DEAR ABBY: My husband of 23 years, "Gerald," quit his job to start his own law firm. He told me about it only after he had quit. I have tried to be supportive, but seven months down the line, he has spent all our "rainy day" cash and earned only one paycheck. We have two teenagers, one who will be going to college in a year.

I took a high-paying job a year ago to help pay down our mortgage and fund our son's college expenses. Gerald claimed the bonus money he received when he quit his old job belonged to him to fund the new venture.

He's now saying that seven months is too little time to make any huge decisions, but we are now going to start liquidating our 401(k)s. This is where I draw the line. He needs to get a job. I have worked every year of our marriage and never quit.

I feel like I'm living with a selfish stranger who calls me a "money-hungry stereotypical female" when I ask when he'll get paid. Is it time for me to take off the rose-colored glasses and file for divorce? -- STUCK IN HIS MIDLIFE CRISIS

DEAR STUCK: Your husband should have discussed his career change with you before he quit the law firm. Do NOT allow him to push you into taking money from your 401(k). Because your husband hasn't yet reached retirement age, when he liquidates his, there will be a penalty for early withdrawal. Consult an attorney -- other than your husband -- about what your next steps should be to protect yourself and your children because your spouse does not appear to be making rational decisions.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing in response to the letter from "Loving Granddaughter" on July 2, who was asking for ways to prepare for the eventual passing of her grandparents, with whom she is very close.

A way to help her cope with her premature grief would be to take time to sit down with her grandparents and video a personal interview with them. This "Interview With a Loved One" provides an opportunity to capture her favorite stories and memories as told by her grandparents in their own words. She might even hear some surprising new stories as well!

We started doing this with my grandfather when he was first diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, before he started losing his memory. After he finally succumbed, going back to his interviews was a great way for our family to remember him in the way that he would have wanted to be remembered. -- JESSICA IN MISSOURI

DEAR JESSICA: That's a wonderful suggestion, one that I know will be appreciated by many of my readers. Thank you!

DEAR ABBY: How do I introduce my unmarried daughter's baby daddy? Can't say "husband," and can't say "partner" since gays have claimed that word. So how do you define that new role? -- I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET ...

DEAR MEET: When you introduce your grandchild's daddy, use his name and say, "This is 'John,' 'Jessica's' partner." The term is not used exclusively by LGBT people, but by straight couples as well.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for almost 11 years and have three children. About four years ago my wife cheated on me and left. After a six-week split, we decided we wanted to work things out. Everything was great -- until recently, when she got a job working at a busy gym.

Several of the guys from the gym have added her on Facebook and send her messages. They like all her posts and pictures. I work out there and when I go in, I see her laughing and joking with them. This has all started to bring me flashbacks to when she cheated.

I tried talking to her about how I feel, but she just says they are my insecurity issues and I need to deal with them. At this point, I'm contemplating divorce so I won't go through the same pain I went through last time. I check her Facebook page constantly to see if she has added any new guys and see what comments they are leaving. I know it's not healthy, and it makes me constantly depressed.

My wife has no interest in marriage counseling, but tells me I should seek professional help for my issues. Is there any saving this marriage, or is it time to move on? -- THREATENED IN TEXAS

DEAR THREATENED: Part of your wife's job is to be friendly to the members of that gym. It doesn't mean that she's involved with any of them outside of work. The problem with jealousy and insecurity is that unless they are managed, they tend to feed on each other and grow. While I can't banish the suspicions from your mind, some sessions with a licensed mental health professional might help you to put them into perspective. It may save your marriage. However, if it doesn't ease your mind, you can always talk to a lawyer.

DEAR ABBY: I take a maintenance pain pill for arthritis. I count them every other day to make sure that I'm not taking too many.

My daughter has been coming to my house a lot lately, and -- not every time, but off and on -- I'll count my pills after she leaves, and my count doesn't match the one from the day before. Sometimes I'm missing almost all of them, but when I talk to my daughter and ask if she took them, she always says she didn't. If I ask nicely, "Are you sure?" she accuses me of calling her a liar.

I know she's taking them, but I don't know what to do about her lying to me about it. I really need the pills for myself. The doctor prescribes them only once a month, and I know I'm going to run out.

What should I do? I don't want to hurt my daughter's feelings, but she needs to stop taking my pills. -- IN PAIN IN KANSAS

DEAR IN PAIN: Your daughter may have become addicted to your pain medication or be selling them to people who are. It's time to start keeping your pills under lock and key. Once you do, your daughter may be forced to come clean about the lying -- or you may find you're seeing a lot less of her than you presently do.

DEAR ABBY: I recently started seeing a self-made entrepreneur. He's intelligent, and basically the most amazing man I have ever been with.

Because of his position and stature, many beautiful and sophisticated women throw themselves at him. A friend of his told me that in the months that I've known him, he has had sex with at least five other women, several on the first date.

I'm not angry about it since we never formally agreed to be exclusive, but I'm in love with him and want him all to myself. When I confronted him, he said that because he never had success with women previously, he is prone to seduction. He said they didn't mean anything to him and that he wants to be with me.

I have dropped the matter for now, but I'm still concerned. I have tried to step up my game in the bedroom, and I'm willing to do anything to stop him from looking elsewhere. How do I make him give up his harem? -- WILLING TO DO ANYTHING

DEAR WILLING TO DO ANYTHING: I wish you had more clearly defined what "prone to seduction" means. Was he saying that because years ago he had little success with women he is enjoying the attention?

While you may be willing to "do anything" to have him all to yourself, if this man craves variety and is trying to make up for lost time, there's nothing you can do to dissuade him. The two of you appear to be at very different places in your lives. If you want a man who is willing to have an exclusive relationship, you're going to have to look elsewhere.

DEAR ABBY: I was just offered a HUGE promotion at my company. It will mean more than a 40 percent increase in pay, which is unheard of in my company, which has more than 10,000 employees. People in my department are not taking it well. Even my director did not congratulate me.

Taking on this new endeavor kind of scares me. I have had a tough year in my current position, and this new job is seriously tailored to me. My current manager -- who is new to the department -- feels this job was meant for me. She says I need a fresh start, and she has faith in me.

What's awkward is, the position involves working with some of the same people I worked with previously, although in a different capacity. Am I taking on too much? I know the team I will be working with, and I have a feeling I will love it. I'm just scared of setting myself up for failure. My boss and new manager are giving me a great opportunity, and I don't want to let anyone down. -- UNSURE IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR UNSURE: If your boss and new manager didn't feel you were capable of taking on the new assignment, they could have offered the job to the numerous other people at the company. Your former director may not have congratulated you because he/she was jealous, so do not take the silence to heart.

As to your fear that you won't succeed, all you can do is give it your best and keep moving forward. If you do that, you won't let anybody down -- including yourself.