DEAR ABBY: I am having to part ways with someone I have known for 15 years. This person has done many good things for me. On the other hand, he has also thrown more insults at me than anyone else in my lifetime. At the snap of a finger, this normally good-hearted person has insulted me, insisted I was wrong (when I wasn't) or dumped cold water on something I was enthusiastic about.

A week ago, I approached him calmly and told him I was uncomfortable with his put-downs. Well, he threw an over-the-top temper tantrum the likes of which I have never seen, accused me of being "weak-kneed" and stomped away. I have finally had it.

I mentioned it to a friend who is a psychologist and he said this person has all the character traits of a raging narcissist. I'm now convinced this person will never change and I cannot understand the pettiness he reverts to. Can you comment? -- BREAKING AWAY IN MIAMI

DEAR BREAKING AWAY: If you feel it is better for you to distance yourself from this "friend," then that's what you should do. He may be a jackass; however, it is unwise to label someone who hasn't been formally diagnosed as having a personality disorder.

DEAR ABBY: A year ago we had a house fire. While insurance put us up in housing, it took a while to find a place. That first month I didn't know if I was coming or going. Dealing with insurance, contractors, family and a job was almost more than I could handle. The last thing I needed to hear was, "What's for dinner?"

If I have one piece of advice to offer to people who want to help friends, it would be, "Give them gift cards from local restaurants." I know how much I hated to speak up and say I needed help, so don't ask, just do if you see something needs to be done.

This idea also works well in lieu of flowers or home-cooked meals when someone dies. We gave a friend several gift cards for area restaurants when her husband died. When out-of-town company came in for the funeral, she said they came in handy for her. -- HOPEFULLY HELPFUL

DEAR HOPEFULLY HELPFUL: People are often at a loss about how to help during a crisis, and this isn't something that usually comes to mind. Your suggestion is a good one. Thank you for writing.

DEAR ABBY: Is there a proper way for a man to introduce himself to an attractive woman in a public place like a store or a museum? -- DAN IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR DAN: It's not difficult. If you're in a store, ask for her advice about a product. If you're in a museum, strike up a conversation about an artist or a painting, sculpture, etc. Then introduce yourself and keep talking. If she's receptive, she'll give you her name.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years, although we have known each other for almost seven years now. He is sweet, compassionate, always puts me first and is the best friend and romantic partner I could ever wish for.

My question is, is two years too soon to know that I want to spend my life with him? We have discussed getting married and we would both like to, but I have heard countless stories about couples divorcing because they didn't wait long enough before getting married, and I don't want to be one of those people. Please help. -- LOVING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR LOVING: In many cases, two years is long enough for a couple to meet, know they are compatible, become engaged and marry. Having known this man for a total of seven years, I would like to think that you have had a chance to observe him in many situations and possibly in other relationships. I would hope that you have both dated others and gained some experience.

What concerns me is that you felt the need to write and ask me this question, because it makes me wonder if you are completely convinced that your marriage would last forever. Premarital counseling might put your mind at ease, and that's what I recommend.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for two years. He keeps asking about a tattoo I have on my ankle and making fun of it. The tattoo is small and has my initials, or so I tell him. I think he knows I'm lying. A guy I dated had the same initials and we got matching tattoos, but I have never admitted it to my husband. Am I lying? Should I tell him whose initials those really are? -- INITIALLY CONFUSED

DEAR INITIALLY CONFUSED: Many people today have tattoos, and some of them include the names or initials of former boyfriends, girlfriends and spouses. You should have fessed up at the time you were being married. The problem with lying about something as trivial as this is that it makes one wonder what else you would lie about.

I see several possible solutions: First, tell your husband the truth. The second would be to have the tattoo removed. The third would be to add your married initial to the ones already on your ankle, at which point they WILL be your initials and yours alone -- unless you're still using your maiden name.

DEAR ABBY: I have noticed that you often tell people to talk to a spiritual adviser. As an agnostic, I am curious whom you would recommend I speak to. -- RICK IN DENVER

DEAR RICK: In a case like yours, talk to someone who is not personally or emotionally involved with you, such as a licensed counselor.

DEAR ABBY: My husband travels frequently with a work crew. It is not unusual for them to be gone for months at a time. During these absences, some of the married men on this crew cheat on their wives, who are at home with their children.

I feel guilty knowing they are cheating. I don't want them bringing home any sexually transmitted diseases to their unsuspecting spouses. My husband says I should stay out of it because it's not my business, but I feel bad saying nothing.

Should I speak to the wives? I have seen the cheating firsthand, so I'm certain it is happening. I would want to know if it were me. -- TORN IN THE NORTHEAST

DEAR TORN: You have a moral dilemma, one that I can't decide for you. It is extremely important that you talk further with your husband about this. While I respect your motivation to disclose what you have seen to the wives, before doing anything you must carefully consider what the consequences could be. If you do what you are contemplating, your husband is sure to be ostracized by his co-workers. He could lose his job, and you your marriage.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 14-year-old girl with two younger brothers. They fight all the time, which I understand is normal. The problem is, my dad favors my youngest brother. If there's a conflict between my brothers, he always punishes the oldest whether he deserves it or not. I have come to realize this is because of my dad's own bad relationship with his older brother and that this is his way of getting revenge.

It's taking a toll on my brother emotionally because he already struggles with school and sports. I'm afraid he will become depressed. My mom will never speak up about it, and when I do, despite my good relationship with my dad, he punishes me. Sometimes I'm afraid he'll become violent. I feel boxed in, Abby. Please help. -- STUCK SISTER

DEAR SISTER: You're a brave girl, and I'm glad you wrote. Regardless of how dysfunctional your father's relationship may have been with his older brother, it does not give him the right to abuse your brother. Your mother may be afraid of your father or she would have put a stop to it years ago.

You say you are afraid your father will become violent with you, which suggests that you have seen it happen to other family members. If you try to discuss this further with your dad, you might be at risk for violence.

It's important that you find an adult you trust who can intervene on your brother's behalf -- a teacher, a relative or even a neighbor. Another strong male may be what it takes to protect your brother.

P.S. If this doesn't solve the problem, please write to me again and let me know.