DEAR ABBY: Earlier this year I moved away from home to move in with my boyfriend. We had been dating for more than a year and were close enough we could see each other whenever our schedules allowed. However, over the last few months I have been second-guessing that decision. I'm noticing things that I realize won't work.

To make matters more complicated, I met a girl who quickly became a good friend three months ago. She has inspired -- and in some ways pushed -- me to go back to college and improve my life. I find myself falling for her. The thing is, she just started dating someone, and I would never betray my partner by being unfaithful.

I don't know what to do. I can see my relationship with my boyfriend is not going to work out, and I know I'm not going to violate my female friend's relationship either. How does someone end a relationship when they live together? And how do I deal with the fear that I'll be miserable being on my own again, and the guilt of breaking my partner's heart? -- MIXED-UP GUY IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR MIXED-UP GUY: The first thing you need to do is recognize that being unencumbered can be a positive thing, particularly if you are not happy or satisfied with the relationship you are in. The adage "When a door closes, another one opens" is usually true.

Start looking around for alternative living arrangements, and when you find something that will work for you, explain to your boyfriend that you need to "make some changes." It's better for both of you than living a lie.

As to your relationship with the young woman, whether she stays with the person she's dating is something neither of us can predict. When you are single, she may become available. Or, you may meet someone else and start a relationship. Don't be afraid. These are the things that make life interesting.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together six years. This Christmas will be our second year as a married couple. On Christmas morning, my husband goes over to his parents' house to open gifts with his siblings. They are all adults; the oldest two are almost 40. (Both are single.) I'm not invited and have never been invited to their home, despite living five minutes away, because his mother is a hoarder.

We are expecting our first child in April. My husband works in law enforcement and is typically not off the entire day on Christmas. He calls me selfish and accuses me of trying to ruin their family tradition when I tell him this needs to end. I do not appreciate my husband taking off on me for four hours every Christmas morning. I want us to start our own traditions. Am I wrong? -- WANTS OUR OWN TRADITIONS

DEAR WANTS: Be thankful you have never been invited to your MIL's home because from your description, the experience wouldn't be pleasant.

Since you and your husband are starting a family now, I see nothing wrong with wanting to start some traditions of your own. However, it doesn't have to be an either/or situation. A way to do that without causing WWIII would be to suggest alternating the Christmas mornings he spends at his parents' house, or schedule your gift exchange for a time when your husband can be with you. Once the baby arrives, holiday plans are bound to change.

DEAR ABBY: I recently got my husband back in touch with "Scott," his best friend from adolescence and college. My husband's ex had kept them apart, so this rekindling is extra special and appreciated. I don't want to do anything that would jeopardize it. But Scott's wife makes me very uncomfortable.

She is quiet, reserved, but very manipulative. Neither she nor her husband are drinkers, but she insists on bringing a gift of some form of alcohol every time we see them, which is about once a month.

Abby, I am a recovering alcoholic. I have worked hard for my 11 years of sobriety, and continue to work hard at it every day. Firm, but polite requests I have made to her have fallen upon deaf ears. Speaking to Scott hasn't helped either, because he doesn't stand up to her. My husband also hasn't been able to get through.

He and Scott tell me to accept the gift and throw it away, or give it to another friend. But with addiction, it isn't that easy. I have resorted to inventing excuses not to see them, but I don't like feeling this way.

I believe she gives gifts because it makes her feel good, but at what point does my extreme discomfort trump her happiness? What can I do to get her to understand without ruining this relationship? -- IN A DELICATE SITUATION

DEAR DELICATE: Have you told Scott's wife that you are a recovering alcoholic? If you have, and she persists in gifting you with liquor when they come over, she is attempting to challenge your recovery. (Could her behavior be the reason your husband's former wife kept them apart?)

Your husband's rekindled friendship with Scott would not be ruined if he sees him on a one-to-one basis rather than the four of you socializing as couples. And if the clueless wife hands you another bottle of booze, that's what you should insist upon.

DEAR ABBY: I have been talking to someone I know is a genuine person, someone who has all the qualities I would want in a lifelong partner. However, I am still in love with my ex.

My ex has moved on but still contacts me, and we do deeply care about each other. I'm afraid if I decide to move forward, I'll always second-guess whether or not I did it for the right reasons. I'm afraid that because of my feelings for my ex, I won't be able to open up to anyone. I also know we would have many issues to resolve if we ever decided to give it another chance.

I guess I'm afraid to let go and afraid to move forward. What should I do? -- EQUALLY TORN IN THE WEST

DEAR EQUALLY TORN: Move forward as your ex has. And while you are at it, put more distance between the two of you. Whether the person you are talking to -- who seems to look good on paper -- is someone you'll wind up with is anybody's guess. So consider taking a break from romance for a while until you get your head straight. You're not there yet, but with time you will be.

DEAR ABBY: I am a new bride in my mid-20s. I'm writing about my dad.

At the wedding dinner, he read a list of reasons he "let" me get married. Granted, he thought it was funny, and he always needs to be the center of attention. But during our honeymoon abroad, he sent me messages at every juncture and each hotel.

Maybe he's having a hard time "letting go," but is this normal? Frankly, I found it creepy. My honeymoon was my and my new hubby's time to enjoy, and so much intrusion felt like stalking. I am not particularly close to Dad. Am I overreacting? -- NEWLYWED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR NEWLYWED: You stated that your father likes to be the center of attention. Your wedding dinner may have been yet another example of it.

A lot of humor is based on truth, and Dear Old Dad's thinking may be rooted in the 19th century or earlier, when women needed their father's permission to marry. That he would insert himself into your honeymoon does seem over the top for someone with whom you are not particularly close. If he persists, you and your husband should have a talk with him and tell him it's making the both of you uncomfortable and ask him to please stop.

DEAR ABBY: Many businesses these days outsource their customer service departments to phone centers in other countries where the person answering the phone speaks very little English or has a weak comprehension of the English language. Please don't get me wrong, they are polite, patient and try hard to be helpful, but many times it is difficult to get a question answered or an issue successfully dealt with because the person doesn't understand what you are saying or you are having trouble understanding.

Often I have spent much of my call asking the person to repeat him or herself, or repeating myself to them. Is there a polite way of saying, "Hey, get me someone who speaks English"? I have never said that, but I'm often tempted. Usually the call ends in frustration with unresolved issues. I don't want to be rude or hurt someone's feelings, but what do you do when business needs to be conducted? -- BONNIE IN MONTANA

DEAR BONNIE: If you call customer service and have trouble understanding the person you are speaking with or feel you are not being properly understood, either ask to talk to a supervisor or with someone whose first language is English. To do that isn't rude; it allows for the most productive use of your time as well as the person at the other end of the phone.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 22-year-old plus-sized female who is having trouble feeling beautiful. I have tried makeup, different outfits -- nothing seems to work. My boyfriend keeps telling me I'm beautiful, but it is not easy for me to see. What do you think I should do? -- SHATTERED MIRROR IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR SHATTERED: There's a saying that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. If your boyfriend keeps telling you that you are beautiful, then in HIS eyes you are. Because when you look in a mirror you only find fault with yourself, it appears that you don't like yourself much. Discuss this with a licensed psychotherapist to get to the bottom of it and learn to appreciate the beauty your boyfriend sees.