DEAR ABBY: When I was 70, I started taking drama classes twice a week (I still do). My wife was against it and insisted that because none of our friends or relatives were doing it, neither should I. As a result, I suggested we live apart. I bought a small apartment and live alone. We see each other regularly, go to the cinema, the theater, visiting friends, vacation, etc.

Every now and then she raises the topic again, saying she feels "betrayed, offended, abandoned" and suggests we stop seeing each other for two to three days "so she can recover from the pain I inflict on her."

I don't think I am doing anything wrong here. I'm not cheating on her, and she knows that and doesn't accuse me explicitly. I think she is jealous and distrustful because the women taking the classes are beautiful and not because of anything I have done. What do you think? -- FRUSTRATED IN BULGARIA

DEAR FRUSTRATED: What I think is, not having heard your wife's side of it from her, your insight may be correct. However, before accepting the guilt trip she is laying on you, remember that since you moved out she hasn't invited you to move back in.

DEAR ABBY: My older brother and I are eight years apart. I am in my mid-20s, and he is in his early 30s. Our personalities and outlook on life are completely opposite. We have different fathers but grew up in the same household, so naturally, we went to the same outings together until he was a teenager and we took different paths.

Looking at him now, I see he is an angry and burdened person compared to his early teenage years, even his 20s. He has always had two serious interests, science and poetry. Although he loved them while he attended school, he no longer has the same fire in his belly. In fact, there's no pep in his step about anything, just frustration. How can I lift his spirits without pressuring him? -- LIGHTING THE FIRE

DEAR LIGHTING: Could it be your brother's behavior is simply that of a man who has reached his 30s, has matured and is more of a realist than he was in his early teens? Consider telling him you have noticed his personality has changed from when he was younger -- that he seems angry, burdened and frustrated. Then listen. He may or may not be depressed. If, after hearing him out, you are still concerned, suggest he do something about what's bothering him by talking with a counselor, preferably one who is licensed.

DEAR ABBY: I just found out my married son had an affair, and the woman may be pregnant. If she is, do we acknowledge the baby as our grandchild? And what's the right thing to do if my son and his wife stay together? -- COMPLICATED IN THE NORTH

DEAR COMPLICATED: If a paternity test proves the baby is your son's, he will have a legal obligation to support the child until he or she is no longer a minor. If your son and his wife remain together -- and many couples do -- his wife may prefer he have as little to do with the mother and child as possible. However, if you would like to be part of your grandchild's life, it is your privilege to do so.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is graduating from high school and will be starting college. It was always her plan to go to a school away from our small town, and I supported that decision. However, six months ago she started dating her first real boyfriend.

His parents have offered to pay all expenses if the two of them live in an apartment and go to school at a college nearby. Financially, this would be very helpful for my daughter, but I'm worried that moving in with a boy at such a young age would be a mistake, and she wouldn't get the full college experience.

Her boyfriend is wonderful, and she is very happy in the relationship. She has a scholarship for free room and board at a college three hours away. I can tell she's very conflicted. What do you think I should encourage her to do? -- STUDENT'S MOM IN MISSOURI

DEAR STUDENT'S MOM: Your concerns are valid. The boyfriend's parents made a generous offer, but although your daughter may be crazy about their son, she should not accept it.

She and this young man are starting new chapters in their lives. They will be meeting people and forming all kinds of new relationships. Forgive me for seeming negative, but what if the romance sours? Will his parents still be willing to pay for room, board and your daughter's education at the same college?

Your daughter has earned her scholarship. Three hours' distance isn't insurmountable. They can still see each other if they wish. But the separation will allow them more time to concentrate on their studies as well as enjoy the full college experience.

DEAR ABBY: We seem to be living in a time of instant gratification. I'm talking about cellphones. People think they must answer their cellphone no matter what. It's ridiculous.

When I call someone and they answer, I start talking only to be interrupted with something like, "I'm involved in something right now. Call you back!" Once, an employer told me she was in the bathtub.

My question is, why are these people answering in the first place? If you can't talk, let it go to voicemail. Unless you think I'm calling to give you money -- a lot of money -- the conversation can probably wait 10 minutes. What do you think? -- HOLDING THE PHONE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR HOLDING THE PHONE: I agree. You'll get no argument from me.

DEAR ABBY: My parents smoke weed and do other drugs, and I have no idea what to do. They scream and yell at us daily. There are four of us. I don't know if we should turn them in so we can live in a better environment or just accept it. I need your opinion so I do what is right. -- ANONYMOUS GIRL IN INDIANA

DEAR ANONYMOUS GIRL: No child should be subjected to this. It's unhealthy for you and your siblings to be living with drug-addicted adults who are unable to control their emotions. If there are relatives who can take you in -- grandparents, aunts, uncles -- talk to them about it. However, if that's not possible, tell a teacher or school counselor what's happening at home or call child protective services yourself.

DEAR ABBY: I'm the youngest of four sisters. The oldest sister is the only one who has children -- three girls under the age of 12. I'm a high school teacher who works about 60 hours a week during the school year between teaching, grading, attending meetings, completing paperwork, tutoring before and after school, and planning lessons.

My second-oldest sister wants to plan an elaborate road trip this summer that involves renting an RV and driving cross-country with our nieces to visit Disneyland. She feels that since I have the summer off, I should be more than happy to go on this trek.

I love my students and nieces, but by the time summer rolls around, the last thing I want to do is spend a week or more in a camper with kids. I told her I have some summer training to go to, which is true, hoping she would drop the subject. She hasn't. I don't want my sister's or my nieces' feelings to be hurt, but I flat-out don't want to do this. What can I tell them? -- SWEATING IT OUT IN THE SOUTH

DEAR SWEATING IT OUT: Forgive me if this is blasphemy, but Disneyland isn't everyone's cup of tea. That's why it's time to tell your sisters the truth. You deserve a child-free summer break if you want one, and that fact should not be regarded as a personal insult to anyone.

DEAR ABBY: I have worked with a woman for a little more than a year. Her daughter is having a baby. I have never met her daughter, but hear only negative stories about her and her boyfriend, who both live with this co-worker.

Today in the mail I received an invitation to this daughter's baby shower. I was told by another co-worker that we all (seven office people) are invited, although none of us have ever met her. I am surprised the woman I work with would do this. Does it seem strange to you, and should I feel guilty because I have no desire to go? Because of the invite, I feel I "should" give a small gift, but I'm sort of miffed about it. If you were me, how would you handle this? -- CONFUSED CO-WORKER

DEAR CONFUSED: The daughter and her boyfriend are living with your co-worker because they don't have enough money to live on their own. I don't know the reason for that, and neither do you. It's fair to assume that they will need things for their baby. I agree that by sending you an invitation to the shower, she has put you on the spot, but I can understand her doing it.

If I were you, in the interest of solidarity as well as charity, I would send a small baby gift -- or consider a group gift with your other co-workers. Because I had heard nothing positive about the mother-to-be, I would send with it my regrets for being unable to attend.

DEAR ABBY: After I retired, I wrote a book. I sent a copy to old friends at no charge. Upon receipt, they gave lukewarm thanks and criticized me for not personalizing it by handwriting a few words to them.

How should I deal with these people who often tend to criticize? -- PUZZLED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR PUZZLED: Some people feel that an inscription in a book makes it a more personal gift. That said, "deal" with it by accepting the criticism graciously and offer to autograph your book for them if they will return it to you.