DEAR ABBY: After two years of dating, my boyfriend and I recently got engaged. We're in our 30s and grew up in the same town. It will be a second marriage for both of us. We were each previously married close to 10 years. I have four children; he has none.

He loves my children like they are his own, and they love him. His family was nice to me at the beginning, thinking that it wouldn't last. I know they aren't fond of the fact I have four kids, and they think he should find a woman who doesn't have any.

We have been very happy together, but when we got engaged, his family got very upset because he didn't ask them how they felt or tell them he was going to do it. I think they would have discouraged it immediately.

I feel awful because he's very close with his family. He always backs me 100 percent, but I don't want to tear them apart. I don't want him to not want to see them. He's very family oriented, and it breaks my heart that he wants all of us to be close. They aren't outright rude, but they make me feel uncomfortable, like I'm not good enough for their son/brother.

All of a sudden, his brothers/sister and their spouses have stopped talking to me. They have deleted me on social media. We have never gotten into an argument or anything, so I'm at a loss. Should I marry him? -- GETTING THE COLD SHOULDER

DEAR GETTING: This is something you and your fiance must decide together with your eyes wide open. You say his family hasn't been outright rude, but I beg to differ. Making people feel uncomfortable, giving them the silent treatment and unfriending them is rude.

These appear to be extremely controlling people. You need to decide if you can coexist with in-laws like this, and your fiance needs to decide which family is more important -- the one he will form with you and your children, or the one he was born into. He may not be able to have both. You have my sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: I am a gay male in my late 20s, finishing up my grad school program. My boyfriend is older than I am by seven years. We met in 2017, but I suffered a loss in my family and was grieving for about six months. We met again over the summer and continued our relationship from June to the present.

He just texted me about the future, saying he wants children in a year or two. I am anxious and sad because this feels like a make-or-break decision. I do want children and think I will be a good father. However, a child is a huge responsibility, and I am well aware of that. I don't know how soon I'll be ready. I don't even know what the next year will bring. What say you, Dear Abby? -- LACKS CERTAINTY IN MINNESOTA

DEAR LACKS CERTAINTY: I say you need to return your boyfriend's text and tell him exactly what you have written to me. Your feelings are honest, and your thinking is clear. Now that you know where he stands, it is important he knows where you do.

That said, I'm surprised this subject was brought up in a text and not during a one-on-one conversation because of its importance.

DEAR ABBY: Something happened at work that has me traumatized. I work at a retirement house for a convent. The nuns are sweet, kind and easy to get along with. But last week while I was using the bathroom, a nun decided to be a Peeping Tom while I was on the toilet. She laughed at me in a taunting manner saying, "I can see you!" I screamed at her to stop, but she just kept looking and laughing at me. When she finally left, I was in shock.

I reported the nun to my supervisor as soon as I could, but later in the day I was still so humiliated and upset that I ended up having an anxiety attack. I can't stop thinking about it. It left me feeling disgusted with the nun and with myself.

I want to report her to the police, but I don't want drama at work. This is my only source of income. I need my job in order to provide for my kids, but I no longer feel comfortable working in a place where there are perverted nuns who don't respect people's privacy.

What do I do? I'm confused and angry, spending my days in my home crying and contemplating whether to file a police report. Please give me some advice. -- TRAUMATIZED IN THE EAST

DEAR TRAUMATIZED: I hope you realize that the behavior the retired nun exhibited is that of a 4-year-old. She may suffer from dementia. While the woman may have had good judgment in her younger years, clearly she does not now. It may be the reason she is living in that retirement community.

I'm curious about how your supervisor reacted when you told her what happened. If you cannot move beyond the trauma, talk to the director of the home and ask for counseling so you can regain some perspective. Filing a police report may not be the way to go.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are getting ready to retire. We are both employed and will have continued access to health insurance through our employers in retirement. My insurance covers her even if I predecease her, unless she remarries.

My wife now says she wants to carry her own health insurance because she feels she might want to remarry sometime after my death. Her new interest about remarrying bothers me, and I feel somewhat guilty about that.

What has me depressed is the question of who she would want to be buried beside -- her new husband or me. We have been married for 38 years, and the possibility of having a final resting place without her seems very lonely and like I am being rejected. It almost feels like a divorce. These are thoughts and feelings I can neither shake off nor rationalize. Your thoughts? -- LIFE GOES ON

DEAR LIFE GOES ON: Your wife is trying to keep her options open, which, although it isn't sentimental, makes sense. There are no guarantees that if you predecease her, she will be swept off her feet, so you may be worrying needlessly. If you haven't told her how you feel, it might put your mind at ease if you do.

DEAR ABBY: I am a single mom. A few months ago I met a man who contacted me on social media. After meeting him, I realized he was married, but he was not happy. Unfortunately, his wife has a terminal illness, and he feels obligated to care for her until it is over. We formed a very close bond as we talked and soon realized we are in love and want to be together.

Because of her illness and lack of support from her immediate family, we agreed that he needs to fulfill his obligation to her, and I will wait for him. We have continued talking and spending any time we can together, even though her care always takes first priority.

When she found out about our relationship, she was very upset. She has left him many times in the past because of wrongdoings on both their parts, but since her illness she has come to rely on him for everything.

She claims to have deeper feelings for him since her illness, but he says it's just a fear of being alone. He claims his feelings for her are those of friendship and compassion, not love. My question is, do you think we are doing wrong to continue quietly seeing each other while he sees her through this illness, or should I step away until his obligation is completed? -- WAITING FOR HIM

DEAR WAITING: Forgive me, but this sounds like the script for a Movie of the Week. I can't help but wonder what this man was doing looking for company on social media without mentioning that he was married.

Under the circumstances, you should take a break and let him finish his obligation to his terminally ill wife -- if she is, indeed, terminally ill. After that, because you have made promises to each other, you will be able to see each other openly, with honesty and integrity, and determine where the relationship winds up.

DEAR ABBY: My ex and I have a 2-year-old son. We were together only a short time before I found out I was expecting. He freaked out and left when I was five months along. A month after our son was born, he came back in the picture and there have been no issues since.

We live in different states now, but we are trying our best at co-parenting. My only issue is that his side of the family doesn't know about our son. Since we were together only a short time before I became pregnant, I never met them. Every time I bring up the subject of our son meeting his grandparents/family, he ignores the question and moves on.

Family is a big part of my life. I would be lost without their support and love. I don't want to deprive my son of any family that has an interest in being in his life. Should I reach out to his family, tell them they have a grandson and try to connect with them? Or should I wait until my ex does something about it? -- PROUD MOMMY IN ARIZONA

DEAR MOMMY: Give your ex a deadline to introduce you and their grandson to them. And if he doesn't meet it, send them a letter with your name, address and pictures enclosed.