DEAR ABBY: I have been a vegetarian for 12 years. My husband has been one on and off for five years. I thought our children, 7 and 3, had never had meat in their lives.

I recently found out that my father-in-law has been feeding them chicken nuggets from fast food. I was, and still am, very upset about it. It has been six months and I haven't talked to him since and no longer let my kids go over there without my husband. He texted me an apology that seemed very sarcastic and made me even angrier.

Everyone says I need to get over it, but no one has confronted him about it. This has put a strain on my relationship with my husband. Can you please advise me on what to do next? -- FURIOUS IN THE SOUTH

DEAR FURIOUS: Text messages are, by definition, terse. Accept the apology you were given and move forward.

That said, however, continue to insist that your children be under their father's supervision when they visit their grandfather because his judgment is questionable, and he has already shown that when they are with him, your wishes will not be enforced.

DEAR ABBY: I have had a few negative encounters with dog owners who invited me to their home and became upset because I pushed their pet away when it tried to jump/lick/nudge me (although I do it gently). While I understand I am entering the dog's territory, I think it's inconsiderate when pet owners not only refuse to restrain their pets, but also imply that I'm somehow a lesser human being because I don't want my personal space infringed upon by an aggressive animal.

I would never allow my children to behave similarly around guests. If I knew people were uncomfortable with my children climbing on them, as a polite host, I would ask my children to leave that person alone. To me it seems this is a mutual respect issue. Am I wrong? -- DOG ENCOUNTERS

DEAR DOG ENCOUNTERS: No, you're not wrong. People have had scratches on their legs and items of clothing ruined because a dog jumped on them. The problem is that some dog owners identify so strongly with their pet that they lose the ability to distinguish between it and themselves -- and take anything they perceive as a rejection personally.

While a guest may be technically on a dog's turf, that doesn't mean the guest should be fair game. Considerate hosts control their dog until it has calmed down enough to be properly introduced.

DEAR ABBY: I have a 19-year-old granddaughter who has three tattoos and now a ring in her nose. Any suggestions as to what I might say to her to stop the destruction? -- GRANDDAD IN NEW ORLEANS

DEAR GRANDDAD: Whether your granddaughter is "destroying" herself is a matter of opinion. Obviously, she doesn't think so. That's why I'm advising you to say nothing beyond "I love you" to her because she is now an adult and responsible for the choices she makes.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter and son are heroin addicts. After living through this hell for 11 years, I have reached my breaking point. My daughter, who just turned 18, is in jail. My heart is broken. Therapists, parent sessions, etc. haven't helped.

I'm 60 years old and should be retiring, but my retirement money was all spent on rehabs, etc. I won't even go into the many items that were stolen from me.

How do I move on? I'm so depressed I can't get out of bed in the morning, and I cry all day. I don't want to take meds for depression because drugs have caused all my misery. My marriage is falling apart too. How do I carry on with this misery? -- MISERABLE IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR MISERABLE: The way to carry on is to let it go. If you haven't heard of Nar-Anon, you should check into it. It's a support group for the family and friends of people who are addicted to narcotics, based on the principles of Al-Anon, which is for the loved ones of alcoholics. Help is as near as your computer. Visit nar-anon.org to find a group near you, and you will find that you are not as alone as you feel right now.

DEAR ABBY: Five years ago I discovered my wife had been cheating on me with an ex-boyfriend for eight years. We have two young children, so we resolved our differences and decided against divorce.

Now she says she wants us to have another baby. I feel I cannot handle a pregnancy with her because of her infidelity. As a hands-on father, I would want to be part of the pregnancy and the complications/changes that come with it. How should I handle this and express to her why I cannot (at this point) have another child with her? -- HANDS-ON DAD

DEAR DAD: Clearly you are not over your wife's infidelity, and frankly, I can't blame you. The best way to get the message across to her would be during marriage counseling.

DEAR ABBY: Several years ago I gifted one of my nephews, who was serving in the military at the time, with a .38-caliber revolver that had belonged to my uncle and reportedly had been used during World War I. I also gave his older brother a Colt .45 pistol from World War II.

The nephew with the .38 revolver suffered from PTSD and died several years ago. The gun went to his father. My question is, shouldn't I have been asked if I wanted the revolver returned? I didn't give it to his father but to him. The father has made no attempt to return it to me.

Abby, guns with histories are very personal to owners, and this one was doubly personal and an antique. What should I do? -- EMPTY HOLSTER IN TEXAS

DEAR EMPTY HOLSTER: Technically, once a gift is given it becomes the property of the person who receives it. Because your nephew is deceased -- and I'm assuming his father is his next of kin -- the gun became the father's property. Since the gun has emotional significance to you because of its history, depending upon your relationship with the father, you can ask him to return it -- or offer to buy it back from him. However, there is no guarantee he will agree to your request.

DEAR ABBY: I am 68 and my husband is 80. I just found out he is involved with a 40-year-old woman. He says it is not an affair because they haven't actually had sex! I don't know what to do. Can you help me? -- HEARTBROKEN IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: Your husband may not be having an affair in the physical sense, but he is having an emotional affair. He may be flattered by the attention he's receiving from a younger woman, or he may think he's actually in love with her. Whether she is in love with him is open to question.

However, if your husband is giving her money, you might have an argument that he is being manipulated into it, which could qualify as elder abuse. Remember, too, if you are a longtime wife in a community property state, half of the assets acquired during your marriage are yours. If he doesn't agree to end the relationship, this is something you might want to discuss with a lawyer.

DEAR ABBY: My 7-year-old daughter, "Jessie," has a best friend who lives next door. The neighbor, "Laurie," has an older brother, "Jason," who is 13.

Recently, Jessie played at Laurie's house, and when she came home she told me Jason had said some nasty things to her. When I asked what they were, she told me that one time Jason told her to pull down her underwear, and another time he told her to pull down his pants and do something that can't be mentioned in a family newspaper.

When I heard it, I was livid. I told his mother about it, and now she will not let my daughter play with Laurie. She believes Jessie made it all up. My daughter is inconsolable because she no longer has a playmate. She believes it is her fault that Laurie can't play with her because she told me. I don't know what to do so the girls can play together. -- NEEDS A PLAYMATE

DEAR NEEDS: It is important that you make Jessie understand that none of this was her fault -- it was Jason's fault -- and that she did the right thing by telling you. What you need to do now is help your daughter find other playmates, preferably some whose parents supervise when children play in their home.

While Jason's mother may not want to believe what her son did, it's highly unlikely your daughter made it up. Dealing with a problem like that by putting her head in the sand will only invite more trouble, because Jason is sure to repeat it with some other little girl.

DEAR ABBY: Today I called my church to cancel my attendance at a retreat a month from now. I had paid $25 to hold my spot. When I stated my reason for calling, the church secretary said, "Do you want a refund or would you like to donate toward tithes?" I thought this was nervy. I told her to refund the money. What is your thought on this? -- WANTS A REFUND IN BRENTWOOD, CALIF.

DEAR WANTS: Just this: You were offered an option, and you chose the one you preferred. Let it go.