Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 27-year-old mother of three in the process of divorcing a man I have been with for seven years, during two of which we were married. We have remained civil up to this point, although he is hurt because I'm the one who ended things.

I decided to jump right back into the dating scene. I have been out a couple times, but I haven't really been looking for anything specific. My thinking was "whatever happens, happens."

But two months ago I met a guy at work. He's involved in a bowling league, and he invited me to come watch him one Friday. When I saw him away from the job, I fell in love. We really hit it off! We have a ton in common, I have already been introduced to most of his family (whom I love!) and every time we are together, there is never a dull moment.

With my divorce and all, am I moving too fast? It has only been a short while, but the feelings I have for this man cannot be ignored. -- OVERCOME IN OHIO

DEAR OVERCOME: Yes, all of this is moving too fast. While I'm not advising you to ignore your feelings, I urge you to slow things down. If your relationship with this person is what you think it is, it will stand the test of time. You both have a lot of getting to know each other ahead of you. You have a divorce to get through, with all of the emotions that go with it. This man may be your Prince Charming, but only time will tell for sure.

DEAR ABBY: My father was never very involved in my life. He had a successful career, but gave it up to pursue one he thought would be more enjoyable (movie producer), which meant he has a very unstable income. Our family has struggled with money ever since.

I heard recently that Dad was kicked out of his house, and I have no idea where he is now living. He has been doing drugs and other questionable things that are uncomfortable to hear about or to discuss with him.

I'm applying to colleges now and need money, so I feel obligated to keep in contact with him. That way, I can make him pay for some of the applications since Mom can't do it alone. I don't know what to do. Everyone I ask tells me to cut off contact with him, but I feel trapped. Thoughts? -- TRAPPED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR TRAPPED: I'm sorry your father has been such a disappointment. But if you expect a drug-using, recently evicted deadbeat to fund any portion of your college education, you are dreaming. You should not feel you can depend upon him for anything.

My thought is that you should find a job ASAP to help you fund your college applications yourself, and make an appointment to talk with a counselor at your high school about this. I'm sure it won't be the first time he or she has heard about a predicament like yours, and perhaps he or she can suggest some scholarships or financial assistance for you. Your local library or the internet would be other good sources for researching what's available and if you qualify.

DEAR READERS: Finally, 2016 is over! Out with the old year, in with the new one. Please accept my heartfelt good wishes for a happy, healthy and prosperous 2017. And, as I caution you every year -- if you are partying tonight, PLEASE be safe! -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are in our 30s. We do well for ourselves and are generally happy. We both have siblings who have various problems -- drug abuse, emotional issues, broken relationships. Our parents pick up and travel to support them during their various dramas, but visit my husband and me only if they need a place to stay and don't want to pay for a hotel.

My parents have cited fear of flying as a reason they don't visit us much, and my husband's parents claim they don't have the money. However, their travel itineraries to visit our siblings suggest otherwise.

I haven't asked my husband's parents about this, but I did ask mine. My mother said that because we're "on a good path," they don't need to see us as often or put as much effort into us. I was shocked. How do we deal with knowing that we're less favored because we have our act together? -- THE GOOD KIDS

DEAR GOOD KIDS: You are not the only people with this problem. The same thing tends to happen in families in which there is a child with special needs. The parents expend their energy where they think it is needed most, which often results in hurt and resentment on the part of the stronger siblings.

Perhaps if you view what your mother told you less as a punishment for your success and more as a validation, it will be less hurtful and you will understand the logic. And if you feel you need more time with your parents, go visit them.

DEAR ABBY: "Emotional Dad in California" (July 23), whose wife was planning to deliver their child early, was correct. No baby should be electively delivered before 39 weeks gestation. While term gestation is still defined as 37 weeks, current terminology distinguishes early term (37 to 38 weeks), from term (39 to 40 weeks). Data show that not only is the rate of acute complications higher for babies born even at 36 weeks, but each week less than 39 is associated with increasingly lower developmental scores.

In a collaborative effort, organizations dedicated to children's health have spent the last decade trying to reduce the rate of late preterm births, those from 34 to 37 weeks. We have made great inroads in reducing late preterm births, and I am quite certain that getting the word out to your millions of readers could have a positive impact and take us even further. Every baby should have the healthiest start possible, and in the absence of pregnancy complications, that means waiting until 39 weeks. -- DAVID H. LEVINE, M.D., COLUMBUS, GA.

DEAR DR. LEVINE: Thank you for this information. I heard from many readers, including neonatologists, labor/delivery nurses, and other professionals certified in maternal and newborn care. They all cited the current position of the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) advocating for full-term delivery.

All stated that the final few weeks are important for brain, lung and liver development, vision and hearing, blood sugar regulation, and attaining a healthy birth weight so the baby can stay warm, suck and swallow, and remain awake long enough to be fed. Expectant moms should do as much research as they can in order to give their babies the best chance for the healthiest life.

DEAR ABBY: My twin sister and I were raised by a single mom. Because Mom received welfare benefits, she was required to list "potential" fathers in order to receive aid. After a time, the state required paternity tests be given to the men she had listed, so we had no idea who our biological father was until we were 16.

Although paternity was proven, he never attempted to contact us. I recently learned that he died several years ago at a relatively young age (mid-50s). I also discovered that he had at least two other children, one of whom I was able to locate on Facebook.

I don't want to cause any undue distress by reaching out to them. However, I'm curious about any historical information they could provide, particularly medical or hereditary issues I should know about. All of a sudden I have this overwhelming need for information, especially now that I have a child.

Should I try and contact my half-siblings, or let it go and hope there's nothing there to find out? I don't want to hurt anyone, but I feel I just have to know. -- NEEDS TO KNOW

DEAR NEEDS TO KNOW: The revelation that you and your sister exist may come as a shock to your half-siblings, so be prepared. Ideally, the way to go about asking for the information you're seeking would be through an intermediary such as a lawyer. However, if you can't afford one, then write a letter explaining who you are and that you are a parent and would like any information that can be provided about any genetic illnesses that run in your father's side of the family, including his cause of death. While you're at it, be sure to mention that you are not trying to intrude -- only to find information that may be pertinent to you, your twin sister and your child.

DEAR ABBY: I have been separated from my ex-wife for a year and I'm still depressed. I can't eat, I sleep only a couple of hours a night and since the split I have lost 40 pounds.

I'm in my late 20s. My wife and I were together since high school. We have two kids. We separated because of her infidelity and immaturity. I was the one who decided to leave and I don't regret my decision, but a part of me can't move on.

I'm still nice to her and cater to her sometimes, but I want to stop. I feel she uses me because she knows I will always love her. How do I break my bond with her? -- STILL NOT OVER HER IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR STILL NOT OVER HER: If your ex-wife is the only woman you have ever dated or been intimate with, it's not surprising that this has been extremely hard for you. Divorce can bring with it a roller coaster of emotions, some high and some low.

Because you can't seem to break out of the lows, it might help you to go online and research divorce support groups for men and attend some meetings. However, if you find you need more help than that to disengage -- and you may -- ask your doctor for a referral to a licensed mental health professional.