DEAR ABBY: I have guardianship of my 12-year-old grandson. He has recently fallen head over heels for a girl in his class and wants to date her. I am out of touch with the younger generation, and I'm not sure how to answer his questions, like, "Does the boy or girl initiate the kiss?" I would appreciate knowing about any pamphlets or brochures you have for sale on this subject. Thank you. -- MARGARET O. IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR MARGARET: Kids are maturing at younger ages than when we were growing up. Part of the reason may be that television, movies and the internet have exposed them to subjects we were not when we were their age. That said, not all of the information they receive from the media and their friends is accurate.

I'm glad you asked because I have a booklet that may be helpful. It's titled "What Every Teen Should Know," and it's filled with information on subjects such as, "How to know when you're ready to date," "Are you ready for sex?" "How old must a boy be before he can father a child?" and "Can a girl get pregnant the first time she has sex?"

A section on sexually transmitted diseases is also included. Because STDs need to be treated right away and ignoring or not recognizing the symptoms can have lifelong consequences, there is a list of the various STDs and what to do if you have one. You can order a booklet by sending your name and address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to Dear Abby Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL, 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. The Teen booklet has been distributed in doctors' offices and used to promote discussions by educators and religious leaders, as well as parents who find it hard to discuss these topics with their children.

Review it before giving it to your grandson, so you can prepare beforehand to answer his questions or guide the conversation. The more information you can give him, the better prepared he will be to make intelligent decisions in the important years that lie ahead.

DEAR ABBY: I am in my 80s. From time to time, when I have tried to contact a dear old friend or distant relative, I find they have recently passed away. Don't you think it would be a good idea for older people to make a short list of people we want contacted in case of serious illness or death? So many times our survivors have no idea who some of our friends are or how to contact them. -- GARY G. IN GEORGIA

DEAR GARY: I think your idea is a sensible one. The list should include not only names, but also contact information. Thank you for sharing this with me and my readers because -- let's face it -- nobody lives forever.

DEAR ABBY: I am a diagnosed narcoleptic. Medication helps with the symptoms, but not entirely. I looked into alternative options and found a fantastic diet. I recently went on it with amazing results.

My dad's side of the family is Italian, and a huge part of the culture is food. During celebrations, it's considered offensive to refuse food, and my family has always looked down on diets. If a family member is on one, they'll argue that it's a special occasion and it's only for one day.

Abby, I'm exhausted at family gatherings. If I try to turn something down, I get attacked because "Grandma made it," or "It's your favorite and we made it for you." I have tried explaining to them that I don't want them to alter their dinner arrangements to accommodate me, but I should be allowed to forgo eating foods that will make me feel like a zombie. They just don't get it, and it has caused arguments. How do I re-open this discussion without offending anyone? -- PANICKED OVER PASTA

DEAR P. OVER P.: Do it before the celebration by calling your hosting family member and explaining that there are now foods you cannot eat because of your diagnosed medical condition. Explain that you know they would not feed certain foods to a diabetic, and you need the same dispensation. Ask them to kindly not put you in the embarrassing position of having to refuse their delicious food, and if they feel it will cause a problem, they should excuse you from the event.

DEAR ABBY: Six months ago, my friend "Lindy's" husband committed suicide. I have been there for her and understand it takes time, but I'm reaching my limit.

I make plans with her for dinners at our home and at restaurants and have planned various outings, because I know it's difficult to be in the house alone. However, she constantly manipulates, yells at me when she doesn't get her way, and uses the loss of her husband as a rationale for why I and others must do what she wants regardless of what's happening in our own lives, and expects us to tolerate this behavior.

Because of the circumstances, I have given her several passes on the disgusting behavior she has displayed, and have gently spoken up on some occasions when she went too far. She's pushing people away and quite vicious about it, but doesn't see that she's doing it to herself. How long must I tolerate her grieving process before enough is enough? -- CONFUSED IN NEW YORK

DEAR CONFUSED: Lindy is not only grieving the loss of her husband, but raging because of what caused it. She's a "survivor of suicide," and the conflicting emotions -- including anger and guilt -- she's carrying can make a person sick. If she isn't receiving grief counseling, urge her to find some before she destroys her support system entirely. When Lindy becomes manipulative or abusive, you are within your rights to call her on it and take a step back. For your own sake, you shouldn't continue to allow her to mistreat you.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter has graduated from high school. She had been in a residential treatment program for depression the year and a half prior to returning to this school. Her old friends had promised to be there for her when she returned.

After she was back for three months, her friends stopped inviting her to things and even talked behind her back in a group chat that was started by a different group. The girls' moms knew some of this was going on and did nothing about it. It has been a difficult journey for my daughter as well as for me.

Now that the girls have all graduated, I'm wondering if I should contact any of them or their moms and ask what happened. It was painful for me to watch my daughter go through weekends when her "friends" were out at parties she wasn't invited to. It was heartbreaking when no one came to her holiday or birthday parties. I am wondering if asking the girls/moms for an explanation can help my daughter learn from it. Please let me know what you think. -- MAMA BEAR OUT WEST

DEAR MAMA BEAR: Your daughter has survived high school, and along with it the cruel treatment of the girls who promised to befriend her. For that, I congratulate her.

Teenagers can be so completely centered on themselves that the feelings of others do not exist for them. Also, girls in high school tend to form cliques. Add to that the fact that there is so much misunderstanding about mental illness -- not only among teens but also adults -- and I have a pretty good idea of what happened and so should you.

What life lesson do you think exploring this with the other parents will accomplish for your daughter? Your efforts would be better spent by continuing to emotionally support her and encouraging her to move forward with her life.

DEAR ABBY: My husband's family is full of people who drink too much and then act like fools, slurring their words, stumbling and vomiting. It happens at many gatherings, and it stresses me out.

They often pressure me to drink more and/or get drunk. Because I don't do it, I feel ostracized at these gatherings where I'm told I need to "loosen up" or "cheer up" by drinking more. No one else in my life thinks I'm uptight. I'm normally very sociable.

These days, I avoid those family gatherings as often as possible, but I'm afraid I'm courting more problems by not participating in family activities. My relationship with my husband is fantastic, and he understands and supports me, but I don't feel like his family does. I've tried to be frank with them, but the conversations don't seem to stick. I can't avoid my husband's family forever. What to do? -- IN THE MINORITY IN LOUISIANA

DEAR MINORITY: Because you have told your in-laws that being urged to drink makes you uncomfortable yet they persist, you are doing all you can short of cutting off all contact with them. Continue to limit the times you attend those family events, and when asked about your absence, continue to be frank about the reason. Then hope they are sober enough to get the message when you deliver it.