DEAR ABBY: I'm a pansexual female and open about it with my friend and also my brother. The rest of my family is super Christian. I tried to bring up the "gay" word, but they're all against it and have strong opinions about the subject.

I just want to feel accepted for who I am, and not keep anything from them. I need your opinion on when I should tell them -- or should I just not tell them at all? Your help would be appreciated. -- PANSEXUAL IN THE USA

DEAR PANSEXUAL: According to Wikipedia, the definition of pansexuality is "the sexual, romantic or emotional attraction toward people regardless of their sex or gender identity." While it may be empowering for you to disclose this information, it should be clear to you that your family -- with the exception of your brother -- is not open to hearing it. Respect that.

However, you are free to live your life, so live it and be happy. You do not need their approval and you shouldn't let their approval -- or lack thereof -- affect how you live.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I own a coloring business. We color unicorns and rainbows and other pictures. They are beautiful and sell well.

Recently, my mother-in-law started begging us to let her join our team. Abby, I'm sure she would do fine and that she could color within the lines, but we do not need any help.

My husband suggested hiring her to run errands -- to buy crayons and coloring books, perhaps -- but I doubt she would be satisfied with that. I love our company as it is now. What do you think we should do? -- COLORING FOR YOU

DEAR C.F.Y.: Because you love your company "as it is now," do not hire your mother-in-law to fill a job that doesn't need filling. To do so would be a recipe for disaster, because getting rid of her would cause lasting hard feelings. Instead, you and your husband should explain that "the company" doesn't need another colorist right now, and see if you can help her find a part-time job elsewhere if she needs money or has time to fill.

DEAR ABBY: We recently lost a beloved family member. My question is, how long do I wait before we deactivate his email and Facebook accounts? Some people say immediately, or wait a year. Others have said to leave them active indefinitely.

Do I need to send a message to his Facebook friends in advance? Also, would it be offensive or tacky if I downloaded pictures from his Facebook account and cellphone before we deactivate everything? There are some pictures of my nieces and nephews I would like to keep. -- HOW LONG DO I WAIT?

DEAR HOW LONG: There are no hard and fast rules covering a situation like this. Some people deactivate the accounts immediately. Others leave them live indefinitely. However, you might wish to post a comment to the effect that, "For those friends who might not know, our beloved 'Joe' passed away on (date of death)."

DEAR ABBY: My workplace, like many others, is "scent-free" because of the possibility that some employees might be chemically sensitive. We don't know of anyone with sensitivities, but it's company policy. I changed to using unscented laundry soap and stopped wearing perfume when the policy started.

The other day, a lady in my office came in and announced loudly that there was a "terrible perfume smell" in the corridor. After what I think was intrusive sniffing, she decided it was coming from me. I had showered that morning and the only things it could have been were my shampoo, hair spray or body soap. All are normal, everyday brands, not unusually perfumy ones.

There was a lot of complaining and a "reminder" of the policy. It's unlikely that HR would take this up, but am I obligated to change these products? I don't want to because this feels like it's going too far to dictate what soap I can use. I should be able to choose the basic products I put on my body.

I'm also unhappy with the "sniff police." What should I do if she does that again? -- PERFUME SMELL IN ST. PAUL

DEAR P.S.: If it happens again, go to HR and have them explain the policy. I suspect that what it refers to is perfume, which some people are allergic to. However, if it's for more than that, then I agree the policy is heavy-handed and needs to be clarified so that everyone can clearly understand it.

DEAR ABBY: My husband was married before for 20 years. We have been married for 30 years. We get along great, except lately he has been bringing out his jewelry from his previous marriage. The items consist of a wedding ring, watch, etc.

He doesn't hide them. He shows them off to me. When I tell him how much this hurts me, he says they will be worth something in cash someday. If I bring a piece of jewelry out that I would like him to wear, he runs and gets a piece that his ex gave him, places them side by side and compares them!

I'm so mad I have stopped speaking to him, which makes him very upset and sometimes he cries. Please give us your advice. -- SILENT AND STEAMING IN VIRGINIA

DEAR SILENT AND STEAMING: Unlike you, your husband obviously isn't sentimental about jewelry. If he likes it, he likes it, and he doesn't care where it came from. This would explain why he compares the items side by side, which is insensitive.

You need to discuss this with him at a time when you're not upset. Giving someone the silent treatment is not an effective way to communicate, nor is it a healthy way to solve problems.

The next time your husband says that "one day that jewelry will be worth something," ask him if he means after he dies or you do -- and suggest that now may be the time for him to sell it.

DEAR READERS: Along with the millions of Americans who are observing this Memorial Day, I would like to add my prayer of thanks for those men and women who sacrificed their lives in service to our country. May they rest in peace. -- ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I have a step tracker. I am dedicated to getting in at least 10,000 steps every day, most of them walking around inside my office building at lunch. I walk quickly, often with headphones on. My problem is, I'm constantly confronted by people who stop me wanting to chat.

I honestly don't have time to talk to these people because I need my steps. My exercise is important to me. Furthermore, lunchtime is my time to be alone and de-stress before returning to the workday.

I don't think I should have to leave the premises to walk. Staying in the building ensures that I have the entire hour to walk in air-conditioned comfort.

How can I politely tell these people I don't have time to talk? I've said, "Sorry. I need to get my steps!" only to get confused looks and questions about what I mean and how the tracking works, which sets me back by precious minutes. Any advice? -- GETTING TO STEPPING IN AUSTIN

DEAR GETTING: Yes. All you have to say is, "This is my time to exercise," and keep walking. Eventually, word will get around, and you'll have fewer interruptions. Your mistake may be in mentioning "10,000 steps."

DEAR ABBY: I never expected to be writing to you, but I am frustrated. My husband, who is a great guy, sniffles constantly. He gets very annoyed with me when I call it to his attention and says I should just get used to it.

He does it at home and in the car. He doesn't have a cold or a runny nose. I notice when we are out socially, he doesn't sniffle the entire time. I have tried to ignore it, but frankly it's the most irritating sound.

I read recently that there are three top irritating sounds, and sniffling is one of them. I showed the article to my husband, but he shrugged it off. I usually know how to handle situations, but I'm stumped with this one. Hope you don't think my letter is nothing to sniff at. -- MISERABLE IN MASS.

DEAR MISERABLE: If your husband hasn't discussed this with his doctor, he should. It's possible that he has a chronic sinus condition or allergies, and his problem could be easily corrected. It could also be a nervous habit. However, there is no chance that the sniffling will stop unless he's willing to seek treatment. I wish you luck in convincing him.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 23-year-old girl who is still a virgin. I haven't had a real kiss or dated, either. My mom and friends think it's because I read a lot of romance novels and imagine something like that happening to me. Are they right? Will I ever find love? -- HOPELESS ROMANTIC

DEAR HOPELESS ROMANTIC: You probably will find love eventually. However, before you can do that, you will first have to spend less time reading and more time meeting men and making friends, and stop expecting them to live up to your fantasies.