DEAR ABBY: I am writing regarding my almost 13-year-old daughter. She's a sweet girl but lately has been involved in a lot of drama. Recently my husband and I saw what we believe to be two hickeys on her neck, one on each side. She has denied, denied, denied it, but we know what we know.

I'm worried because a few months ago she was called into her counselor's office for "roasting." She was asked to roast two specific girls, and the information got back to them and back to the counselor. Our daughter is not allowed to date, and although she has friends who started dating at 10 or 11, I don't allow her to go to their homes. I do allow them to come to our home instead.

I just need to know how to handle this situation before it gets out of control. I have tried talking calmly and patiently with her, but it doesn't work. She believes she knows it all and I know nothing. -- UNSURE IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR UNSURE: Girls who mock others and say cruel things are less "nice" than you would like to believe. It's a form of bullying. You need to nip this in the bud. A way to handle your daughter's misbehavior would be to institute consequences for getting called to the counselor's office and/or lying to you and your husband. By consequences, I mean the removal of privileges -- cellphone, television, internet, or having friends over for a period of time.

Also, if your daughter is coming home with hickeys, she may have too much unsupervised time on her hands. So if you haven't already, involve her in supervised activities such as church youth groups, sports and special-interest clubs if her school offers them. If she's going to a friend's house, be sure an adult will be there.

Parenting is a full-time job. In time your daughter will mature and this, too, will pass. But for now she needs watching.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend -- who is 19 -- was concerned that she might be pregnant because her period was late. She told me that she and her husband (yes, she's married) have been having unprotected sex. Lo and behold, she took multiple tests and she is pregnant.

I know they are not ready to have a baby, even though she says she's excited. They are currently living in a hotel, and she doesn't have a job. Her husband's mom doesn't even know they're married. I feel bad, but it makes me not want to be her friend anymore because of the choices she's made and where she has ended up. Any advice? -- DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

DEAR DON'T KNOW: Yes. If you prefer not to be part of her drama -- and it doesn't take a crystal ball to see that there is likely to be plenty -- back off. And tell her honestly that you are not equipped to handle her problems right now.

DEAR ABBY: I sent out save-the-date notices for my wedding in November. One couple has stopped talking to me and refuses to tell me why. Must I send them an invitation to my wedding? -- WEDDING BLUES

DEAR WEDDING BLUES: According to Emily Post, the rules of etiquette dictate that "everyone who receives a save-the-date card must receive an invitation." (The italics are Emily's.) However, because the couple has stopped speaking to you, do not be surprised if you hear nothing from them.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 46-year-old woman with PTSD due to a history of physical abuse, mental abuse and incest that I experienced as a child. I'm proud to say that it has not been repeated with my four children.

My childhood history has made me want sex only if I am in control or if I am role-playing rape. It has caused a big problem with my fiance. I want this scenario all the time, and unfortunately it's unhealthy. I'm not sure how to go about healthy sex with him. He is 10 years older than I am and not interested in "different" sex practices.

I love him very much and don't want to mess up this relationship because of my sex issues. Can you advise me how to handle this? -- ROLE-PLAYING IN ST. PAUL

DEAR ROLE-PLAYING: If you haven't discussed the reason for your sexual issues with your fiance, you need to explain the reason for them. From your letter, I am guessing that you never had counseling to help you resolve the abuse to which you were subjected. If that's correct, I am advising you to contact RAINN (Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network; rainn.org) or a local rape crisis organization and ask for some help now. The counselors are specially trained to help victims of various kinds of abuse, and the place to start resolving your issues would be there.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a woman in my 30s. My father has been in prison since I was a tot. I was raised by my mother who, in my opinion, did a great job. My relationship with my father has been damaged for as long as I can remember. He will never get out, and part of me is angry at him for making such poor life choices.

When I was a teenager he struck me once during a visit. He is also manipulative and sometimes does hurtful things. For example, a few years ago he wrote me letters to which I never responded. When I finally got around to writing him back, he mailed my letters back to me (unopened) and said I deserved to see how it felt to have letters go unanswered.

He has said he's convinced he will die within five years because he's nearing the ages when his parents died. I think there's something wrong with him, and I'm afraid that after he passes on I'll feel like I didn't make enough of an effort. How do I proceed with my relationship with my father? -- CAUTIOUS IN THE SOUTH

DEAR CAUTIOUS: Your father made terrible life choices, and he's spending the rest of his life paying for them. I don't blame you for feeling anger at his inability to parent you. However, before advising you to write him off, I would need to know why he lashed out at you during your prison visit, even though hitting is unacceptable.

When people are incarcerated, their ability to reach out is severely limited, as I am sure you know all too well. I don't think the way your father handled your ignoring his letters was bad or wrong. If his silence stung you, imagine how yours affected him.

Whether or not your father is dying is beside the point. I think on some level you know you have to treat him with more compassion than you have, or you wouldn't have written to me. I don't know anyone who hasn't made mistakes. Your father made a doozy. But you say your mother raised you right, and if that's true it couldn't hurt to treat him with some compassion.

DEAR ABBY: My dad started an affair with a woman who is four years older than I am. He met her when he hired her for her "services." Fast-forward a year: He has left my mom. Mom left the state and has moved in with me. She's trying to rebuild her life, but she's still very much in love with my dad.

Dad, on the other hand, is miserable. His girlfriend is controlling to the point that he's not allowed to talk to his children or grandchildren. She's an alcoholic who mentally, verbally and physically abuses him. He recently left her and came to stay at my house. He told Mom and me that he wanted a fresh start.

Abby, he was here for less than 48 hours and went back to the girlfriend! I am convinced that he either has a drug problem or he's sick. He has lost an extreme amount of weight. I have no idea how to help him and I'm terrified that he is going to die.

Now he won't talk to me. He left while I was at work so he wouldn't have to face me. I don't understand why he would come here only to turn right around and leave. I am disgusted, disappointed and angry. Should I cut all ties with him until he gets his life together? -- DISAPPOINTED DAUGHTER

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: Considering what has been going on, your feelings are natural. However, because you are unsure about what is driving your father -- addiction, illness, indecision, etc. -- do not "cut all ties." Leave the door ajar a little longer. There's a saying, "It ain't over 'til it's over." Victims sometimes need several attempts to leave their abusers, and your dad may be no exception.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a wonderful girl for about seven months. We're sophomores in college. She's sweet, kind, extraordinarily talented, and we treat each other wonderfully. Everything has been great, with the occasional disagreement.

The problem is that I'm starting to notice that she seems to be homophobic. I was raised in a liberal, open-minded home, whereas hers was much more conservative. She never met a homosexual until college. She has talked about feeling uncomfortable with two men kissing or talking about being intimate.

At first, I thought she'd be equally uncomfortable with straight couples doing the same thing, but she wasn't. When I tell her that I support marriage equality and the LGBTQ community, she gets very quiet and uneasy.

I care for her, but I don't know if I can be with someone who's this uncomfortable about homosexuality. What do you think I should do? This is a very important issue to me, and I would love your insight. -- TORN COLLEGE SOPHOMORE

DEAR TORN: She may be a wonderful girl, but whether you are wonderful for each other is open to question. Try to project ahead. If the two of you were to marry and she was unable to overcome her aversion to gay people, to what extent would it limit your ability to interact with them? Or their ability to have a relationship with you?

Let this play out a little longer to see if she's able to evolve with more exposure. If she's not, then she may not be the one for you.