DEAR ABBY: I'm getting married in a few months, and with all of the wedding planning, I have realized that in my fiance's priorities, I come last, as do my opinions and desires.

We were supposed to go to a nice restaurant for his birthday, so I made reservations a month in advance. Yesterday (two days before his birthday) his parents decided they wanted to take him out to dinner to celebrate it. He immediately canceled our plans to go to the nice restaurant so he can have dinner with them.

I told him it seems like I always come last, and no matter what we plan, if his parents say go, he goes. He said that isn't true, but it is. Now that I realize I will never come first, I'm having doubts about marrying him.

When I told him we should hold off on getting married, he said we are not postponing the wedding, and we will get married on the date we picked. Although I express my feelings about postponing the wedding almost every day, I get nowhere. Now I feel like I'm being forced to marry someone I'm not sure I want to marry.

I'm not in a good emotional state, and I am constantly thinking of suicide. If I'm forced to marry someone I don't want to, how am I supposed to have a happy and healthy life? -- MIXED UP IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR MIXED UP: Because you are having suicidal thoughts, it is imperative that you talk with a mental health professional who can guide you back on track. Please do this right away! If you and your fiance haven't had premarital counseling, insist upon it NOW. And absolutely postpone that wedding. Feeling as you do, and under these circumstances, you should not marry anyone.

DEAR ABBY: I read you every morning, and I need your advice. I am writing you from a nursing home. I am 97 years old, and I am in a wheelchair because I cannot stand, but I still make up my bed. I am an artist, and I still paint. I give the paintings I create to those who help me.

My room is small, and it will not hold a lot of stuff. I have a grandson who brings me clothes and food because I cannot eat much because of my teeth.

My problem is, when old friends come to see me, they bring beautiful gifts. They are kind, but I cannot use what they bring -- a comforter that is much too big for my bed, extra pillows or very large books that are hard to keep in my small space, although I love reading.

The nursing home is nice, and I get good care. It is kept clean, and they see I get what I need. I feel blessed.

Abby, I love my friends and don't want to hurt their feelings. This issue of gifts has become more than I know how to deal with. Can you help me know what to tell them? -- GRATEFUL IN TEXAS

DEAR GRATEFUL: Tell these lovely -- and generous -- friends that you deeply appreciate their caring and generosity, but because your room is so small, you have no place to put the items. If they haven't been in your room, show it to them so they can see for themselves.

DEAR ABBY: My 15-year-old son has a friend who stayed with us for five months during football and basketball season because he didn't have transportation to early-morning practices. In the beginning it was one night, then it eventually became full weeks, full months and so on.

We treated him like our own, providing food, washing clothes, giving him snack money. But when I asked him to assist with basic house chores, he would laugh and find ways to not help. It would frustrate me but, not knowing him too well, I let it slide.

We have never met his parents, and neither of them reached out to express gratitude for taking care of their kid. They have three other kids, and the pattern seems to be the same -- pawn them off on other people.

Thankfully, the athletic season changed, and the boys were in different sports, so we got a break from supporting an extra person in February. My concern is, he is coming around again needing rides to school. I feel it is not my problem. This has led to some heavy discussions with my husband.

I feel the boy's parents or grandparents need to take responsibility for assuring their child makes it to practice, has extra money to purchase snacks and rides to and from school. He sees it differently. How can we let that boy fall through the cracks? Mind you, he wears name-brand clothes, glasses and shoes, yet his parents do not assist him in the most important aspects of his life.

I feel horrible because I don't think it is our job to provide for him, but I try to teach my kids empathy and responsibility. So how do I justify myself? How do I get my husband to see we can't continue to be a crutch for these people? Or am I wrong? Help! -- TRYING TO HELP IN THE SOUTH

DEAR TRYING TO HELP: Your "houseguest" may have name-brand clothes, glasses and shoes, but from your description, he is being severely neglected by his parents. That they would allow him to live with another family whom they haven't met is shocking. That they would expect you to foot the bill for all of his needs while they pretend they don't have a minor child for whom they are responsible is negligence.

If he resumes staying with you, insist that he stop acting like a guest and assume the same responsibilities you have assigned to your own children! Your husband should back you up on this. Understand that if the boy is unwilling to do that, the example being set for your children is a very poor one.

Frankly, I think child protective services should have been notified about what has been going on a long time ago.

DEAR READERS: This is National Women's Health Week, so I'm offering a "gentle reminder" to make your health a priority. Eat healthy, allow time for exercise, manage your stress levels, get the sleep you need and schedule that appointment to see your doctor or dentist that you've been postponing. Take steps to eliminate behaviors that put you at risk -- smoking, texting while driving and not wearing a seatbelt. Your most precious possession is your health, so please take care of it. For more information, visit womenshealth.gov. -- Love, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: My husband suffers from migraines and has never been happy in any job he's had. He has tried every available treatment for his migraines, to no avail. He still has them daily. I think they may be partly psychological.

In the 10 years we've been married, he has had six different jobs. The longest one lasted three years but ended miserably. He went on sick leave because of his manager and eventually quit on bad terms.

As soon as he doesn't like a person above him or a situation, his migraines get worse and he quits. He's now talking about leaving the job he got two months ago. He sees two different therapists to deal with these and other issues.

Where do I draw the line between being a supportive wife and just wanting a stable life for our family? We have two young kids. I earn a good income and have always had stable jobs (more than five years per company). I started a new job six months ago that is very stressful, and this has been tough on me. Please give me some advice. -- MISERABLE IN MONTREAL

DEAR MISERABLE: Because the stress of your marriage is now affecting you, it's time to make an appointment with a therapist for yourself. Whether your husband's migraines are real, psychosomatic or an excuse to run from an uncomfortable situation, I can't guess. You need an expert who is closer to home to help you figure this out. Please don't wait. You have my sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: I am a widow who spends summers up north with my son and winters with my daughter down south. My problem is, a friend of my daughter is extremely rude and insulting to me.

"Valerie" arrives at my daughter's without being invited, walks in and either makes a disparaging remark to me ("You still here?") or walks right past me with her nose in the air. My daughter says nothing.

I have always tried to be pleasant to Valerie, but I'm tired of her rude behavior. I have excellent rapport with all of my daughter's other friends. Please advise as to how I should handle this. -- UNWELCOMED IN NEW YORK

DEAR UNWELCOMED: I agree, Valerie's behavior is disrespectful and hostile. Express this to your (silent) daughter and ask how she feels about the way her friend behaves with you, and why she's allowed to drop in with no notice. Her answer may be enlightening.

The next time the "friend" pops in and asks if you're "still here," speak up and tell her the length of your visit is none of her business and asking about it strikes you as rude. If you do, it may clear the air.

DEAR READERS: I wish a very Happy Mother's Day to mothers everywhere -- birth mothers, adoptive and foster mothers, stepmothers, grandmothers who are raising their grandchildren, and dual-role dads. Orchids to all of you for the love you give each and every day. -- LOVE, ABBY