DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have two sons in their late 30s. We always thought they got along well and loved each other. Over the past year, they are no longer speaking with each other because of hard feelings over current situations. They live in the same neighborhood.

My husband refuses to stay at either one's house now when we visit from out of town because he's so upset at the turn of events. (We have been getting a hotel room.) When I visit on my own, I stay with our older son because there is no place to stay with the younger one.

The disagreement between my husband and me is I want to continue to visit as I have, understanding there are differences but hoping they will come to a solution. I refuse to choose one over the other, and I'm trying to be consistent with love and be a good role model. Both of our sons know this.

My husband is upset with me because I don't support his position of not staying at either house until they make up. This is creating more friction in a situation that is already breaking our hearts. What do you recommend? We have made our suggestions for a resolution, but these are grown men who must do the work themselves. -- MOM IN A DIFFICULT SPOT

DEAR MOM: I recommend you continue to do what makes you comfortable. Your sons both know you love them. If your husband thinks that your staying in a hotel -- provided you can find one during the current shutdowns -- will somehow manipulate your sons into settling their differences more quickly, he is mistaken. It hasn't worked so far. As you stated, your "boys" are grown men. I agree with you that they will have to hash this out on their own.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance often leaves memory cards out on his dresser after a day of being home alone. I was by myself one day and looked at them. There were photos of a nude woman wrapped in his bed sheet on his bed back in 2018. In them, she is posing. We were dating when they were taken, but not yet living together or engaged.

He dabbles in photography, but never mentioned this or informed me he was doing this shoot. I found another set from 2017 -- prior to our relationship -- that is not as "tastefully" done. Do I have reason for concern? I thought these things were professionally done off-site. His bedroom, though? -- UNEASY IN NEW YORK

DEAR UNEASY: If the photos were taken before you and your fiance were exclusive, I doubt you have any reason to worry. However, rather than ask me if you have anything to be concerned about, any questions you have about his "dabbling" would be better addressed directly to him.

DEAR ABBY: I have a grown daughter whom my ex-husband named "Brenda." (It is her middle name.) She's married, a mother of five and lived abroad for quite some time. She's back in the U.S. now and living 50 miles away from our family. She now wants to be called by her first name, which is "Riley." The problem is, everyone here at home knows her as Brenda. Presently, I still call her Brenda. How can this be resolved? -- NOT HAPPY IN THE SOUTH

DEAR NOT HAPPY: Resolve this by using the name your adult daughter prefers. If you refuse, expect the distance between you to become greater than 50 miles.

DEAR ABBY: I cannot believe it! My parents tricked me into comforting a child molester.

When I was young, my uncle "Dave" went to prison. My family told it like this: "Dave had an affair with a 17-year-old girl who was pretending to be 18. They made a sex tape, her parents found it and accused him of rape. He went to prison for life."

My parents visit and talk to him regularly, although nobody else in the extended family does, and they always encouraged me to communicate with him. They say he made "poor decisions" but doesn't deserve his prison sentence or the family neglect. I felt bad for him, so I willingly joined in phone calls and letter writing.

I recently mentioned all this to a friend who is experienced in the legal field. He thought the story sounded peculiar, so we looked up Dave and found out he had multiple counts of sexual assault on a child under 14. In other words, my parents tricked me into regular conversations with a child molester.

I'm floored. Should I confront them? If so, what do I say? Should I tell my brother? I want nothing to do with Dave, and I'm horrified that my parents would lie in his defense. -- HORRIFIED IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR HORRIFIED: I can understand why you want nothing to do with this relative. Tell your parents that you have written to me. Ask them why they chose to minimize what your uncle did and encourage you to communicate with a predator. Doing so was a gross betrayal of your trust. I'm not sure how they can justify their actions because it is the job of parents to protect their child.

You should absolutely tell your brother what has been happening because it's appalling.

DEAR ABBY: I love my boyfriend. We have been together nearly six years, but there are a few issues. The biggest one is his diet.

He eats like it's going out of style. The only reason he's not 400 pounds is because his job keeps him active. He has put on 60 pounds since we started dating, and we can no longer sleep together because of the snoring his weight gain has caused. He can no longer stand to be outdoors when he's home because it's always "too hot."

When we first started seeing each other, he was fit and active. Now he comes home, eats and stares at his phone. He's always unhappy with his weight, but when I ask him to please eat better, his response is, "Nothing makes me as happy as a cookie." He would rather be a 500-pound blob who never had to move if it meant he could eat cake all day.

I feel he has chosen food over me. I'm only 27, and I know I'll have to sleep alone for however long I'm with him. I don't know if I can do that. I make an effort to maintain myself for him, but clearly, the favor isn't returned. What are your thoughts? -- WORRYING IN FLORIDA

DEAR WORRYING: If nothing makes your boyfriend happier than eating a cookie, it's time you got to the bottom of what is eating him. When a fit and active person suddenly loses interest in his health and becomes careless about his diet, one has to wonder if he may be using food to cope with painful or unpleasant emotions. Continue to help and support him as much as you can, but frankly, it may be time for the two of you to seek relationship counseling from a licensed mental health professional before your boyfriend's diet causes permanent damage to his health.

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem I can't fix. I have been married for 54 years. For the last 20 we have slept in different bedrooms. I get no affection from my wife, and everything has to be her way. We no longer have anything in common except our children and grandchildren who, for the most part, come to me only when they need something.

Over the years, we have drifted apart, and there is no longer anything we enjoy doing together. I have told her many times that for my mental health we should part ways. She laughs and shrugs it off. Basically, to her I am a paycheck.

She thinks we don't have a problem. Her parents lived pretty much the same way. I need someone who will sit with me when we go out to dinner, hold hands in public, have a couple of similar interests, share the same bed, etc.

I have met a woman online who seems to care and who wants to be with me. I haven't followed through, but every time I'm verbally abused, it's pushing me more and more toward her. Help. -- UNHAPPY IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR UNHAPPY: Tell your wife you are making an appointment with a licensed marriage and family therapist to discuss your marital situation. It may be the wakeup call she needs to get her to quit laughing and pay attention to the fact that you are seriously unhappy. Ask her to go with you, but if she refuses, follow through and go without her. It may help you emotionally as you disengage from this marriage.

If you do end the marriage, recognize there will have to be a fair distribution of any assets that accumulated and be prepared to discuss your options with more than one lawyer. A word of caution, however: Do NOT immediately rush into a romantic relationship with someone you know only through the internet. It is crucial that you take the necessary time to detoxify and regain your balance after you exit this marriage.

DEAR ABBY: My mom passed away a year and a few months ago. My parents were married for 38 years.

Dad started a whirlwind romance with a lady about nine months after Mom's death. Their relationship lasted three months, and they were supposed to get married. She blindsided him by breaking the engagement a month before the wedding. The breakup was because she still has feelings for an ex-husband and had nothing to do with my dad.

He keeps talking to her "as a friend," but he is miserable because he's in love with her. Ever since the breakup, she gets nasty and criticizes him about small things. She is not even a good friend.

I want my father to be happy and find someone who will love him. But he continues to call and text this woman, even though it makes him sink deeper into depression every day. He keeps thinking she'll take him back, but I don't see it happening. How can I convince Daddy to cut off all contact with her? -- WHAT'S BEST FOR DAD IN GEORGIA

DEAR WHAT'S BEST: I'm not sure you are the person to do that. It might be better to enlist the aid of a male relative or close friend -- someone who knows what has been going on. Your father might be more receptive to that message if he hears it from a contemporary. If not, he may have to learn his lesson the hard way.

DEAR READERS: For those of you having trouble coping with stress and anxiety during this challenging time, Jack Drescher, M.D., respected psychiatrist, psychoanalyst and member of the American Psychoanalytic Association, contacted me offering a resource for emotional health matters related to the coronavirus crisis. For more information, go to psychologytoday.com/us/blog/psychoanalysis-unplugged-0. -- LOVE, ABBY