DEAR ABBY: I'm a freshman in college, blessed to have an internship in the office of a nonprofit organization. As time goes by, and as trust is built, I am being given more responsibilities. One of them is writing letters for various purposes -- thank-you letters, invitations, congratulatory letters, etc.

When I was in high school, I was never taught the format for how to write these kinds of letters. I get confused about spacing and how to address people with titles. It's a shame that technology has left my generation so clueless on how to do important stuff. Is there a resource for letter writing available from you? I need it because I feel awkward always having to ask other staff members. -- CLUELESS INTERN IN ALGONQUIN, ILL.

DEAR INTERN: Judging from the high volume of mail I receive, letter composition is something that many people besides you struggle with. I publish a booklet called "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," and among the topics it covers are how to address a senator, member of Congress, clergyperson, etc. It can be ordered by sending your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds), to Dear Abby Letters Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. Keep it in your desk drawer and dip into it as needed. My letters booklet also contains helpful suggestions for writing letters of congratulations, and letters about difficult subjects to address, such as letters of condolence for the loss of a parent, spouse or child, as well as warm thank-you notes for birthday, shower, wedding and holiday gifts.

My letters booklet provides an assist for anyone who needs a quick and easy tutorial. It has also proven to be particularly helpful for parents to use as a way to easily teach children how to write using proper etiquette.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. I love him deeply, but I have lied to him about certain things. I feel guilty about it, but I can't bring myself to tell him the truth because he has a temper.

One lie I told was that I was laid off from my previous job, but I really quit. He didn't want me quitting, but I did it for my own good. I was having a nervous breakdown, and all I felt were negative thoughts when I worked there. Although I found a better job months later, I never summoned up the courage to tell him the truth.

We don't live together. I'm 24 and he's 26. Do you think this lack of communication is a reason to break up, or am I being too sensitive about his temper? He doesn't abuse me, but he won't talk to me if he doesn't have things his way. -- UNSURE IN THE WEST

DEAR UNSURE: I'm glad you're not living together because if you were, your problem would have serious ramifications. Your boyfriend may not be physically abusive, but he IS controlling. Subjecting you to the silent treatment is emotionally abusive, and so was deciding "for" you that you should remain at a job that's stressful and unpleasant.

You may love this man deeply, but from my perspective the relationship isn't a healthy one. If you want to end it, you are justified.

DEAR ABBY: My older brother and son live with me. We are all adults, so we don't need to ask each other's permission before one of us leaves the house. Out of courtesy, I let them know where I'm going, who I'll be with, and if I am likely to be out late. When I'm out, if I realize that I'll be gone later than I thought, I text them. To me, this is common courtesy.

My brother and son say goodbye when they leave, but rarely volunteer any information about their plans. I hate to ask, because they are adults and it's none of my business, but it just seems rude. I'm often startled when they come home late and I am awakened, until I know it's them and not someone breaking in. If I wake up and they aren't home, I worry. Am I right to expect them to tell me where they are going and if they will be late? -- ANNOYED SISTER

DEAR ANNOYED: To expect to be told where your older brother and adult son are going and with whom seems like a lot of information to demand. However, being informed what time they will be back so you won't think someone is breaking in not only would be thoughtful but also practical.

DEAR ABBY: I suffer from severe seasonal allergies. I have watery eyes and sneeze during January and February every year. I went to an allergist last winter, but he couldn't do much for me.

As I struggle to get through my days as quietly as possible, every sneeze seemingly elicits a "God bless you" from some stranger. If I'm unable to acknowledge it, I often get a "Well, thank you!" or some other show of indignation.

Abby, I don't need "blessings." Calling attention to my difficulties, frankly, just annoys and embarrasses me. I am trying the best I can to be quiet and avoid disruption. Can you please ask your many readers to end this ancient, silly convention and let those of us with allergies suffer in peace? -- ATCHOO IN KANSAS CITY

DEAR ATCHOO: No. The "God bless you" convention originated in the Middle Ages. People thought that when someone sneezed the soul left the body for a minute, and would be snatched by the devil if someone didn't say "God bless you." Those who say it today may be doing it because it has become a conditioned reflex, or to be polite. Accept the kind gesture and kwitchurbitchin.

DEAR ABBY: After becoming engaged recently, I was excited to ask my best friend to be my bridesmaid. However, her husband can't stand the thought of her getting dolled up and walking down the aisle after the ceremony with another man.

I want to be respectful, but this just seems over the top. Their daughters will be flower girls. I don't understand why this is an issue. Would it be best for her to just attend the wedding? This is breaking my heart. What's a bride to do? -- RESPECTFUL IN KENTUCKY

DEAR RESPECTFUL: Your friend's husband appears to be insecure and controlling. Your next move should be to ask your friend how she plans to handle this -- so that she and the girls can be replaced if necessary.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance, "Allen," and I have dated for almost three years and have been living together for three months. When we met, he had been divorced for more than two years. Allen has a 13-year-old son and a 19-year-old daughter. His kids learned about me after we had dated a year. His daughter, "Jen," attends college out of state. When she visits home, she stays only with her mom.

Last summer, Allen and I decided to buy a house together, found the perfect one, and went to make an offer when Jen stepped in and said if we lived together before August, after she returned to school, she wouldn't have anything to do with him. He told me I couldn't live with him until August.

I was devastated, but I didn't have a choice. Now we have a house together, Jen said she wants to spend time on Thanksgiving here at the house without me or my kids. She cried to her dad, saying if he doesn't do this he's excluding her and choosing my kids and me over her.

This will be my first holiday with my fiance, and I was really looking forward to it. We were having friends and family over. But now, because of her request, he wants me to leave for a few hours in the morning.

I'm torn. I feel like her behavior is extremely rude and he shouldn't give in to her, but she said she'll only see him under these conditions. Do I leave my house for a few hours on Thanksgiving, or tell her she's welcome but the kids and I are staying in our own home? -- DISRESPECTED OUT WEST

DEAR DISRESPECTED: It's time for you and Allen to have a serious discussion. Jen's demand is unreasonable. Have you set a wedding date yet? Does he plan to allow his daughter to control both of you once you are married?

You and your children should not have to vacate your home in order for her to visit with her father. Jen is an adult, and if she prefers to avoid the reality of your existence, it's her choice. Her father could visit with her elsewhere the day before or after Thanksgiving.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 17, and a friend of mine who lives out of state, "Jane," has just told me she has dissociative identity disorder (formerly known as multiple personality disorder). I don't know how I should behave around her now because large parts of our history have correlated to her various identities. Some have come onto me, but others seemed to hate me.

Do you know where I can find help for dealing with a person afflicted by this? She doesn't want to tell her psychiatrist, and so far, only I and another friend know about this. -- WORRIED HOW TO BEHAVE

DEAR WORRIED: If your friend's psychiatrist doesn't know that she has dissociative identity disorder, I would hesitate to accept her self-diagnosis and so should you. The kindest thing you can do for her would be to urge her to fully disclose any symptoms she's been experiencing to her doctor, because if what you have written is accurate, she has not been doing that. Other than that, treat her as you always have, but do not allow her to abuse you.