DEAR ABBY: I'm 19, and for the past year I have been out of my parents' house (at last!). I'm realizing now that the years I spent with Mom and Dad were different than other people's. My parents weren't physically abusive, but they were mentally and emotionally abusive, and it has scarred me in some ways. Because I was never allowed to speak my mind, I shut down if anybody raises his or her voice to me.

When I was growing up, they used exercise as a punishment. If my brothers or I were late, it was 10 pushups. They also forced us to go through exercise programs. Naturally, as soon as I was free from them, I stopped exercising altogether.

I now realize I need to exercise again as I am technically obese, and I need to lose the weight while I'm still young. My problem is, I'm not motivated. I tell myself I'll go out and run, signed up for a gym -- even got a running buddy. But I find myself making excuses and tricking myself out of going. What are some ways I can help myself mentally so I can get going on this ever-growing problem? -- CHUBBY IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CHUBBY: Your parents may have meant well when they insisted that you and your siblings get involved in exercise programs, but they were wrong to use exercise as a punishment.

While I can see why you now view exercise that way, its benefits are more far-reaching than weight loss. Being physically active benefits your heart and brain, and in addition, can be an effective stress reducer. It doesn't necessarily have to be running. Perhaps tennis, bowling or dancing would be more enjoyable for you.

"Tricking" yourself can work two ways, but while I don't advise tricking yourself to make yourself get off the couch, I think the adage "the way to get out of a jam is not to get into one in the first place" applies here. Some suggestions:

When you get out of bed in the morning, have your exercise clothes already laid out. Instead of reading or listening to the news, put them on immediately. Then eat some protein to boost your energy, and go out and do what you need to do.

Don't expect to run a marathon immediately. Start slowly and remember that stamina isn't built overnight. Eventually, you will establish a routine -- like brushing your teeth.

I won't lie to you. It takes discipline. But now that you have "escaped" from your parents, YOU have to be your OWN parent, so it's up to you not to let yourself be lazy.

P.S. When you're on your way out the door, thank your higher power that you are able to do exercise because many people are not so fortunate. And if you catch yourself slacking off after trying what I have suggested, then consider consulting a licensed mental health professional to overcome your aversion to exercise.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 46-year-old drug user. I have been addicted for more than 20 years. I know it's wrong. I know I can be a better person. I got hooked when a supposed friend introduced me to crack in 1992. If I could only go back to that day, I'd kick the you-know-what out of him. I was all set to make something of my life.

In 2010, my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer. It only got worse. I have hurt the people I care about the most. I have stolen from my mom. I have written checks on her bank account and pawned her jewelry. I don't know what to do.

I know I'm depressed since Dad died. I'm also disabled and on disability. I pretty much kept everything in check until 2001 when I lost the job I'd held for 17 years. I have drifted from job to job ever since.

So there it is. I have developed COPD. I'm on oxygen full time and can't work. I ask myself why I'm suddenly doing three and four times more than I've ever done. Do you think I'm that depressed? That I'm trying to speed my own death? I'm at a loss and need some guidance. I contemplate suicide daily, but I guess I'm too much of a coward. Can you help me? -- END OF MY ROPE IN FLORIDA

DEAR END OF YOUR ROPE: At this point, the only person who can help you is yourself. The problem with using drugs is that after a period of time, the body builds up a tolerance, and it takes more and more of them to achieve a high. This may be why your use has increased the way it has.

Because programs to help people break their drug habit usually cost money -- which you don't have -- go to www.na.org to find the location of the nearest Narcotics Anonymous meeting. As you may already know, NA is a fellowship in which addicts help each other to get off and stay off drugs. Please give it a try because it could save your life.

DEAR ABBY: My friend Bryan and I were at a sports bar watching a football game. We had ordered a large pizza, but had time for only one slice before we had to leave. I wanted to offer the remaining pizza to a group of college-age students sitting at a nearby table. Bryan was horrified and insisted we just leave. He said to offer the pizza would be insulting.

When I pointed out that another couple had once given us a half-filled bottle of champagne (they were heading to the theater), we accepted and appreciated it. He said that was different. What do you think? -- TRYING TO BE NICE IN L.A.

DEAR TRYING TO BE NICE: I think you're a nicer person than your friend Bryan. If the crowd at the next table was insulted, they could have refused your generous offer. Bryan may have nixed the idea because he didn't think of it first.

DEAR VETERANS: I salute you for your service to this country. My thanks to each of you, as well as to the brave men and women who are still on active duty. You are the personification of patriotism and self-sacrifice for your dedication to our country. -- ABBY

DEAR ABBY: My husband was recently offered a new job that carries with it a significant increase in salary as well as upward mobility. He was offered the job by a woman he used to work with years ago. She will be his new boss.

It was recently brought to my attention that not only were they co-workers, they also used to sleep together. He tells me there's absolutely nothing there, and that I don't need to be worried. However, I can't help but wonder why they have maintained contact for all these years, and why she sought him out to work for her.

She is also married, and I wonder if her husband knows their history, and if he would be OK with his wife's request to work with a former lover.

Am I overreacting? Or should people cut off contact with their exes once they are married? Should I be worried about a physical or emotional affair? I just don't have a good feeling about this. Thank you for your help. -- NEEDS AN OBJECTIVE OPINION

DEAR NEEDS: In a situation like this, much depends upon the individuals involved and the circumstances of the breakup. Not all romances end acrimoniously. Sometimes they gradually diminish and the people involved move on.

It would be interesting to know who told you your husband and this woman were once lovers. If it was your husband, I think you have less to be concerned about than if it was someone "trying to be helpful." It is possible that the woman contacted your husband because she is familiar with his work ethic and his abilities and thinks he would be the best person for the job.

That said, however, there are four people involved in this situation. And your question about whether her husband is aware of their history is a good one, because he should be.

DEAR ABBY: I have a suggestion for your readers who take prescription medication. When they are finished with it, they should peel the label off the bottle, stick it to a piece of paper and send it through a shredder.

These labels contain a lot of personal information. If they fall into the wrong hands, they could become shopping lists for drug addicts and our landfills could become their next source. Better to be safe than sorry, if for no other reason than privacy. -- CHET IN KENTUCKY

DEAR CHET: I agree!