DEAR ABBY: I have a young, preteen grandson who is asking his parents "facts of life" questions. They are bewildered about how to give him the information. I'd be grateful if you could share details of the publication you have for this purpose and how to get it. -- GRANDMOM IN CLINTON TOWNSHIP, MICH.

DEAR GRANDMOM: Many parents find the subject of sex embarrassing, so they postpone discussing it with their children. They forget that children today mature earlier and are exposed to sexual images and references more often than those of previous generations.

When "The Talk" finally happens, it's often too late. It is important that parents begin discussing subjects like alcohol, smoking, drugs, sex and family values well before their children are tempted to experiment. My booklet "What Every Teen Should Know" was written to help parents break the ice and get the conversation going. It can be ordered by sending your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to Dear Abby Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. His parents should review it before starting a discussion to deal with their son's questions that might arise.

Among the important topics included are: "How old must a girl be before she can get pregnant?" "How old must a boy be before he can father a child?" Other topics, including peer pressure, dating, STDs, drugs and alcohol, are also covered. My booklet has been used to promote discussions by educators and religious leaders and distributed by doctors' offices. The more information his parents can provide, the better prepared your grandson will be to make informed choices in the future. I hope my booklet will be a helpful tool for facilitating the many conversations his parents will have with their son.

DEAR ABBY: My son recently died in an accident. His death was unexpected and shocking, and we are all heartbroken, especially his girlfriend. I know he was having doubts about their relationship because he told me, but she doesn't know.

We have grown very close since the accident. She says things like, "'Danny' and I were meant to be." It makes me think I should tell her the truth. But I'm afraid if I do, it will affect our friendship and break her heart again. What do you think? Should she know or not? -- TREADING LIGHTLY

DEAR TREADING: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your son. Because the tragedy is recent, I see nothing to be gained by shattering her illusion. If you feel she's isolating herself, remind her that Danny would want her to go on with her life as do you. Assure her you will always be there for her if she needs you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for three years. He's 26, and I'm 28. We have a good life, and he loves my 9-year-old daughter like his own child.

My husband is originally from Turkey and comes from a good family. However, I have yet to meet my in-laws. He avoids talking about my meeting them. I have talked to his younger sister and things are well and his family knows about us. But anytime I try to talk to him about money, meeting his family or starting a family, he refuses to discuss it.

I have spoken to him calmly and rationally. We have a lot in common, but anything stressful he avoids like the plague. If we get into an argument, he shuts down and walks out of the house. Recently, we got into a fight and he threw his phone at me because I shut our bedroom door. I don't yell at him.

Every other subject we talk about -- hobbies, music, dates, etc. -- is fine, but the important ones are in the back of my mind constantly. He cooks, cleans, helps with anything I ask and is a great husband. Please give me some advice on what to do. -- CLUELESS IN IOWA

DEAR CLUELESS: That your husband refuses to discuss meeting his family, won't talk about money with you, throws his phone at you when he's angry and clams up when you try to talk about starting a family are serious red flags. Because you have established a relationship with his sister, start asking her why her brother behaves the way he does. You may have better luck getting answers from her.

Although you say you have a "good life" with this man, if nothing changes, will you feel that way in years to come as your biological clock ticks away? From where I sit, your description of the man you're living with seems more like a houseman than a husband. Counseling might help you to improve the level of communication in your marriage, IF you can get him to agree to it. Something is very wrong here.

DEAR ABBY: I recently took a friend out to dinner as a thank-you. We are both retired, and she knows my budget is limited. At lunch she ordered a very expensive glass of wine, two full meals, the most expensive dessert on the menu and coffee. I ordered my meal and a glass of water.

Of course, no one could consume that much food for lunch. She left with three bags of leftovers, and I was left with an extremely large bill and a bad taste in my mouth. Is it just me or do you agree this is bad manners? If I truly thought she needed this food to get through the week, there'd be no problem. But this person is wealthy. -- TICKED OFF IN TEXAS

DEAR TICKED OFF: Your wealthy acquaintance took advantage of you. What happened proves the truth of the adage that because people have money doesn't guarantee they have class. The next time she does you a favor and you want to repay her, buy her a nice card. And if you have a meal together, ask for separate checks.

DEAR ABBY: My sister and I are 42 and 50. Our parents divorced 30 years ago, and Dad has been remarried for about 20 years. Although he lives across the country, we see him twice a year and have what I think is a healthy, strong relationship.

Over the past 10 years, he and his wife have been taking international hiking trips abroad. Before they go they send us their itinerary, copies of their will, power of attorney, etc. in case something were to happen on the trip. It's clear in the will that if Dad dies first, everything gets left to his wife. Then, once his wife passes, whatever remains will be split between her two adult children and my sister and me.

It bothers me that there isn't a provision in the will to leave anything specific to me and my sister if he goes first. After discussing this with my therapist, I found the courage to bring it up with Dad. His response was something along the lines of, "This is what we've decided so 'Judy' has enough to live on after I die."

Is this normal? My friends and husband think this is strange and sad. I feel hurt, but also uncomfortable because it's not "my money," and he's obviously free to do with it as he wishes. I see how generous my husband's parents are with us, and it's in stark contrast to my dad. Advice? -- LEFT OUT IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR LEFT OUT: If by "something specific" you are referring to a personal item, such a watch, a ring, his old pitcher's mitt or bowling ball, I think you should have another talk with your father and Judy. A memento like that would not impoverish her, and it might make you feel better. It's worth a try. If, however, you're referring to a sum of money, accept that their financial assets are theirs to do with as they choose, even if you do not agree with it.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in a touchy situation, and I'm not sure what to do. My daughter's getting married soon, and her matron of honor, "Teresa," has caused this. We have known her since she was young. We have taken her many places with us, helped with her bridal shower and with preparations for her wedding.

Teresa had a baby two months ago and brought her to my daughter's bridal shower. When my mom asked to hold the infant, Teresa refused! Now Mom is very upset. This is the same person Teresa used to call "Grandma."

I'm upset about it, too, but Teresa doesn't seem to care. She's afraid of her baby getting "germs." We are not dirty people. It almost feels like since we aren't of use to her anymore, we don't matter. How do we react at the wedding? -- DISSED IN OHIO

DEAR DISSED: If Teresa didn't want her baby exposed to germs, she should not have brought the infant with her to the shower. That said, I do not think her protectiveness was intended to be a personal insult to your family. Be polite and warm when the big day arrives. Because she will be busy with her matron of honor duties at the wedding, she should not bring the child with her because it could divert attention from the bride.