DEAR ABBY: When I was a young, newly divorced, single mother, I returned to college. There I met a woman in similar circumstances. We became fast friends, decided to pool our resources while we pursued higher education and moved in together. Over time, the friendship became more than platonic.

This was my first experience with same-sex relationships, and I loved her deeply. We had six years together, but ultimately it didn't work out and we moved on. I have been in a committed marriage all these years since.

Recently, her now-grown sons called me to "catch up." During the course of the conversation, they asked me if their mother and I had had an intimate relationship. I didn't know what to say. My ex became very religious after our split and has never openly acknowledged (that I know of) the nature of our relationship.

It's certainly not my story to tell, but I didn't know how to respond to her sons without telling a blatant lie or giving an answer that would verify their suspicions. So I faked losing the phone connection to keep from answering. What should I do the next time they call? -- ANCIENT HISTORY IN ARIZONA

DEAR ANCIENT HISTORY: Do not "out" her to her sons. The next time they call, if that question is asked again, handle it with a laugh and say they should take their questions about their mother's sex life directly to her. Period!

DEAR ABBY: I recently had a baby and gained 25 pounds. My husband and I decided to go on a post-baby diet, which includes cutting out carbs and sugar. Over the past month, he has lost about 15 pounds; I lost eight.

The problem is, he is constantly talking about our diet. He dictates everything we eat, although he refuses to cook. He also wants to know my exact weight to see how I'm doing. Abby, I'm too embarrassed to tell him my weight as I'm a few pounds heavier than he is.

Why doesn't he understand that weighing me is very embarrassing? He constantly tells me he loves me and wants to help me live a healthy lifestyle. I should also mention that I have suffered from emotional eating my entire life. -- NOT WANTING TO WEIGH IN

DEAR NOT WANTING TO WEIGH IN: The person determining your post-baby diet should not be your husband; it should be your doctor or a licensed nutritionist. Your husband may be well-meaning, but what he is doing is counterproductive. When emotional eaters are stressed, they eat! Please schedule an appointment with your physician and your spouse to talk about what's going on because it is not healthy for you or your marriage.

DEAR ABBY: I raised all five of my children without much help from their deadbeat dad, who was never around. They are grown now. I am still single and barely making a living.

All of my kids live around the Dallas area. I don't. Where I live is working for me because I have jobs, but I want to be near them. Should I throw away what I have to go and be near them, or stay where I am financially stable? I love my children so much. -- LONESOME MOM

DEAR LONESOME MOM: Unless you are sure you can find work in the Dallas area, you should not relocate. It would make more sense for you to discuss this with your children and encourage them to visit you more often, if it's feasible.

DEAR ABBY: A year ago, I lost a tooth. I'm a 56-year-old woman on disability, short on funds to rectify the problem, so I visited my local hospital's dental clinic. I hadn't visited a dentist in years, so I was quite fearful.

The clinic allows a dental resident to work on your issue under the supervision of a practiced dentist. The work I needed was performed every two weeks for about four months. What I did not count on was becoming seriously attracted to a 29-year-old resident I'll call "Justin."

At first, I couldn't believe it was possible, given the fact that I'm old enough to be his mother and my ex-husband is a doctor. I was a teacher and I know all the "rules." In fairness, in no way did Justin or I do or say anything inappropriate. Still, certain circumstances led me to believe that he felt the same about me. Neither of us acted on this.

My question: The work has been over for months, but some days the memories are so intense, I can't get him out of my mind. I don't know how to handle this. Please help. -- UNEXPECTED IN NEW YORK

DEAR UNEXPECTED: The "rules" you referred to are a code of ethics that professionals are expected to adhere to. The way to handle your feelings would be to consider that if Justin were to act on the feelings you think he shared with you, he could lose his job, and the future he has worked so hard to build would be destroyed. If you care about him at all beyond your attraction, you will not pursue this further.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing about how to proceed with expressing sympathy for an old friend.

My husband and I were very close friends with a couple for about eight years. We moved away, but continued to see each other occasionally. We kept in touch, and in the past few years have been able to visit more frequently. When we were in their city six months ago, we saw them a few times and they mentioned that they had no friends. I know she has no siblings or parents left.

Her husband died suddenly of a stroke five months ago. They were together for 50 years. I sent her a formal sympathy note and three more casual follow-ups. I also wrote a poem in his memory. It may seem excessive, but I remember how bereft she felt when her sister died, and she felt that sympathy was not sufficiently extended (I don't think she was pointing the finger at me).

Abby, I don't want her to think that we aren't feeling a lot of sympathy for her. Yet her silence indicates that either our overtures are unwanted or that her condition is so bad that she's emotionally overwhelmed. When does an old friend stop reaching out? -- BEWILDERED IN OHIO

DEAR BEWILDERED: Call the woman and ask her how she's doing. Explain that because you haven't heard from her, you have been concerned.

You are a caring friend, but there is only so much anyone can do via long distance. It's possible that because her husband's death was unexpected, she has had her hands full learning how to take care of the details that he managed while he was alive.

If she's not doing well, suggest she join a support group so she won't be isolated in her grief. And recognize that, as much as you wish to support her, she will have to forge her own way through her heartache.

DEAR ABBY: I'm acquainted with a woman who has been experiencing seizures for several years and, because of the seizures, has been restricted from driving. She drove her son to school a couple of years ago (he had missed the bus) and ran into a brick mailbox, totaling her car.

She now wants to be able to drive and has said she will not tell her doctor about recent seizures. Isn't this potentially dangerous? -- RESTRICTED DRIVING IN KENTUCKY

DEAR RESTRICTED DRIVING: Of course it's dangerous! It is also irresponsible and indefensible.

Periodically, we hear in the media about tragedies that happened because someone had a seizure and drove into a restaurant, a shop window, etc. For someone with an illness that could endanger the lives of passengers, pedestrians and other innocent people to get behind the wheel of a vehicle is selfish and unconscionable.

Encourage her to talk to her doctor about adjusting or changing her medication. And remind her that if she were to cause another accident, and it was discovered that she was driving in spite of being restricted, that she could not only kill people, she could also be prosecuted criminally and civilly.

DEAR ABBY: Whenever I give my longtime friend a gift, her immediate reaction is to tell me, "Oh, no." Then she immediately offers to give me money for the gift.

When I give someone a gift, it is because I like that person and am excited to give them something I think they would like. When she tells me I shouldn't have done it and keeps asking how much money she owes me, I feel very hurt.

Now her daughter, whom I consider like my family, has learned it from her mom and does the same thing when I give her a gift. Abby, why do they react that way? I always give from my heart. -- GIFT GIVER IN TEXAS

DEAR GIFT GIVER: I suspect your friend learned this behavior the way her daughter has -- from her mother. You might ask your friend to explain why she does this when you give her a gift, because her reaction is peculiar. (Could it be she feels unworthy?) Because you know that receiving gifts makes her uncomfortable, my advice is to quit giving her things.

DEAR ABBY: I have a girlfriend. We have been dating for almost two months. We both love each other so much and think we are the perfect match. But she is going to high school and I'm a year younger, which puts me in eighth grade. We live close to each other, so we see each other on the weekends.

She has been accepted to an amazingly good school, but it's in downtown. What should we do? Should we keep our relationship or leave it if we won't be able to see each other as often? -- TEENS IN LOVE

DEAR TEENS: If I told you to break up because in a few months you and this girl won't be able to see each other as often, would you do it? I don't think so! What I do suggest is that the two of you let this play out. Enjoy each other for now, and in the fall, if your feelings -- or hers -- change, discuss it then.