DEAR ABBY: My daughter recently informed me that she has met someone and the someone happens to be a woman. My reaction was, of course, shock and anger, although I have kind of suspected over the years that she is a lesbian.

She is 43 and was married for 10 years. She has two children and has been divorced for about 11 years now. She dated a few guys, but either had no luck with them or it didn't last.

I don't know how to handle this because I'm against people being gay. I see it as unnatural and think they all have issues. I don't treat gay people any different from anyone else, but I do keep them at a distance. Now I don't know how to proceed with our relationship. Please help. -- SHOCKED AND ANGRY MOM

DEAR S. AND A.: I'll try. While you may be angry, because you have long suspected that your daughter might be a lesbian you cannot now claim to be shocked. One reason gay people have "issues," as you put it, is because they have to endure opposition and nonacceptance from the family members they love. Your 43-year-old daughter has spent years not being who she really is -- possibly to please you -- and now has realized she must be her authentic self.

If you want any relationship at all with her, apologize and tell her you overreacted. Tell her you love her and explain that you may need time to fully accept this. Wish her well and hope that she forgives you.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 31-year-old mother of two -- a 3-year-old and a 2-month-old. My children have the same father. We co-parent, which has its ups and downs (more downs). We have been friends with benefits for five years, longer than we were a true couple.

Recently I found out he has introduced our kids to another woman he's dating. I feel hurt because I have feelings for him that I can't let go of. How do I keep from falling apart from the loss of the only relationship I know? I know it's over, but I can't help hoping we will get back together. -- HOPELESSLY IN LOVE

DEAR HOPELESSLY IN LOVE: Because you must interact with him regularly, it may not be easy. A step in the right direction would be to stop stowing your own emotional life in the deep freeze waiting for him to come back.

Because it may take a dose of reality to regain control of your emotions, ask him to level with you about why your relationship didn't lead to marriage. Something important was missing or it would have happened when you had his first child. His response to your question should give you clarity.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a man in my mid-60s. Recently, I had to put my elderly cat, "Taffy," to sleep. I loved her. When the vet asked if I would like some of her ashes, I didn't want to take them home. Instead, I filled a jelly jar with her fur. (She had long hair and I had, for a year, been stuffing the fur I removed from her brush every night into a shoebox.) As a memorial to my beloved Taffy, I added some of her favorite kibble to the hair jar, and it now sits on her favorite window sill. You be the judge -- cute or creepy? -- CAT FANCIER IN FLORIDA

DEAR CAT FANCIER: It is neither. It is the way you have chosen to cope with a painful loss, and you shouldn't be judged -- or judge yourself -- harshly for it. My condolences for your loss.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a married woman in my 30s. My husband and I own a home, which I have decorated to our taste with the exception of "my" bathroom. My husband and I use separate bathrooms. Mine is the one on the main floor, which is also used by our guests.

A few months ago, I purchased a large piece of art to hang in my bathroom. Admittedly, it is a bit provocative, but I don't consider it to be over the top. My husband said he didn't care that I hung it, but when his father came to visit recently, he took it down and hid it. I didn't say anything, but I now feel he is embarrassed by my taste.

I'm hosting a couples baby shower in a few weeks, and one of the guests is very religious. My husband suggests I hang the artwork somewhere else or hide it for the party. I don't feel I should have to redecorate a room in my own home. Am I being unreasonable, or should I find a less provocative piece of art to hang for our more conservative guests? -- FINE ART LOVER

DEAR FINE ART LOVER: While your home is your castle, surely you want your friends and family to be comfortable in it while they visit you.

Years ago, I bought an original work of art by Patrick Oliphant titled "Naked Nixon," which I hung over the toilet in my powder room. While entertaining guests I knew were politically conservative, I switched it out for a print of long-stemmed flowers. If you know there's a possibility someone will be offended while using a room that's a "necessity," the polite thing to do would be to listen to your husband.

DEAR ABBY: We invited friends over for dinner. Because they have toddlers who like to eat early, we started meal preparations accordingly. One hour before they were to arrive, the wife canceled because her daughter was "cranky." She said she wanted to reschedule for two days later. Since the food was already prepared, we now have leftovers that will last for days.

I don't want to go shopping again because I feel like she already stood us up, and I know she can't host us for now because she lives with her parents. What's proper notice when canceling a dinner date? How should we as hosts handle her request to come over a different day, especially so close to the event? -- MIFFED AFTER DINNER

DEAR MIFFED: Because she lives with her parents, your guest could have left her cranky daughter with "Nana" and "Poppy." Barring illness, the "proper" time to cancel would have been before you bought groceries for the dinner. However, with small children, things do happen, so be forgiving. Because she's a good friend, put the food you prepared in the fridge for two days and serve it when she shows up. (It may taste better after the flavors meld.)

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DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend's best friend asked if we could drive an hour to visit them and their children on Saturday. I've met her twice, and we have chatted a bit online. I have met her fiance only once.

My boyfriend just told me she wants to take off with him to a bar for a birthday drink -- or two -- while I stay at home with her fiance. When I heard about it, I said I am not OK with being excluded. He understood and agreed they would take a walk around the block instead.

When I texted her saying I didn't want to be ditched, she insisted that I need to share him, and her fiance is looking forward to getting to know me better. She also tried to guilt me, saying it's her birthday weekend.

I think she's rude. I've never been to their house, and I'm not friends with her fiance. When you invite a couple over, I believe the expectation is to socialize as a group, not break off. I also think it should have been a request versus something I was told is happening. If she wants to spend time with my boyfriend, they should make separate plans. Can you please weigh in on the etiquette? -- UNEXPECTED PLANS IN THE EAST

DEAR UNEXPECTED: You appear to be the "new kid on the block," while your boyfriend, his best friend and the fiance have known one another a long time. The purpose of getting together is for all concerned to have an enjoyable time. If you wouldn't feel comfortable in the situation as it was described, you shouldn't have been pressured to agree, regardless of whether it's her birthday weekend. She was wrong to do that, and yes, it was rude.

DEAR ABBY: My son was in a serious accident, which left him with a head injury as well as other physical problems. Since then he has also had anxiety attacks, paranoia and a profound dislike of me. We went from a close relationship to a shattered one, and I don't know why. He has said horrible things about me to other family members, none of which are true. His wife is clueless. She has exacerbated the situation by viewing this as "his side vs. my side."

My other children are angry at them both and want to just ignore him. They stay in contact with him because I beg them not to abandon him. Unfortunately, due to confidentiality regulations, I am unable to speak to his doctors. We have had no contact for three months, and I won't initiate it. I love him and this is breaking my heart. Please advise me. -- UNHAPPY MAMA IN THE WEST

DEAR UNHAPPY MAMA: My heart goes out to you. I can only imagine how pained and helpless you must feel because of your son's traumatic brain injury. I wish I had a magic wand and could make this unfortunate situation go away, but I do have a suggestion. Although HIPAA regulations prevent you from speaking with his doctors, nothing prevents you from writing them a letter if you think there's something they need to know.

You'd be wise to seek professional counseling for yourself now. No one can predict whether your son will regain his emotional balance, and it's important you have all the emotional support you need for your loss. In a very real sense, it is a loss, the loss of the son you knew. A licensed therapist can give you insight on how to move forward.