DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have three teenagers -- 18, 16 and 14. My wife cooks for them every day or buys them fast food. I always eat leftovers, which the fridge is full of. Our children refuse to eat leftovers or cook for themselves, and they insist on having a freshly cooked meal every day.

Occasionally, my wife needs to work late and asks me to buy fast food for the children. I respond that I'll gladly cook for them or buy them fast food, but first they have to finish the leftovers in the fridge. My wife gets upset and accuses me of not caring about our children. Who is right? -- LEFTOVERS IN THE EAST

DEAR LEFTOVERS: I have a news flash for you. At the ages of 18, 16 and 14, your kids are no longer children; they are teenagers approaching adulthood. Rather than act like pushovers, you and your wife should be teaching them how to cook -- a skill they'll need if they are going to live healthy lives in the future.

Yes, they should finish the leftovers. Leftovers are usually better the second time around because the flavors have had more time to meld. No, they shouldn't be having fast food instead. If you and your wife care about your progeny, start assigning each of them an evening in which they prepare at least one dish, while you make sure they know how to do it. Stop arguing and start parenting!

DEAR ABBY: My fiance dumped me three months ago. We were together 4 1/2 years and engaged for almost a year. He started dating someone else the day after he broke up with me. He said it was because we had nothing in common anymore, and he no longer liked talking to me or touching me. We were engaged! He waited all that time to decide he no longer loves me?

How do I deal with my heartbreak and build myself back up again? And why in the world would he be dating someone new a day later? I don't want him back. As far as I'm concerned, he's a jerk, and I'll be better off without him. I just want to know how to deal with the confusion I have. -- HEARTBROKEN AND CONFUSED

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: Things don't always turn out the way we plan. I know you are hurting, and I am sorry. Start handling your heartbreak by being grateful you didn't devote even more time to a person who would treat you this way.

And to answer your question about how he could begin dating someone a day after he broke up with you, it's because he had his eye on her before ending the romance with you. If you think he has caught the brass ring this time around, think again. Few "frying pan into the fire" relationships are lasting ones. Consider this a new beginning and start living your life.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

The question now that really vexes

Is where we're gonna place our "X"es

Voting, folks, should not upset ya --

Be glad we're livin' where they let ya!

Readers, please use your voices. Go out and vote today! -- ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 34-year-old man who lives with my father, who is 76 years old. I'm currently without a job, but when I have one, I buy food and whatever else is needed for the house. I believe I'm doing my fair share.

I love my father dearly, but I can't stand him as a person. He can be very rude and verbally abusive. He has told people we know very personal things about me. When we're visiting family, if I ask for something to eat or drink, he'll answer, "No! You don't need anything." (I can tell that the relatives are annoyed by him, too.)

Dad played a major role in ruining a relationship with a woman I was dating. I don't invite any of my new friends over because I know he'll have something sarcastic to say. He also accuses me of not doing any cleaning around the house, but he fails to notice that I have done it at night while he was asleep.

I rarely converse with him because we have nothing in common. He takes almost no interest in what I have to say, even when I tell him about something I saw on TV. He says, "Well, you shouldn't be watching that." I keep my mouth shut because I need a place to live, but day by day, more and more, my rage is building, and I want to tell him off. Help, please. -- LIVING WITH A TYRANT

DEAR LIVING: Do not tell him off. Although you may be living "rent-free," you are paying plenty for the "privilege" of staying under his roof. It appears your father resents having you there as much as you dislike being there. Do whatever you can to find a job. When you do, save every penny. And, for the sake of your self-respect, move out as quickly as possible so you can start living a normal life. You may need to find a roommate, but anything would be better than this.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I took our granddaughters, 16 and 13, on a two-week cruise to Europe this past summer. We had a wonderful time with them. To make a long story short, the 16-year-old, "Megan," confided to us that she's afraid of failing.

She's a straight-A student and a perfectionist when it comes to her classes. We want to make sure we use the correct words with her. These girls are precious to us, and we're very close. Megan sent us an emotional thank-you note for the trip, as did her sister. She seems to do all the right things. We just don't want her to put excessive pressure on herself.

We're almost 80, and they keep us young. Those girls rock our world. Could you tell us how to handle this? -- LOVING GRANDMA IN ARIZONA

DEAR GRANDMA: Tell Megan that you love her and she rocks your world. Then assure her your feelings about her will never change regardless of whether she succeeds or fails at whatever she does. Nobody wants to fail, but most successful people will tell you they learned more from their failures than they did from their successes. Tell her that worse than failure is being so afraid that she isn't willing to try. Then advise her to talk to her parents about her fears, or a counselor at school if she needs more help.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 22-year-old, single male who recently graduated from college. I received lots of congratulations in person and by phone, text and social media.

One of them came from a woman my age named "Bree." When I responded, I didn't recall ever having friended her but learned she's a cousin who lives back east. Apparently, her mother and my father are siblings. When I asked my father about it, he got very defensive and told me whoever it was I spoke to is a complete and total liar. Ordinarily, I might have agreed, but his reaction tells me there's a lot more to this.

I want to find out more. Neither of my parents will say a word about it, and I don't know why. When I told them I plan to travel to the East Coast and meet Bree, I was told I may not be welcomed back if I do! This makes me wonder what horrible thing could have happened that would make a father consider disowning his son.

Because my father won't share the truth with me, I am left with only this option. Pursue this, find part of my family I never knew existed and learn something, but lose the family I have and regret it forever. Any insight? -- LOST COUSIN IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR COUSIN: I can offer insight, but not a roadmap for how to proceed. Family secrets can be devastating. That your father reacted so strongly shows how threatened he is that you might uncover something he isn't proud of.

As a college graduate, I am sure you are familiar with the myth about Pandora's box. While you may not lose your father if you delve into this, you may find that when you do, your image of him may be shattered. If you really feel you will "regret it forever" if you do, then make sure you are prepared for the possible penalty.

DEAR ABBY: My only son and his wife had their first baby recently. My daughter-in-law treats me terribly. She's hypercritical of what I do or say. I am usually so blindsided I don't have much of a reply.

When I attempted to help out with the laundry, cleaning, etc., I was met with more criticism and advice on how to perform those tasks. She also says I don't know how to properly hold an infant. Abby, I have raised five grown children! How can I change this situation? -- PUNISHED FOR WANTING TO HELP

DEAR PUNISHED: Remind your daughter-in-law that you're just trying to help her. She may not have been critical of your efforts as much as trying to convey how she would like those tasks done. However, if you can't please her, take the hint and stop offering.

She may be a nervous new mother, but she appears to have gone overboard to the point of being tactless. The next time she tells you you don't know how to hold a baby, point out that you managed to raise five of them safely to adulthood. Then back off and give her some space because she may be hormonal and need it.