DEAR ABBY: I'm a 13-year-old girl in the eighth grade. I moved in with my father and his girlfriend five months ago. (My mom is estranged.)

They are very strict and controlling. I'm not allowed to go anywhere, have friends over or be in my room with my phone for any amount of time, and I have to do all the chores in the summertime. They also go through my phone even though they have no reason to.

They post embarrassing pictures of me under my Facebook account, take my phone away constantly (so I can't talk to my friends who live far away), force me to play softball (that's a big one), which I hate, etc. My privacy is nonexistent, especially considering how I used to live before. I feel like I have no independence.

I know I can be disrespectful at times, but I don't get into trouble and I don't understand why they act like they do. I'm really stressed out. In the past I have gotten so upset I cut myself on the wrist, and I have drunk liquid pain medicine. (I know it was stupid.) But sometimes I seriously think about killing myself. So, what should I do, Abby? -- IT'S UNFAIR IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR UNFAIR: What you should do -- and right away -- is talk to a counselor at school and tell that person everything you have told me. I don't know your father and his girlfriend, what conditions you were living under previously, or why you are being treated the way you are. But if you are so depressed that you are harming yourself or contemplating suicide, you need more help than I can give you here. I repeat, please don't wait.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend, whom I have been dating for more than a year, has isolated herself from me and all her friends because her makeup came off while she was in a hot tub and everyone saw her without it. She's insecure about her appearance and has worn heavy makeup every day since she was 12. When she went into the hot tub, the heat melted it off, and when she saw it was gone, she started crying and left the party early.

She hasn't talked to me or any of her friends since. Her brother said she was embarrassed about being seen without makeup and doesn't want to talk to anyone. It has been two weeks since I last spoke to her, and she hasn't even talked to her sister in more than a week. I don't know what I should do. -- HOT TUB MELTDOWN

DEAR HOT TUB MELTDOWN: Assuming that your girlfriend isn't an actress, model or other celebrity who must be camera-ready at every moment, she seems overly preoccupied with her appearance. Unless she has an unsightly skin condition she's self-conscious about, her extreme overreaction isn't normal. If she is a minor, her parents should be told what's going on so they can get her some psychological help, because she appears to need it. If she's an adult, then the person who should urge her to do so is you.

DEAR ABBY: I was married to my husband for 15 years and we have a set of preteen twins. After he was arrested and put in prison for possession of child pornography, I divorced him. After much counseling, it was determined that he had not hurt our children.

He will be released soon, and I don't want to see him. However, my twins do want to see their father. He is not allowed unsupervised visits, and I don't trust his family to watch him closely. Must I suck it up and let him visit with me present for our children's sake, or would it be better to cut ties completely and let him fight with the courts? -- ANGRY AND DISGUSTED

DEAR ANGRY AND DISGUSTED: Are there any relatives from your side of the family who would be willing to be present? If there are, that might be a solution. However, if there aren't, this is something you should discuss with a lawyer because the courts sometimes provide individuals who can supervise visitation.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I moved to Maryland from Florida to be closer to my mom because my dad passed away last March. Since we've been here, my husband has been acting strange. He seems super stressed out, and he is hanging out with people I don't know and staying out until all hours of the night. I'm worried that I may have done something wrong that is causing him to act like this. Please help. -- CONCERNED IN THE EAST

DEAR CONCERNED: When couples marry, they usually socialize together, not separately. It is far more likely that your husband is doing something wrong "that is causing him to act like this" than anything you have done. Your husband may have fallen in with a crowd of singles, drinkers -- or heaven knows what. It's time to have a frank talk with him and get to the bottom of what's going on, because something definitely is.

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem with a friend I play golf with twice a week. We are part of a group of 12 retired men, and one golfer is an extremely slow player. By slow, I mean taking a long time between golf shots, checking yardages and taking numerous practice swings before playing. Meanwhile, the rest of us are waiting for him, and we feel pressured to make up the time so our group doesn't fall behind on the course.

We have all mentioned it to him, but it seems to roll off his back. It is getting to the point that no one wants to play in his foursome. What's the best way to handle this? -- SLOW BURN IN AUGUSTA

DEAR SLOW BURN: It is unfair to the group for one player to create this kind of problem for the other 11. Since talking to him about it has had no effect, the person closest to him should speak to him privately and point out that his slow play is creating stress for everyone, and he should either eliminate the problem or play with a different group of golfers.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is very political, and around election time he becomes engrossed in news shows. He has a habit of showing his favorite political news clips to friends when they visit.

I am uncomfortable with this, as I feel our friends are too polite to decline, and they allow my husband to preach politics to them out of courtesy to the host. They are like-minded, politically speaking, and the few who aren't are not going to be swayed by comedy news shows.

I excuse myself from the room when he begins his sermons. I have asked him to stop doing this when friends visit, but he refuses. How can I persuade him to just have "friends time" with no politics? -- POLITICALLY UNMOTIVATED

DEAR POLITICALLY UNMOTIVATED: You can't. You aren't going to change your husband. Fortunately, most of your friends are politically like-minded. Those who find his entertainment to be offensive will postpone seeing you until after the election is over. So stop stressing.

DEAR ABBY: Is it OK for a person who went to AA a few years ago and has gone totally alcohol-free, to start having a beer every other night or even keep a bottle of vodka around to have every now and then? Or should you stay alcohol-free to be sure that this issue doesn't happen again? -- ALCOHOL-FREE

DEAR ALCOHOL-FREE: For some individuals it may be possible to have an occasional drink without falling completely off the wagon, but I wouldn't recommend it. And as to keeping a bottle of vodka around to nip into "every now and then," I think that makes as much sense as keeping a box of chocolates in the house if someone is addicted to sweets. (And many of us are!)

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law wants to choose the gifts we give them. She doesn't have enough manners to smile, accept a gift and say "thank you" as we were raised to do. She told us, "All those educational toys you gave my son, I donated them!" I have donated much of what she has given us, but I would never tell her that.

She's now ordering toys and having them delivered to our home for us to wrap and give to her son. I had already bought a kaleidoscope, books, racetrack and a huge jar of little cars to use as rewards since he's 4 and still not potty-trained. She sent us a thank-you note (the first one ever) for the gifts they sent us to give my nephew, but did not mention the eight items I bought! Please help me cope with this extremely rude sister-in-law. -- TRYING TO COPE IN TEXAS

DEAR TRYING: I'll try. As I see it, you have two choices: The first is to decide to "go along with the program." The second would be to tell her she has taken all the joy out of gift-giving and, in the future, you will not be participating in the charade.