone who does career counseling. Some universities and community colleges have extension divisions that offer it. Part of the counseling involves aptitude testing, which could help you determine what you would be good at.

Being a nursing assistant is a respectable career that involves responsibility and people skills. If you feel drawn to it, then that's what you should pursue, and you should not feel embarrassed or have a need to apologize for it.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 21-year-old college student. Recently, my cousin (also 21) moved in with my parents and me because her mom is verbally and mentally abusive. Lately, I'm having issues with her being here.

She constantly barges into my room, leaving me no time for myself. Most days she ends up napping in my bed instead of hers, leaving drool on my sheets. When she comes home from school, she drops all of her things in my room. My parents cleared out a room for her, yet most of her stuff is in mine.

She gets ready in my room instead of hers and talks on the phone with her boyfriend loudly while I'm studying or reading. She's constantly complaining about school, her boyfriend, work, etc. If I get invited somewhere, she tries to tag along.

I don't know what to do. I need time for myself. I can't bring these issues up to her because she's extremely sensitive and will see it as an attack. I don't know how much longer I can take it because she is stuck here until November. Please help. -- CALIFORNIA GIRL

DEAR CALIFORNIA GIRL: You need to talk to your parents about your cousin's lack of boundaries. Everyone needs personal time, and yours should be respected. Installing a lock on your bedroom door could guarantee that your cousin stays out in your absence.

However, because you are all adults -- even though your cousin appears to be emotionally stuck in adolescence -- some rules need to be established. If she would consider it an attack if they come from you, your parents should be the ones who deliver the message.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 13 and my problem is, when I look in the mirror, all I can see is ugliness. My mother has heard the way I talk about myself, and she doesn't like it one bit. But I can't seem to stop because all I hear is, "You're ugly or you're fat. Go on a diet!" Is there something wrong with me? Do I need help? If so, what type of help? -- WEST COAST TEEN

DEAR WEST COAST TEEN: Whether or not you are overweight is something your doctor should determine. As to your being "ugly," most young teenagers go through a period of transition. Your problem isn't your looks. It's the voice in your head. My advice to you would be to concentrate on developing the things you are good at -- sports, music, art, drama -- and let the rest take care of itself because it will.