DEAR ABBY: I have a super-sensitive adult child who calls me regularly to criticize another sibling. Mothers do not like to hear their children being criticized by anyone -- including their siblings. It's hurtful, no matter who does it.

I'm an old lady, and I don't need this stress. I love all my children. They all are successful people with friends who seem to admire them. I suspect there may be some jealousy involved in these complaints. Suggesting counseling would make me the "bad guy."

I need a miracle and a prayer because I have gone to my knees over this. Any advice for me, Abby? -- STILL THEIR MOM

DEAR STILL: I sure do. Your mistake has been allowing yourself to be a dumping ground for your disgruntled adult child. The next time it happens, tell him or her you no longer want to hear those criticisms because they are so painful that they drive you to your knees.

If your "child" doesn't stop the critical comments, be the bad guy and suggest either counseling or that the complainer address those comments directly to the target. And when you do, point out that we can't change other people, but we can change the way we react to them.

DEAR ABBY: Halloween is approaching. Years ago, when my sons were in preschool, their teacher told parents about the "Candy Witch." She said most kids -- especially little ones -- like wearing costumes and going trick-or-treating. However, getting the candy is not as important.

She suggested parents have their kids pick out 10 pieces of candy and leave the rest out for the Candy Witch. In return, the next morning they would find a little toy (or a new book or school supply) left for them. It would be up to the parents to decide what to do with the leftover candy.

We did this for many years, and there was never an argument over how much candy our kids would eat. I hope you agree this is a helpful suggestion. -- LOVES THE CANDY WITCH IN ALBUQUERQUE

DEAR LOVES: Not only do I agree, but I'm also sure any parent whose child has overdosed on sugar will too. Thanks for sharing it.

DEAR ABBY: Please let your readers know that it's not OK to floss their teeth after eating at their office desk, or in front of others while making conversation. It's disgusting! Their keyboards are covered with the debris. I'm sure you will agree with me. -- GROSSED OUT IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR GROSSED OUT: You bet I do. Oral hygiene should be taken care of in the restroom, not while standing in front of other people and conversing. And the sink should be rinsed and wiped out afterward. To floss while talking to someone could result in particles of food hitting the other person.

One would think common sense would discourage individuals from flossing at their computers, but if common sense is in short supply, perhaps your supervisor or your employer could "remind" the offenders that the equipment belongs to the company and needs to be treated with respect.

DEAR ABBY: Please help with some advice regarding my children. My almost-ex-wife filed for divorce while asking me to "work on myself." She refused counseling despite our 17 years of marriage and two children, ages 12 and 10. While I was out of our family home -- at her request -- she was dating a married (unemployed) man who has a child of his own. Our daughter eventually told me what was going on, which was very hard for her.

My wife then moved into a rental house. She and the boyfriend are still legally married because the divorces aren't final. Now she's imposing him on our children at the rental house. She also brings him to their sporting events even though it makes the children and other team parents uncomfortable. Is it appropriate that she expose our kids to her dating situation? -- STAY CLASSY IN THE WEST

DEAR STAY CLASSY: Nothing you or I can say to your almost-ex is going to change what she's doing. And no, what has been going on with her and her lover is not "appropriate."

Please continue to be as supportive of your children as you can be. You should also talk to your lawyer about their custody, because your wife is going to have her hands full supporting this new man in her life, which may mean she has less time to spend with them.

DEAR ABBY: I'm an 11-year-old girl. I just started middle school (sixth grade). The girls in my class have been together since pre-K.

Although I'm new to the school, I knew two of the girls from before. They are very nice and have accepted me. The problem is that they are the "leaders" of two separate groups. During my lunch/recess they each want me to sit with them. How do I do this without hurting any feelings? -- NEW KID AT SCHOOL

DEAR NEW KID: As you said, you are new to the school. For the time being, alternate sitting with each group. Be friendly to everyone, regardless of which group they belong to. And while you're at it, do the same with classmates who aren't members of either group. In time, you will figure out where you are more comfortable.

DEAR ABBY: I have a set of china I inherited from my mother. I don't have children, and my niece and nephew (brother's side) are estranged from the family. My brother has been raising his now 14-year-old granddaughter from infancy. Have you any ideas on what to do with the dishes? -- UNSURE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR UNSURE: Yes, I do. In the past I have received letters from frustrated readers telling me they offered treasured family items -- china, crystal, antique furniture -- to young relatives, only to have them refused because "they weren't their style." Because the china has sentimental value for you, why don't you start using it? However, if it isn't your style either, consider selling or donating it.

DEAR ABBY: Yesterday I was in a retail store with my service dog. The clerk asked me what kind of service dog she was and I replied, "She's my service dog." She kept pressing me as to exactly why I have one, so I asked her if she was inquiring about my disability. When she said, "Yes," I politely informed her that federal HIPAA laws protect my right to privacy. She then said -- loud enough for everyone in the store to hear -- "I don't know what the big deal is. I just want to know what the dog does for you."

Please let your readers know how to be around a person and their service animal:

1. You do not have the right to ask about the person's disability. To do so is rude. Most people prefer strangers not know their medical condition. The dog may be for PTSD, a hearing or seeing dog, or to alert the person to a medical emergency.

2. Children (and adults) need to understand that when service animals' jackets go on, the dogs know it's time to go to "work," and they take their job seriously. At that point, they are not pets and should not be treated as such. If a child rushes a service dog, the animal may react badly because it is there to protect its person.

3. You may ask to pet the dog, but don't assume it will be allowed. If given permission, the dog should be scratched under the chin only.

Service animals know their place. It's a shame that most people are not as polite. -- NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

DEAR N.O.Y.B.: Thank you for sharing this information. According to the Americans With Disabilities Act website (ada.gov): "Businesses may ask if an animal is a service animal or ask what tasks the animal has been trained to perform, but cannot require special ID cards for the animal or ask about the person's disability."

DEAR ABBY: I have been friends with a woman for the last 30 years. Our children are the same age. My daughter, who is in her late 20s, has a number of tattoos on her arm that she can cover with clothing if she chooses. However, she doesn't cover them often because she likes them and they mean something to her.

Recently, I showed my friend a picture of my daughter that showed one of the tattoos on her upper arm. My friend said, "Oh, I am so sorry about the tattoo," and proceeded to cover the tattoo with her hand, implying that my daughter would be attractive if it weren't for the body art. I was shocked.

I have always been supportive of my friend's children and have never criticized any of them, even though I haven't agreed with everything they have done. I was so hurt by her comment that I was speechless. I'm not sure I can continue the relationship feeling this way. But I'm hesitant to lose a 30-year friendship over something I might be overblowing. Am I being too sensitive? How do I resolve this? -- COMPLETELY THROWN BY THIS

DEAR THROWN: For a friendship of 30 years to end over one thoughtless comment would be sad for both of you. Sometimes people say things without thinking, and this is an example. Resolve your feelings by talking to her in person and telling her how deeply hurt you were by what she said. It will give her the chance to apologize and make amends.