DEAR ABBY: I recently got my husband back in touch with "Scott," his best friend from adolescence and college. My husband's ex had kept them apart, so this rekindling is extra special and appreciated. I don't want to do anything that would jeopardize it. But Scott's wife makes me very uncomfortable.

She is quiet, reserved, but very manipulative. Neither she nor her husband are drinkers, but she insists on bringing a gift of some form of alcohol every time we see them, which is about once a month.

Abby, I am a recovering alcoholic. I have worked hard for my 11 years of sobriety, and continue to work hard at it every day. Firm, but polite requests I have made to her have fallen upon deaf ears. Speaking to Scott hasn't helped either, because he doesn't stand up to her. My husband also hasn't been able to get through.

He and Scott tell me to accept the gift and throw it away, or give it to another friend. But with addiction, it isn't that easy. I have resorted to inventing excuses not to see them, but I don't like feeling this way.

I believe she gives gifts because it makes her feel good, but at what point does my extreme discomfort trump her happiness? What can I do to get her to understand without ruining this relationship? -- IN A DELICATE SITUATION

DEAR DELICATE: Have you told Scott's wife that you are a recovering alcoholic? If you have, and she persists in gifting you with liquor when they come over, she is attempting to challenge your recovery. (Could her behavior be the reason your husband's former wife kept them apart?)

Your husband's rekindled friendship with Scott would not be ruined if he sees him on a one-to-one basis rather than the four of you socializing as couples. And if the clueless wife hands you another bottle of booze, that's what you should insist upon.

DEAR ABBY: I have been talking to someone I know is a genuine person, someone who has all the qualities I would want in a lifelong partner. However, I am still in love with my ex.

My ex has moved on but still contacts me, and we do deeply care about each other. I'm afraid if I decide to move forward, I'll always second-guess whether or not I did it for the right reasons. I'm afraid that because of my feelings for my ex, I won't be able to open up to anyone. I also know we would have many issues to resolve if we ever decided to give it another chance.

I guess I'm afraid to let go and afraid to move forward. What should I do? -- EQUALLY TORN IN THE WEST

DEAR EQUALLY TORN: Move forward as your ex has. And while you are at it, put more distance between the two of you. Whether the person you are talking to -- who seems to look good on paper -- is someone you'll wind up with is anybody's guess. So consider taking a break from romance for a while until you get your head straight. You're not there yet, but with time you will be.

DEAR ABBY: I am a new bride in my mid-20s. I'm writing about my dad.

At the wedding dinner, he read a list of reasons he "let" me get married. Granted, he thought it was funny, and he always needs to be the center of attention. But during our honeymoon abroad, he sent me messages at every juncture and each hotel.

Maybe he's having a hard time "letting go," but is this normal? Frankly, I found it creepy. My honeymoon was my and my new hubby's time to enjoy, and so much intrusion felt like stalking. I am not particularly close to Dad. Am I overreacting? -- NEWLYWED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR NEWLYWED: You stated that your father likes to be the center of attention. Your wedding dinner may have been yet another example of it.

A lot of humor is based on truth, and Dear Old Dad's thinking may be rooted in the 19th century or earlier, when women needed their father's permission to marry. That he would insert himself into your honeymoon does seem over the top for someone with whom you are not particularly close. If he persists, you and your husband should have a talk with him and tell him it's making the both of you uncomfortable and ask him to please stop.

DEAR ABBY: Many businesses these days outsource their customer service departments to phone centers in other countries where the person answering the phone speaks very little English or has a weak comprehension of the English language. Please don't get me wrong, they are polite, patient and try hard to be helpful, but many times it is difficult to get a question answered or an issue successfully dealt with because the person doesn't understand what you are saying or you are having trouble understanding.

Often I have spent much of my call asking the person to repeat him or herself, or repeating myself to them. Is there a polite way of saying, "Hey, get me someone who speaks English"? I have never said that, but I'm often tempted. Usually the call ends in frustration with unresolved issues. I don't want to be rude or hurt someone's feelings, but what do you do when business needs to be conducted? -- BONNIE IN MONTANA

DEAR BONNIE: If you call customer service and have trouble understanding the person you are speaking with or feel you are not being properly understood, either ask to talk to a supervisor or with someone whose first language is English. To do that isn't rude; it allows for the most productive use of your time as well as the person at the other end of the phone.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 22-year-old plus-sized female who is having trouble feeling beautiful. I have tried makeup, different outfits -- nothing seems to work. My boyfriend keeps telling me I'm beautiful, but it is not easy for me to see. What do you think I should do? -- SHATTERED MIRROR IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR SHATTERED: There's a saying that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. If your boyfriend keeps telling you that you are beautiful, then in HIS eyes you are. Because when you look in a mirror you only find fault with yourself, it appears that you don't like yourself much. Discuss this with a licensed psychotherapist to get to the bottom of it and learn to appreciate the beauty your boyfriend sees.

DEAR ABBY: I'm engaged to a wonderful man I have been with for five years. We plan to get married as soon as his house sells and we can move into another home as a family. He has three children; I have four. Our kids get along well enough, and no serious parenting issues have come up yet.

My concern is, he and his ex-wife haven't immunized their kids. I have. All four of my children are up to date with their shots. We have agreed to disagree on this subject.

With the kids living together under the same roof, is there anything I should worry about as far as kids getting sick? I have read somewhere that it isn't good to have kids who are immunized around those who aren't. Truth? -- WANTS THE FACTS IN INDIANA

DEAR WANTS THE FACTS: Have you discussed this with their doctors? If you go online and visit vaccines.gov, you will find a complete explanation of why vaccinations are so important and why parents should ensure that their children receive the optimum dose, which may involve two or more shots.

According to the Food and Drug Administration: "For reasons related to the individual, not all vaccinated persons develop immunity. Most routine childhood vaccines are effective for 85 to 95 percent of recipients." If your children happen to fall into the unfortunate 5 to 15 percent category of recipients who haven't developed full immunity, then you should be concerned.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law is a wonderful lady, but I'm having a hard time with how she is around my children. She is extremely obsessive over giving them baths, changing their diapers and, basically, just seeing them naked.

I have talked with my husband about it because I don't think it's appropriate. I want to discuss this with her, but he thinks it's no big deal because this is "just the way she is." How can I convey the seriousness of this issue? Or am I overreacting? -- JUST THE WAY SHE IS

DEAR JUST: I don't know your mother-in-law, so I can't judge her motivations. She was a mother before she became a grandmother, and it may be perfectly innocent. However, if something is going on that makes you uneasy, you must remember that, as your children's mother, you have a responsibility to put a stop to anything you do not feel is appropriate.

DEAR ABBY: My husband has a brother, "Tom," who is 10 years younger. He recently returned from college and is living with my in-laws. Tom has visited us a few times since his arrival. When he comes over, he doesn't bother to ring the doorbell or knock; he simply lets himself in.

I don't appreciate the lack of privacy in my own home. People should at least knock or yell hello from the doorway before barging in. When I told my husband it bothered me, he got upset and defensive and accused me of "picking on" his family. Am I making too much of this? -- DING DONG IN TEXAS

DEAR DING DONG: No, you're not. You didn't mention how long you and your husband have been married, but your home is not a bachelor pad that people drift in and out of. You are entitled to some privacy, and time to cover up if you are in a state of undress. That people ring the bell, knock on the door or yell to announce their presence is not too much to ask. In fact, it's considered good manners.

P.S. Keeping the door locked could help solve the problem.