DEAR ABBY: I'm a 26-year-old single man. Most of my good friends are getting married, and when they do, they stop speaking to me. I have a hard time not resenting them for it. It makes me feel my company was a placeholder until they got married, and I'm not worth keeping around now that they have what they really want. It makes me feel like a second-class citizen.

Is this typical behavior or am I right to feel slighted? If you have any advice for someone in my situation, I'd appreciate it. -- PLACEHOLDER IN THE EAST

DEAR PLACEHOLDER: You may be taking this too personally. When people marry, their interests and their social schedules change. They tend to socialize with other newlyweds, which may be why you see less of them.

There could be many reasons why you are no longer included -- among them that they don't want you to feel like the odd man out. Make sure they know that won't be the case, you still value their friendship and you would love to get together with them. That may prompt them to include you more often. Also, make a point of staying active and putting yourself in social situations where you can meet some new single friends.

DEAR ABBY: I have had a chronic illness for 15 years. It has a myriad of symptoms that are very painful. While some of them are fleeting, others last for weeks.

My family is angry with me because they say I am not dependable. It seems like every conversation requires some sort of explanation or apology. My husband is supportive, so our household is calm and reassuring. He says I should stop communicating with these relatives because the negativity is depressing and demoralizing. How can I get them to accept me as I am? -- ANONYMOUS IN AMERICA

DEAR ANONYMOUS: You can't force people who have no empathy to have it. For whatever reason, it isn't in their DNA. You can, however, take care of yourself. If seeing or talking with your relatives leaves you feeling worse, it would make sense to follow your husband's advice.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a woman with a situation I've never seen addressed in your column. Most adult identical twins do not go out of their way to look 100% alike. They'll style their hair differently, groom facial hair differently or dress differently.

I attend a church where two middle-aged women appear to have missed that memo. They wear the same hairstyle, the same glasses and nearly identical clothes. This makes me tend to avoid them because I'm embarrassed to admit I have no clue as to which one I'm talking to. Please give me your input. -- SEEING DOUBLE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SEEING DOUBLE: Rather than allow the inability to distinguish between the twins cause you to shun them, why not explain your problem? If you do, perhaps they can suggest a way you can identify them as individuals. As you interact with them, you may also notice characteristics that will help you tell who's who.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I are both 34 and have been dating for eight years. I love him, but I'm tired of him being so selfish and self-centered. His free time revolves around hockey games on the ice and on TV, baseball on the field and on TV and football season TV. Basically, his butt is glued to the couch.

Every day when I get home from a 10-hour day at the office, he's sitting there watching a game on TV, getting ready to watch a game or getting ready to go to a game. I'm lucky if I get a kiss on the cheek and a five-minute "hello" before he's gone or his eyes are glued to that damned TV.

He complains because he wants me to watch with him or join him. Occasionally I will, but honestly, it's not my thing, and I have no interest. I do it just for him, but when it comes to something I want him to do with me, he makes a fuss, doesn't want to participate and makes me feel bad for even asking.

My life consists of spending time alone at the mall every Saturday or Sunday to get out of the house and just get a day of sunlight, or reading a book upstairs in our room. If his weekend games don't start until the afternoon, he literally sleeps in until an hour before.

I'm tired of him being lazy, inattentive and making no effort in our relationship. We are both adults, no kids. We love our freedom, but I still want to do things sometimes as an actual couple. Our lives are boring, sad and depressing. Please give me some advice on how to change this, or do I change alone and finally move on? -- AFTERTHOUGHT IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR AFTERTHOUGHT: You cannot change another person, but there is still time to make some positive changes in your life. I think eight years of this -- I hate to call it a relationship -- is enough. You have wasted enough time trying to get through to this very limited individual. Find a man you have something in common with to spend your life with. You should have moved out and moved on years ago.

DEAR ABBY: For some strange reason, my sister-in-law "Yvonne" doesn't want gifts. She has done a lot for us (baby-sits, etc.), and when we try to give her a little gift, she says she doesn't want anything. She loves growing herbs, so we gave her an herb-growing kit. She refused to accept it and made us return it to the store. It hurt my feelings deeply.

My husband and I have decided to not get her any more gifts. Her birthday was last week, and we didn't do anything for her. It made me feel terrible. Why would someone not want to receive anything? I feel we are being robbed of the joy of giving. -- GENEROUS IN GEORGIA

DEAR GENEROUS: Not knowing Yvonne, I can't explain her personal reasons for not wanting gifts. I do know that some people are uncomfortable receiving them because they consider it to be an obligation -- plus they don't like to shop, have no use for the item or it is not their taste. Rather than be upset with her for being honest with you, respect her wishes and on her birthday, send her a card.

DEAR ABBY: I have had a wonderful and fulfilling career, and a life with a few hard bumps along the road. My wife and I enjoy spending time together as empty nesters.

For the last 16 years, I have built and led several not-for-profit organizations. After the last experience ended, we relocated, and I now have a less-demanding job I hope will take me into my retirement.

I enjoy the position, but how do I prepare for a rewarding and fulfilling life once I'm no longer fully employed? My wife and I plan to winter in Florida, do some traveling and enjoy life. I have some hobbies I look forward to spending time on, but I'm hoping for more than just that. Looking back, I wonder if I may have devoted too much to my career.

I guess I'm having trouble letting go of the wheel, the pace and the high expectations I have lived by all my adult life. Have you any suggestions to help me prepare for the next chapter? I will continue to help others and volunteer, but I need some guidance. -- TROUBLE LETTING GO IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR TROUBLE: Before retiring, make sure you are really ready to take that next step and discuss with your wife what that will mean to both of you. Between helping others, volunteering, traveling and splitting the year between two different communities, I suspect you will be plenty busy.

Now that you will have the time, use some of it to see your children and grandchildren, if there are any. Remember, too, the importance of staying physically as well as mentally active, and perhaps consider mentoring someone if the opportunity presents itself.

DEAR ABBY: My wonderful 82-years-young father-in-law and mother-in-law still exercise regularly, and it shows. They are both beautiful and healthy. I was particularly impressed when my father-in-law recently informed me that, on a daily basis, he "practices" getting up from a fall by lying down on the floor and then getting up without using his hands. He said he repeats the process several times a day because it keeps his core strong. I think it's brilliant. Perhaps other seniors reading this will incorporate this practice into their daily routine if they are able to. -- BLESSED DAUGHTER-IN-LAW IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR BLESSED: I'm glad you shared what your in-laws are doing in order to remain healthy. Anyone who hasn't tried lying on the floor and getting up without using their hands may be in for a surprise the first time they try. It isn't as easy as it sounds. The "trick" is to roll onto your knees and lift yourself one leg at a time without touching your thighs. I tried it, and I can do it -- but it took some practice. I encourage people of all ages to try.

DEAR READERS: I'm wishing a Happy Father's Day to fathers everywhere -- birth fathers, stepfathers, adoptive and foster fathers, grandfathers, and all of those caring men who mentor children and fill the role of absent dads. And a big shout-out to dual-role moms. I applaud you all. -- LOVE, ABBY