DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Doug," and I have had a long and happy marriage. We've raised two children, both of whom are doing well in life. I have much to be thankful for, but I keep having to remind myself of that because I'm having trouble adjusting to my changing relationship with my husband.

We have a grandson. The boy has become the focus of my husband's world. Because of that, Doug no longer wants to do things with me. He says he has too much to do or he is too tired to go out, so I go to social events by myself. In fact, I do everything by myself. If our grandson calls, though, Doug has all the energy in the world.

I try to interact with the two of them, but when I do, I feel like a third wheel. Doug no longer compliments me and is rarely interested in being intimate. I have worked hard to take good care of myself, and I try to look nice for him every day. He doesn't notice.

I'm actually starting to resent my grandson -- something I never thought would happen. Do I just carry on and hope things get better? If I should talk to Doug now, how do I do it without sounding petty and immature? -- MARRIED, BUT LONELY

DEAR M.B.L.: Something has gone wrong with your marriage. It appears your husband is using your grandson as a way to buffer himself from you. "Too tired" and "too busy" are excuses, not reasons. If discussing this with him doesn't change things, then it's time to talk to a marriage and family therapist -- or a clergyperson, if you have one -- about what has been going on.

DEAR ABBY: When my husband and I were first married, he was in the Army, stationed in North Carolina. While we were there, his good friend and Army buddy "Mac" became a close friend of mine. There was an instant connection.

I haven't seen Mac since he got out. It has been nine years, but we remain in touch -- texting, talking on the phone, playing video games together.

Abby, I believe I may be in love with him. It's not something that happened overnight. This is something I have just come to realize. Do I remain friends and keep this secret or tell him I believe I love him? I am not sure how to handle this. -- BLURRED LINES IN TEXAS

DEAR BLURRED LINES: What do you think you have to gain by telling Mac you think you're in love with him? If he says the feelings are mutual, do you plan on leaving your husband? For the sake of your marriage, stop texting, talking and gaming with this man and concentrate on your husband. If you keep playing with fire, your marriage may wind up in ashes.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter's third-generation, American-born fiance wants to wear a kilt to their wedding. (His late maternal grandmother was born in Scotland.) His parental ancestry claims French and Romanian roots. My daughter would prefer he wear a formal suit or tuxedo to their evening wedding ceremony and reception, which is in an upscale hotel for 100 guests. What to do? -- TO KILT OR NOT TO KILT

DEAR KILT: I'm glad you asked. Your daughter should lighten up, "allow" her fiance to wear whatever he wants to their wedding and respect his reasons for wanting to do so. Look at it this way: It will make for a memorable wedding.

DEAR ABBY: My 7-year-old granddaughter, "Hannah," is the light of my life. Her mother walked out on her when she was 2, and her mother's parents don't know she exists. Her mother hid her pregnancy and delivery, and the child has lived with us since birth.

My heart has always broken for her maternal grandparents. I could not imagine not knowing Hannah and missing out on her life. I have always wanted to send them pictures or even introduce her to them (they don't live far from us). My husband says it's not our place, and we run the risk of them trying to get some kind of custody.

Currently, my son and Hannah's mother share legal custody, but he has full physical custody. There has been no communication from her mother in at least five years.

Hannah is starting to ask questions about her mother, and we have always been truthful with her. It will not be long before she puts things together and realizes she has another set of grandparents. Should we inform them about their grandchild? -- HOLDING A SECRET IN THE EAST

DEAR HOLDING: Because your son has full physical custody of Hannah, tell him about your concerns. Hannah's maternal grandparents have been in the dark for so long, the news of her existence is bound to be a bombshell. There's a reason why their daughter didn't want them to know about her, and as you pointed out, there could be legal ramifications. Because Hannah is now asking questions about her mother, her father should prepare to answer them for her. However well-intentioned you may be, this matter is for your son to deal with, not you.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a teen girl. "Chloe" and I have been friends since first grade. Even though we went to different high schools and have made other friends, we still remained close, spending summer vacations with each other's family.

We are now juniors in high school. Last summer she told me she's a lesbian and shared all her feelings with me. I understand her, and we're still close friends, sharing each other's secrets. Her family knows and accepts her sexual orientation as I and my family do.

Three months ago, she met a partner, and I was truly happy for her. Unfortunately, her partner must feel insecure about our friendship because she has turned Chloe against me. Chloe no longer returns my calls or texts.

I miss my friend and confidante badly and can't get over it. How can I get over my loss? I can't understand why we all can't be friends. I don't know what to do. -- MISSING MY BESTIE IN FLORIDA

DEAR MISSING: You can't "all be friends" because Chloe's girlfriend is threatened by the long-standing relationship you have had with her. This has nothing to do with you; it is a reflection of the girl's insecurity and possessiveness. If things don't work out with Chloe's girlfriend, there is a distinct possibility that she will be back in your life. Do not burn any bridges, but do continue to form relationships with other people. It will help to soothe the loneliness you are feeling.

DEAR ABBY: I would like to throw a 70th birthday party for myself, but I don't want the guests to think I'm doing it to get presents. What should I do? -- LOOKING TO HAVE FUN

DEAR LOOKING: Include with the invitations: "The only present I require is the gift of your presence."

DEAR ABBY: My fiance, "Bradley," is the man of my dreams. We have been together three years, live together and have a dog. Brad is in his early 30s, and I'm turning 30 this year.

We decided on a long engagement so we could enjoy the planning process. Our wedding is scheduled for next year. We both work hard and live comfortably. But we struggle now and then to make ends meet, especially around the holidays, although it's nothing we can't resolve by cutting back a bit.

The issue: I am ready for a child. He wants to wait until we have been married for at least two years. He feels it would require a lot of financial and lifestyle sacrifice that he doesn't want to make right now.

I understand where he's coming from because I felt the same way for a while. But lately, I have this overpowering sense of readiness and yearning to become a mother. No matter what I do to suppress this instinct, I am more and more heartbroken every day knowing this reality is so far away.

How should I cope with this? I am becoming more and more depressed. Should I confront my fiance? Maybe do couples counseling? Brad is always willing to listen, but I don't think he understands how it feels. -- FUTURE MOMMY IN RHODE ISLAND

DEAR FUTURE MOMMY: Because you and your fiance are not on the same page regarding this issue, couples counseling could be helpful. However, because you are becoming increasingly frustrated and depressed, also discuss these feelings with your physician. If you are worried about your biological clock, women have options today that weren't available in years past, and you and Brad may want to explore them.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 69-year-old divorcee who was married for 48 years. The last 25 years were very lonely. There were no intimate relations, hugs or kisses, and we slept in separate bedrooms. After I retired, I learned my husband had been cheating on me for God knows how long, possibly 20 years.

After our divorce, I was finally persuaded to do some online dating, which has been quite an adventure, both positive and negative! I am currently happy in an exclusive year-long relationship, but because I have been out of the dating world for almost half a century, I am confused by the new rules.

My boyfriend sometimes expects me to share the cost of what we do, whether it be restaurant, movies, golf, airline tickets, etc. My mother taught me that the gentleman always pays, so please give me current advice about present-day dating etiquette, if you would be so kind. -- CURRENT IN TEXAS

DEAR CURRENT: What your mother taught you was true in her day. However, because women are now in the working world, have incomes of their own, and are on a more equal par with men, they now share some or all of those expenses. Much depends upon the financial disparity between the two. This is an important subject you should discuss with your gentleman friend to see if you can agree on an arrangement that's comfortable for both of you.