DEAR ABBY: My son, "Jimmy," is 8. His father and I are divorced, and he is facing jail time. Jimmy sees him every other weekend. I'm planning on telling Jimmy the truth, although I'm sure his dad will want me to lie and say he needs to "work out of town" for a while, or something like that.

I know it will be hard for my boy to deal with. I also wonder what he should tell other people. I worry that if he tells his friends the truth (and they tell their parents), Jimmy might not be invited over to play quite as often, or kids will tease him. But I feel like it's sending a mixed message if I tell him it's OK to lie about this particular issue. How should I handle this? -- TO TELL THE TRUTH

DEAR TRUTH: Jimmy needs to know that his mother tells the truth. If you lie to him about this, or anything else for that matter, when he learns the truth -- as he will eventually -- he will start to question the veracity of everything you have told him. This is a lot for an 8-year-old to deal with, I know, but I vote for keeping the boy informed.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been dating for two months. I think I'm being too clingy, but he won't tell me if I am. He says when I ask for reassurance, it drives him away.

Every time we do anything remotely sexual, he tells me he feels guilty about it. He is sweet and caring. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I have never been so in love. I don't want to lose him. What should I do? -- IN LOVE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR IN LOVE: This may seem counterintuitive, but take a step back. Stop asking for reassurance. Because he says he feels guilty about doing anything remotely sexual, the next time he makes a move, be less willing. Tell him you don't want him to do anything that he will be sorry about later, and remind him what he said the last time. It may improve your relationship because, from your description, he appears to be immature and not ready for a romance.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law is very ill and is preparing for the end. I feel bad for my spouse -- this will be a great loss. However, my mother-in-law and I have never been close. She has been very negative about me, mostly behind my back. I have tolerated her and complained only to my spouse.

When the end comes, I know many people will express sympathy for "my loss." I won't be feeling remorse, but a sense of relief. Is there a kind way of stating that it is not a sad time for me because of our strained relationship? -- THE END IS NEAR

DEAR END: Much as you might like to express those feelings publicly, I don't advise it. It would be inappropriate and reflect badly on you. If someone offers condolences, say, "Thank you, how kind of you," and keep the rest to yourself. If you do otherwise, you will be validating every bad thing that woman said behind your back.

DEAR ABBY: My stepmother had a recipe for meatloaf that she found in your column years ago. She made it for us often when we visited and we all loved it. However, we have been unable to locate that recipe anywhere and don't remember how to make it. Could you reprint the recipe for me? We've been trying others, but yours is the best. -- JENNA IN JACKSONVILLE, FLA.

DEAR JENNA: I'm pleased to share that recipe once again. I have made it and we love it, too. Now that you have mentioned it, when I go to the market later, I'll pick up the ingredients and make it for dinner tonight. The leftovers make wonderful sandwiches! This recipe is part of my cookbooklet set, which has recipes for appetizers, soups, salads, vegetable side dishes, main courses and delicious desserts. The set can be ordered by sending your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $14 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. By the way, the cookbooklet set also contains a tasty recipe for turkey meatloaf for those who have sworn off red meat, which clearly I haven't.

MEATLOAF

2 lbs. ground beef

1 cup seasoned Italian bread crumbs

1/2 cup finely chopped onion

1/3 cup ketchup

1/3 cup water

1 teaspoon garlic powder

2 eggs

Pepper to taste

Salt, if desired

4 strips bacon, if desired

Heat oven to 350 F.

In large bowl, combine all ingredients except bacon. Shape into a loaf; place in 9-by-5-inch pan. Arrange bacon strips on top of meat mixture, if desired. Bake for 60 minutes. Serves 6 to 8.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Brian" for five months. We are very compatible and have discussed spending the rest of our lives together. He is 54; I am 59.

The deal breaker for me is his "daughter" ("Allison"), who is actually the daughter of a friend of his. Allison and Brian's two grown sons grew up together. She's 24.

Allison no longer hangs out, talks with or visits Brian's sons, but she is close to Brian. She has no girlfriends, no male friends and she's estranged from her parents. Brian helps her with school projects, they go to lunch, walk on the beach, text/talk on the phone, go on bike rides, go hiking, etc. He tells me he's a father figure to her.

I have met Allison and I think her behavior is a little too flirtatious for a daughter/father relationship. She also made a couple of inappropriate comments to me during our first meeting. When I mention to Brian that I don't think it's a healthy "friendship," he becomes defensive. Should I bow out now and cut my losses, get to know Allison better, or tell Brian it's me or her? -- THIRD WHEEL OUT WEST

DEAR THIRD WHEEL: Brian seems like a nice, caring person. You have known him for only five months. I vote for standing pat a while longer and making an effort to befriend Allison. If she's truly as alone as you describe, she could use an older, more-experienced woman in her life. You might even find you like her rather than feel threatened by her. However, if that's not feasible, you can always cut your losses and run, but not right now.

DEAR ABBY: As the only income earner in our household of five, I work long hours. Sometimes I would enjoy talking about my day with my wife of 18 years. While she has no problem staying awake to watch TV or going out with her friends on the weekend, she usually falls asleep right in the middle of what I'm saying. It also happens in the car while I'm driving.

Contrast this to a recent trip she took with her friends where they talked and yucked it up for five hours straight. No matter how tired I am at the end of a long work week, I will do everything in my power to stay awake if there's something she needs to talk about. I can't figure out why she's not doing the same for me.

When I tell her it hurts my feelings that she doesn't think I'm important enough to make the effort to stay awake, or at least tell me she's too tired to talk, I get criticized for not being sympathetic to how tired she is. At first I thought it was true. But now I think her behavior is self-centered. Am I crazy to think this way? -- UNHEARD IN ILLINOIS

DEAR UNHEARD: You're not crazy. You seem perfectly rational to me. What your wife is doing when you try to tell her that you are hurt is accuse you of doing exactly what she has been doing. To prevent your anger from building over this, discuss it with her when she's wide awake -- in a marriage counselor's office, if necessary. Please do it before you encounter a lady who IS sympathetic and willing to listen, because there are plenty of them out there.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have had two big dogs for several years. In general, they are well-behaved, but they have a lot of energy. I have two kids and limited free time, and my husband no longer walks them. I refuse to do it because the dogs are very strong. They have knocked me over on a couple of occasions. Because the dogs have no release, we have come home several times to find they have destroyed one thing or another in the house (chewed up walls, furniture, carpet).

I suggested dog training and/or a dog walker, but my husband refuses and promises to start walking them again (which usually lasts a couple of weeks, at most). He was raised to believe that dogs are part of the family, while I was not, so when I suggest that we "rehome" the dogs to someone who can devote more time to them, he won't consider it, saying he could never do that to a family member.

I'm at my wit's end. The situation is affecting our marriage in a number of ways. Any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated. -- LOTS OF ENERGY IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR LOTS OF ENERGY: Gladly. Enlist your husband's help once again in walking those "family members" and suggest he take the kids along. They might enjoy the "family" outing, and it would give you some time to yourself. Your reason for not doing it is valid. You should not risk physical injury.

When he stops walking the dogs again in a few weeks -- as he will -- hire the dog walker. If he objects, ask him which is more expensive, this or fixing the damage the dogs invariably cause when they haven't had enough exercise to tire them out. I'm sure he will see your reasoning.