DEAR ABBY: I'm a lesbian currently dating a woman who is still in the closet. She now identifies as bisexual. We have been dating for about a year.

The issue is that she is still in contact with a lot of her ex-boyfriends. I don't expect her to come out of the closet on my time. However, I do have a problem with her talking to ex-boyfriends when they don't know she's in a relationship. She thinks I'm overreacting. However, she has admitted that she'd have a problem with me talking to exes and not bringing up the fact I'm in a relationship.

She has finally admitted that I am a friend and introduced me to her family and one other friend. It took a lot of work to get that far. I am demanding that she acknowledge -- at the very least -- that she is in a relationship. I'm not demanding she tell them it's with a girl. I don't want to date someone who is ashamed of me.

Most of the time when she talks to an ex, new romantic interests don't seem to come up. I would prefer that she tell them right away, although she argues it isn't the right time to randomly bring it up in a conversation. I no longer trust her to care more about my feelings than her interests. Should I say goodbye to this one? -- DATING IN SILENCE

DEAR DATING IN SILENCE: Yes. If, after a year of dating, your girlfriend is still hiding your relationship, I think that's exactly what you should do. LGBT people come out in their own way, in their own time. If this difference in where the two of you are is a deal-breaker, you should move on and find someone more compatible.

DEAR ABBY: For the last seven years I have been in a long-distance relationship. I see him every three months. He is divorced and a workaholic. I love him very much, and he says he also loves me.

I had put a tattoo of his name on my hip. This time when he visited, I showed it to him. When I did, he was shocked. He said he was flattered, but thought it was "a bit much." Then he said he would never tattoo someone's name on himself unless he first asked permission.

I told him that I really love him, and even if something happened and we broke up for some reason that it was all right. I said I am 60 years old, and it was my body and my decision, and that I did it for myself because I will never love another man the way I love him.

Abby, do you think I should have asked him first? Do you think maybe he doesn't love me as much as he says he does? Please help me understand this. -- TATTOO IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR TATTOO: You are an adult, and at age 60 you should not have to ask anyone's permission to get a tattoo. If, after seven years, you see this man only every three months, it should be plain by now that he's not interested in a closer relationship.

Most men would be flattered that you got the tattoo, unless they were afraid it might somehow reveal that you are lovers. Are you absolutely sure this man is divorced? Your situation is so peculiar that it's time you did some double-checking. Better late than never.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 20-year-old college student and have had a job at the same retail store for two years. A few weeks ago, a mother walked in holding a baby that appeared to be about 6 months old. The first thing I noticed was that he had numerous bruises. There were pronounced bruises under both eyes, another large one on his temple, and several more visible on his arms and legs.

I have heard horror stories about parents whose infants have a medical condition that causes them to bruise easily, but the parents are accused of child abuse. This mother seemed attentive to her baby, and I saw nothing in her behavior to make me think her child was in any danger. I didn't say anything, but I keep wondering if I should have called the police or informed my manager.

I've been telling myself that there may have been an innocent explanation for the child's injuries, but I don't know if I screwed up. I didn't want to meddle, and now I'm worried the baby might be suffering because I didn't speak up. Any advice on what I should have done/should do in the future would be appreciated. -- SECOND THOUGHTS IN KANSAS

DEAR SECOND THOUGHTS: Because you were unsure about what to do, you should have written down the woman's license number, if possible, and alerted the store manager so the matter could be handled according to store policy.

However, if no policy is in place, you could have contacted Childhelp.org for guidance. It offers prevention, intervention and treatment programs and has helped more than 10 million children at risk or in trouble. Childhelp.org has a national toll-free hotline: 800-422-4453.

DEAR ABBY: What is the protocol for divorced parents paying for the rehearsal dinner for their son who is getting married? My ex-wife expects me to pay for a significantly bigger portion of the expenses, yet at the time of our divorce she insisted on splitting the assets 50/50.

My opinion is that because we are equal in the parenting, we should divide the expenses 50/50. I'm willing to concede to her some credit IF she does a significant amount of work and planning (over and above my own), but this should be negotiated ahead of time. We are both employed and have good incomes. We are both remarried and our spouses work. What's your take on this, Abby? -- RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE

DEAR DOWN THE MIDDLE: The parents of the groom traditionally bear the cost of the rehearsal dinner. Because you and your son's mother are divorced, she should pay for half -- unless there is such a disparity in your incomes that it would cause her financial stress. If your ex needs "credit," then by all means discuss it with her. This is a time to put aside old grievances and celebrate, if only for the sake of your son.

DEAR ABBY: What do you think of the idea that when you have a decision to make and it's between your head and your heart, to choose your head? We are currently trying to find a place to live after my husband retires, and we are having a difficult time trying to decide on a house. It's tough to say no to a place that your heart loves. -- INDECISIVE IN NEW YORK

DEAR INDECISIVE: I'm sure it is. However, investing in a house is different than adopting a puppy. When making a decision that will have financial consequences -- such as buying a house -- you will have fewer regrets if you think with your head.

DEAR ABBY: I am a college student on the East Coast. A dear friend of mine who attends the same university goes home on break to the West Coast.

She was raped at a party. Over the summer break she found out she was pregnant and had an abortion. She's now suffering from some intense emotional and psychological problems and sees a campus therapist.

Abby, I want to be supportive, but I'm not sure how. I don't know what to say around her or how to keep her mind off it, or if I should. Can you help me? -- CONCERNED FRIEND

DEAR CONCERNED FRIEND: You are this young woman's friend. Let her know you are there for her. Treat her as you always have and talk about the things you always have with her. It is not your job to distract her from thinking about what happened to her.

If she wants to talk about it, be prepared to listen and sympathize. But if she needs more than that, remind her that she has a licensed therapist who is more qualified to help than you are, and encourage her to contact the person if something is dragging her down.

DEAR ABBY: I've had three different secretarial jobs over the last 10 years. At two of them something has happened, and I'm hoping you can help me deal with the situation.

While at my desk, I've had bosses who enter my office, come around to my side of the desk and stand very close to me. Sometimes they'll even start keying things into my computer -- all without asking. It feels like an invasion of my personal space.

I wouldn't do that to them. Why do they feel they can do this to me? Or am I making too much of the whole thing? Please help. -- SILENT SECRETARY IN TEXAS

DEAR SILENT: Different people have different boundaries when it comes to personal space. Because having someone come around your desk and stand close to you without permission makes you nervous, speak to your boss about it.

That someone would reach over you to type something into a document you are working on seems to me to be rude, but your employer may have been trying to add something or correct errors, and thought it would be a faster way of getting the job done than trying to explain it to you.

It might reassure you to discuss this with some of the other secretaries, ask if this is common and whether it bothers them, and let them advise you.

DEAR ABBY: I know food is often described as "finger-lickin' good," but I'm appalled at the number of people who literally do this at restaurants. Didn't they ever learn to use a napkin? What's next -- licking each other's fingers? Can you comment? -- MANNERLY OUT WEST

DEAR MANNERLY: I will ignore the temptation to give a naughty answer and offer a nugget of advice. Now that you know not everyone has table manners that measure up to your own -- or even most folks' -- do less people-watching in restaurants or eat at home.