DEAR ABBY: I was married to my husband for 15 years and we have a set of preteen twins. After he was arrested and put in prison for possession of child pornography, I divorced him. After much counseling, it was determined that he had not hurt our children.

He will be released soon, and I don't want to see him. However, my twins do want to see their father. He is not allowed unsupervised visits, and I don't trust his family to watch him closely. Must I suck it up and let him visit with me present for our children's sake, or would it be better to cut ties completely and let him fight with the courts? -- ANGRY AND DISGUSTED

DEAR ANGRY AND DISGUSTED: Are there any relatives from your side of the family who would be willing to be present? If there are, that might be a solution. However, if there aren't, this is something you should discuss with a lawyer because the courts sometimes provide individuals who can supervise visitation.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I moved to Maryland from Florida to be closer to my mom because my dad passed away last March. Since we've been here, my husband has been acting strange. He seems super stressed out, and he is hanging out with people I don't know and staying out until all hours of the night. I'm worried that I may have done something wrong that is causing him to act like this. Please help. -- CONCERNED IN THE EAST

DEAR CONCERNED: When couples marry, they usually socialize together, not separately. It is far more likely that your husband is doing something wrong "that is causing him to act like this" than anything you have done. Your husband may have fallen in with a crowd of singles, drinkers -- or heaven knows what. It's time to have a frank talk with him and get to the bottom of what's going on, because something definitely is.

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem with a friend I play golf with twice a week. We are part of a group of 12 retired men, and one golfer is an extremely slow player. By slow, I mean taking a long time between golf shots, checking yardages and taking numerous practice swings before playing. Meanwhile, the rest of us are waiting for him, and we feel pressured to make up the time so our group doesn't fall behind on the course.

We have all mentioned it to him, but it seems to roll off his back. It is getting to the point that no one wants to play in his foursome. What's the best way to handle this? -- SLOW BURN IN AUGUSTA

DEAR SLOW BURN: It is unfair to the group for one player to create this kind of problem for the other 11. Since talking to him about it has had no effect, the person closest to him should speak to him privately and point out that his slow play is creating stress for everyone, and he should either eliminate the problem or play with a different group of golfers.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is very political, and around election time he becomes engrossed in news shows. He has a habit of showing his favorite political news clips to friends when they visit.

I am uncomfortable with this, as I feel our friends are too polite to decline, and they allow my husband to preach politics to them out of courtesy to the host. They are like-minded, politically speaking, and the few who aren't are not going to be swayed by comedy news shows.

I excuse myself from the room when he begins his sermons. I have asked him to stop doing this when friends visit, but he refuses. How can I persuade him to just have "friends time" with no politics? -- POLITICALLY UNMOTIVATED

DEAR POLITICALLY UNMOTIVATED: You can't. You aren't going to change your husband. Fortunately, most of your friends are politically like-minded. Those who find his entertainment to be offensive will postpone seeing you until after the election is over. So stop stressing.

DEAR ABBY: Is it OK for a person who went to AA a few years ago and has gone totally alcohol-free, to start having a beer every other night or even keep a bottle of vodka around to have every now and then? Or should you stay alcohol-free to be sure that this issue doesn't happen again? -- ALCOHOL-FREE

DEAR ALCOHOL-FREE: For some individuals it may be possible to have an occasional drink without falling completely off the wagon, but I wouldn't recommend it. And as to keeping a bottle of vodka around to nip into "every now and then," I think that makes as much sense as keeping a box of chocolates in the house if someone is addicted to sweets. (And many of us are!)

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law wants to choose the gifts we give them. She doesn't have enough manners to smile, accept a gift and say "thank you" as we were raised to do. She told us, "All those educational toys you gave my son, I donated them!" I have donated much of what she has given us, but I would never tell her that.

She's now ordering toys and having them delivered to our home for us to wrap and give to her son. I had already bought a kaleidoscope, books, racetrack and a huge jar of little cars to use as rewards since he's 4 and still not potty-trained. She sent us a thank-you note (the first one ever) for the gifts they sent us to give my nephew, but did not mention the eight items I bought! Please help me cope with this extremely rude sister-in-law. -- TRYING TO COPE IN TEXAS

DEAR TRYING: I'll try. As I see it, you have two choices: The first is to decide to "go along with the program." The second would be to tell her she has taken all the joy out of gift-giving and, in the future, you will not be participating in the charade.

DEAR ABBY: Four years ago, after three years of marriage, I had a brief affair and was caught by my husband, who is a doctor. We had little girls, so he decided not to divorce me, but I had to cut my long hair short in a man's style and stop wearing makeup or jewelry except for my wedding ring. He donated all my designer clothes, and bought me men's clothes. I have begged him to let me wear women's clothes again and allow me to wear even a short woman's hairstyle, but he refuses.

Our two daughters are old enough now to notice, and they are a little embarrassed by how Mommy dresses. I no longer have any desire for an affair, but simply want to look attractive. I was a beauty queen in college, but now even my female friends think dressing like this is my idea. Sometimes I feel so embarrassed in public that I want to hide. What do you suggest I try to get him to let me wear my hair long and women's clothes again? -- WANTS TO BE ME AGAIN

DEAR WANTS TO BE YOU: I hope you are aware that what your husband has been doing is considered emotional abuse. What you did was wrong, but you should not have to spend the rest of your life looking like a man if you don't want to.

To say that your husband is controlling would be an understatement. Because you need more help than anyone can give you in a letter, I'm urging you to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline. The website is thehotline.org; the toll-free phone number is 800-799-7233. Please don't put this off.

DEAR ABBY: I am 64 and still a virgin. I now feel I haven't done all the things I wanted to do with my life, and I realize I won't live forever. When I see young kids having fun, I regret wasting my younger years.

The biggest issue I have is with being a virgin. I have always believed in true love, but I still haven't met anyone. I have been going to bars and have multiple accounts on dating websites, but no men close to my age have been interested.

A young man who is 39 has asked to meet up. Should I go on a date with him and see what happens? I know it's wrong, but I think maybe with a younger guy I could do all the things I wanted to do. What should I do? Please help. -- PRUDENCE THE VIRGIN

DEAR PRUDENCE: Think carefully about what it is you really want. If you go on that date, the chances are that you will succeed in losing your virginity. But don't count on anything more than that happening.

I'm unclear about what you mean by "doing all the things you wanted to do," but true love takes time and commitment to develop, and rushing to catch up on all the things you think you have missed is no guarantee you will find it.

DEAR ABBY: I'm new in the business world and I have a question. At networking events, how do I politely excuse myself from a conversation when I encounter a "Stage 1" clinger? -- TRAPPED AGAIN IN TORONTO

DEAR TRAPPED AGAIN: Because at networking events it's important to make as many contacts as possible, you should say, "It's been nice meeting you, but please excuse me because I have to circulate, and so should you."