DEAR ABBY: My 20-year-old daughter has been dating a wonderful young man for two years. He's 21, almost 22. He treats her exceptionally well.

She has decided on a whim that she has "an itch" to know what it's like to "be with" other people! (They were each other's first everything.) I do understand that thought or "itch," but I don't feel it NEEDS to be acted upon.

When she told him, it broke his heart. When I asked him if he was OK, he responded, "No, but I will be. I just want her to be happy." It brought tears to my eyes. He's such a wonderful young man.

My daughter has no idea what a huge mistake she's making. Of course I want to support her no matter what, but I feel her actions are mean and selfish. How do I convey this to her but also be supportive? -- EMOTIONAL MOM IN BALTIMORE

DEAR MOM: It is better that the boyfriend knows your daughter's true feelings. Having said what she did has freed him to move on.

Tell her you are glad she confided in you, you think she had a solid gold winner in the young man she has been with for the last two years, and you will always be there to emotionally support her if she needs it. That's all you can do at this point.

DEAR ABBY: Have people now decided they cannot travel without their dogs?

My sister and her husband take an annual trip to visit my parents, who live six hours from my family. Because they pass near our town, they stop and visit with us, too. I love seeing my sister, but they bring their large dog and expect us to keep our Siamese cat locked up while they're here. (Our kitty is terrified of dogs.) They tend to stay at least four or five days, during which time we must keep our cat in our bedroom with his litter box and food.

Their dog is sweet, but he makes a big mess when he eats, and they don't scoop his poop until the end of their visit. Once they're gone, I vacuum up dog hair for weeks.

Any questions I ask -- "Could you wipe up 'Rover's' dinner?" -- are met with either "In a minute" (never) or "He's such a messy eater. Ha ha!" When I tried to be frank about the problem of having to lock our cat up and the kibble all over the floor, my sister got upset and told our parents we were "anti-dog people" who didn't appreciate their efforts to visit family.

Any suggestions on how to deal with these visits? I don't want to cause a family feud over a five-day visit every year, but I'm beginning to dread them coming. -- OVER IT BIG TIME

DEAR OVER IT: If you haven't told your parents what you have written to me, you should because they should hear your side of this. Perhaps they can get through to your nervy sister that what she's doing is rude, inconsiderate and an imposition. Then tell your sister you would love to see her, but if she's bringing Rover with her, you can accommodate her for ONE night, not five -- and repeat the rules she must follow while she's there.

DEAR ABBY: I gave my mom a surprise 90th birthday party. My cousin and his wife and their two adult children and three grandchildren came. I paid $23 a head for a sit-down dinner. Mom was given a scented candle from all of them, but the kicker is my cousin sells them, so it cost them nothing. Is there any way I can tell them how cheap they are without causing a war? -- UNFAIR IN THE EAST

DEAR UNFAIR: I don't recommend you broach that subject the way you presented it to me. It would have been better if more thought had been devoted to selecting a gift, but what you paid for the dinner should have no bearing.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in a relationship with a man who lives eight hours away. We met last year through a dating site while he was in my area on a business trip but lost contact shortly after he returned home. We recently reconnected and have been talking and/or texting daily since. I'm looking for a job in his area, and he is in favor of that.

Ever since the last time I visited him (a week ago), his texts have become less romantic and there are fewer of them. We also haven't talked on the phone as often. He works 60-plus hours a week and sees his children on weekends, so I understand his time is limited. (However, he made time for me until a week ago.)

Today I asked him if he was still interested in me. I pointed out that I haven't heard from him as often as I did before my last visit, and I'm getting the feeling he's lost interest. He said he hasn't lost interest; he has just been busy.

He went on to say he doesn't have time to be on the phone with me 24/7, and my pessimism bothers him. I responded that I don't think it's unreasonable to want to hear from him at least once a day if we are in a committed relationship, especially since we don't have the luxury of being able to spend time together often. Is it too much to ask to hear from him on a daily basis? After all, I am willing to relocate for him. -- SERIOUS IN THE SOUTH

DEAR SERIOUS: It's entirely possible, with his work schedule and family commitments, that he has been busy in the week since your visit. It is also possible that he's feeling pressured because of your impending move to his city, and you have picked up on the fact that he is distancing himself. I suggest you slow down that move. Don't push or smother him. Give him a chance to pursue you for a while. His reaction to that will tell you everything you need to know.

DEAR ABBY: When my mom passed away, friends and family were very responsive immediately following her death. During that time, I was numb and in a fog. Weeks later, when I really needed emotional support and help packing things up, no one was around. The same thing happened when my father passed away, and now with the passing of my beloved dog. I realize that everyone is busy with their own lives. A few days of caring and then "crickets"! Is this the new normal? -- BUSY IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR BUSY: I am sorry you have experienced all the deaths you have because the sadness can be cumulative. I do not think people mean to be insensitive at times like this. Unless someone has experienced the kind of losses that you have, they often fail to understand that the grieving person may need more than an "I'm sorry for your loss." This is why it is important for those who are grieving to express to their friends what they need from them. Sometimes people are just waiting for guidance.

DEAR ABBY: My aunt is a perfectionist who loves hosting get-togethers at her house once a week. I love being at home on a day off, so I can get chores done around the house and catch up on rest. I feel like I'm suffocating when she insists on including me, because it is time away from my home on a Sunday or a holiday.

When I attend, I feel like I'm really there to do the behind-the-scenes things, like dishes, trash, etc., and I don't get to relax, visit and enjoy the get-togethers. If I don't attend or I protest in any way, she gets really upset.

I don't know how to achieve a win-win for both of us. My aunt has a big heart and loves entertaining people. I'm an introvert, and I'm definitely not an entertainer. Being around people makes me feel overwhelmed, where it revitalizes her. Please help. -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: Explain your feelings to your aunt exactly as you have to me. If she's as big-hearted as you say, she should understand and let you off the hook without becoming "really upset." From where I sit, you are being treated less as a guest than as a one-person, free kitchen and cleanup crew. You have the right to spend your holidays and weekends exactly as you wish, just as she does.

DEAR ABBY: I recently confessed my feelings to a married man after a year of liking him. We have known each other for five years. I ignored the signs of his interest in me until this past year. He hasn't even been married a year yet, but he gives me attention and flirts with me.

After I told him how I felt, he didn't tell me where he stood with it, didn't shut me down or tell me he feels the way I do. But he did hug me four days later, something he has never done before. What do I do in a situation like this? I can't let these feelings go. -- LETTING GO IN THE WEST

DEAR LETTING GO: What you do in a situation like this is stop chasing a married man. You knew him for four years before his wedding. During that time he not only never asked you out, he courted and married someone else. For your sake, you had better find a way to let those feelings go or channel them elsewhere, because what you want is not going to happen and will keep you from finding someone who is available.

DEAR ABBY: My husband was terminally ill when a GoFundMe account was set up on Facebook to help raise money for his expenses. He has since passed away, and after the medical expenses were paid, there's still quite a bit of money left over. My question is, who does that money belong to? My mother-in-law says the money should be split between me and my stepdaughter. I think the money belongs only to me. Please comment. -- MARIA IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR MARIA: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your husband. Before grabbing the money, ask yourself what your husband would want. Would there be any reason not to share it with his daughter? If the answer to that question is no, then listen to your mother-in-law and do as she suggests.