DEAR ABBY: My mother raised my two nephews because of their parents' drug addiction. They are now adults (21 and 25). As a result of these circumstances, Mom was never able to be a fun, doting grandmother to her other grandchildren. My nephews needed stability, and I helped often. I lived three minutes away, so I, too, was an important adult in their lives while they were growing up.

I feel my children were robbed of an opportunity that others take for granted. Although they saw their grandmother regularly, she had little left for my kids and her other grandchildren. She was often tired and frustrated, and never took my kids to the park or baked cookies. It had to be a special occasion just for her to baby-sit.

She recently mentioned that when she passes away, she will leave more to the grandchildren she raised than to the others. I feel this is unfair. I expressed that she has other grandchildren and things should be divided equally among them. Am I wrong to feel this way? -- LOOKING AHEAD IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR LOOKING: I don't think so. However, your mother's assets are hers to dispose of as she wishes. While you and I might disagree with her reasoning, I don't think it should be allowed to become a bone of contention.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a guy, "Dustin," for 10 years. We lived together for two years and broke up, but then we got back together. Dustin lives with his mother and always has, except for two marriages that lasted eight years each.

I don't understand why he always goes home to his mother. When he stays the night with me, he has to go "check on her" the next morning. He stays at her house Monday, Wednesday and Friday. The rest of the time he's here with me, but before he goes to work, he has to go check on her.

Abby, there is nothing wrong with her. She drives, gardens, cooks and is very much on the go. Can you help me understand this? -- COMING IN SECOND IN TEXAS

DEAR COMING IN SECOND: I'll try. Dustin may feel the need to stop by to see if his mother is well, to change clothes before heading to work, or because he has always done it, and old habits die hard. He may also like the way his mom fixes breakfast.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 28-year-old man who works hard at a full-time job and no longer lives with his parents. I've always been fairly independent and able to support myself without any problems.

When an unexpected expenditure came up, my family offered to help me pay for it and sent money. After debating it with myself for a few days, I accepted it. How can I reconcile taking their gracious gift when my independent nature was telling me not to? I don't want to come off as a mooch. -- OUT ON MY OWN IN PHILLY

DEAR OUT: Here's how: Remind yourself why you decided to accept the money, and realize that if your parents had considered you to be a "mooch," they wouldn't have volunteered to give it to you.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 40-year-old childless single woman. I spent several years doing various day care jobs and have great love for children, but due to female health issues, I am unable to have my own. I have a great job and home, but cannot afford fertility treatments or adoption, both of which are expensive.

My fertility issues have caused me heartbreak and many tears. My father often comments about how disappointed he is that he has no grandchildren. Recently, he made an offhand remark that I was "selfish" for not having had any. It upset me so much I cried for days. Dad is a good man, and I know he didn't mean to be hurtful.

How do I approach him about how his comment affected me without hurting him? I don't know how much detail to give him about my fertility issues. Should I just let it be and ignore him when he complains about not having grandkids? -- CHILDLESS IN IDAHO

DEAR CHILDLESS: Do not ignore this! Tell your father that you are unable to conceive because of a medical problem and exactly how his comment made you feel. You should also tell him you are unable to afford fertility treatments or adoption because of the cost involved, and not to raise the subject again because it is hurtful and beyond your ability to remedy. Perhaps you could channel your motherly instincts by exploring foster care and other ways you can help children in need.

DEAR ABBY: My husband left me for another woman four months ago. We had been married for 33 years, and my world has been ripped apart.

Now he says he wants to try to reconcile, and it has me feeling extremely confused. While I still love him, I know our relationship will never be the same as before. Will I look like a fool to everyone if I let him come home? -- HEARTBROKEN IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: How you look to "everyone" is far less important than how you feel. You are correct that if you reconcile, your relationship will never be the same. But has it occurred to you that it might be better?

Husbands stray for all kinds of reasons. Before you make any final decisions about taking him back, insist on counseling so you can understand exactly what they were. That's how broken marriages are repaired.

DEAR ABBY: I had friendships with both of my second cousins, "Tom" and "Jane," a brother and sister in their 60s. They have long been estranged from each other. Tom was estranged from his parents as well. Jane was their parents' caregiver.

Jane called me to say their father was near death and thought I would want to know. Then she said, "I'm not telling Tom, and I'm asking you to do the same." I told her it was an awkward request because I am friendly with him, too.

Well, I chose to tell him. Tom called his mother and it went well, after years of no communication. Jane has now cut me out of her life. Was I wrong to tell her brother? -- MIKE IN MEXICO

DEAR MIKE: Yes, I think it was wrong to have gone against the wishes of the daughter who had assumed the responsibility of caring for her aged parents. It's fortunate that the conversation went well, because it might not have.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 10 years, and he treats my family and friends very different compared to how he treats his own.

A few months ago, my sister called me at 9 p.m. She was driving through on her way to Florida with her 7-year-old daughter and had been trying for an hour to find a hotel at that point. We were only 40 minutes away, so I told her she could stay the night with us. When I told my husband afterward, he flipped out because I didn't ask his permission first.

I have never invited anyone to stay with us before. My family lives far away, but I didn't think it was a big deal to extend the invite because he constantly tells his family and friends they are always welcome. Today he informed me his son is coming to stay a week with his wife and 6-month-old (two weeks from now!).

Am I wrong to feel that if there is a rule, it should apply to both of us, and he should have asked me first? -- HOUSE RULES IN FLORIDA

DEAR HOUSE RULES: No, you're not wrong. Because your husband is such a stickler for "asking permission" before inviting relatives to stay, that same courtesy should have been extended to you.

House rules are supposed to be followed by everyone who lives in the household. There seems to be an imbalance of power in yours. Be smart. Talk with a licensed counselor about how to deal with your husband because unless you do, you'll spend the rest of your life playing second fiddle to a controlling, emotional bully.

DEAR ABBY: One of my longtime friends has become extremely religious. I have nothing against religion, but I am non-practicing, although I do believe in something greater. My problem is, now whenever we talk, text, Facebook page and Skype (with our children), everything is about God, religion, how He has a plan for us, etc.

I don't want to offend her, but my son and I do not need to constantly hear about her religious beliefs. My husband and I are raising our son to be a kind, honest person, but are letting him choose what religion (if any) he wants to be a part of when he grows up.

Although we now have only a long-distance friendship (I had to move away), this has put a strain on it because I haven't said anything. What should I do? How should I handle it? -- NON-OBSERVANT IN ONTARIO, CANADA

DEAR NON-OBSERVANT: The woman means well, so don't be defensive. But do speak up and tell her -- nicely -- that while you understand religion has become an important part of her life, you would prefer she leave the subject out of your conversations.

Unless trying to convert people is a part of her religion, she will respect your wishes. However, if she doesn't, you will have to decide whether it's worth the annoyance to continue this long-distance relationship.