DEAR ABBY: My hubby and I come from very different backgrounds. He grew up in a community where all the moms had to work. I grew up in one where most of the moms did not. Our marriage was perfect until we had a baby.

After our first child was born, my hubby made clear that it was unacceptable for me to leave my career or reduce my working hours. I never realized I would have the desire to be a stay-at-home mom or work part-time until I became a mom.

For the last several years, I have chosen to work swing shifts so I can be available for my children during the mornings. But this has taken such a toll on my health that I have had to get antidepressant prescriptions to cope with juggling all of this.

Recently, I told my husband I would like to work an earlier shift so my health can improve. Again he insists this is unacceptable because of the reduced pay I'd receive plus the high cost of child care.

He's a wonderful father to the children, and aside from this sole issue, we have no other problems. He makes me feel like a work mule, though, always trying to squeeze every last dollar out of me I can earn. I don't want a divorce. I do love him. I'm considering telling him my job is requiring me to switch shift times, which isn't true. Is it ever appropriate and acceptable to be dishonest to your spouse? -- WORK MULE MAMA

DEAR MAMA: Your husband's priorities appear to be out of whack, but I don't think you should lie to him. Repeat that the shift you are working is taking a toll on your HEALTH and that antidepressants aren't a cure for what's ailing you.

A husband is not supposed to be a dictator. As long as the two of you can make it financially, you should be able to set your own hours. Inform your doctor about everything you have told me and get off the medication. As much as you love your husband, you are not a "mule." If you continue on the path you're on, you will weaken your immune system and risk becoming seriously ill. How will you parent your children (or work) then?

DEAR ABBY: For the past five years, I have been dealing with my aunt, who is convinced that the neighbors are coming into her apartment, hacking her phone, her refrigerator, threatening her, cooking in her kitchen and constantly talking about her. Everyone has tried reasoning with her, but she insists she's OK and nothing is wrong with her.

She has fixated on these neighbors ever since she had a run-in with them years ago. They don't even live there anymore, but she says they do. I'm trying to be kind, patient and understanding with her, but she is making me nuts. Please help. -- ALARMED IN INDIANA

DEAR ALARMED: I'll try. Your aunt's irrational behavior should be reported to her physician, if she has one, so she can be evaluated. None of what you have described about her behavior is rational or normal. She needs a physical and neurological examination by a medical professional who can guide you in how to handle this because it isn't going to get better on its own.

DEAR ABBY: My ex had a prior relationship with my cousin "Earl." When she talked about her past relationships, a common theme emerged. Her partners were emotionally abusive -- cheating, berating her, throwing rage fits where they screamed in her face and threw things. My own history is similar. My partners have done the same to me. (I do not engage in such behavior.)

Earl told her he still has feelings for her, despite the emotional abuse he had inflicted upon her. I confronted him and told him that what he did was inappropriate. Abby, when she heard about it, she dumped me and tried to get back together with Earl!

My cousin, having done work to remedy his issues, rejected her outright. He told her it would never work between them despite the lingering feelings. Now she has come back to me, saying she wants a serious relationship. Should I take her back? -- SO MIXED-UP

DEAR SO MIXED-UP: Heck no. This woman has made clear that you are her second choice. Please don't take her up on her offer. You can't fix what's wrong with this very mixed-up woman, and you shouldn't waste your time trying because if you do, she will only cause you more pain.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is smart, hard-working and a wonderful father to our young son. We hope to grow our family. However, my husband is a cigarette smoker and extremely defensive about any suggestion about him possibly quitting.

Both of his parents passed away from cancer relatively young, and his mother was a smoker, too. I'm terrified he will get sick and die young. Not only that, he constantly misses precious moments with our son, who stands at the window and cries when he sees his father go outside. I'm becoming resentful of the constant breaks he takes while I sit inside comforting our son.

I have tried reasoning with him and suggesting we ask a doctor for help, but he shuts me down and gets angry. How can I try to approach it again? -- ANTI-SMOKER IN COLORADO

DEAR ANTI-SMOKER: You fell in love with an addict. Your husband is addicted to tobacco and appears not to understand or care about how it may affect himself or you and his son in the coming years. My advice would be to stop pressuring your husband for now and ask your doctor to refer you to a support group for friends and family members of people with a smoking addiction.

DEAR ABBY: A man and a woman liked (and loved) each other in their teenage years, but they married different people. After a decade, the man sends wedding anniversary wishes to the woman on Facebook. Without any reply, the next day the woman blocks the man, and on the second day she deactivates her account on FB. What does it mean? -- MYSTIFIED IN THE MIDDLE EAST

DEAR MYSTIFIED: It means the long-ago chapter of your storybook teen romance is over. She has moved on and so should you.

DEAR ABBY: Although I have been divorced from my ex for eight years, we still live together. There is not -- nor will there ever be -- more than a platonic relationship between us, and I have made that abundantly clear to him.

It wasn't always a bad situation, but now it's worse than I could have ever imagined it would be. He drinks heavily on a daily basis and becomes verbally abusive. He has a woman over a lot, and I can't sleep when she's here.

She's a drunk, too, and she also abuses her prescription medications. At least half the time when she's here, I have to lift her passed-out body off the floor and drag her off to his bedroom. She steals money, cigarettes, food and booze all the time.

He dismisses me when I bring up her behavior. He tells me to shut up or get out. I pay for everything except the rent and homeowner's insurance. Cable, electric, oil, propane and groceries are my responsibility. I also do all the inside and outside chores. I earn less than he does, but I pay more than he does.

He tells me what to eat and who I can talk to. I can't have company. Yet he wants to know why I'm not dating. I can't save any money so I can get out. I'm stuck, and he knows it. What do I do? -- HORRIBLE SITUATION IN MAINE

DEAR HORRIBLE SITUATION: You owe this man nothing. You are being treated like a serf, and it has been going on far too long. If you have family or friends you can stay with until you save enough for a place of your own, start asking now. That should enable you to save more money because you won't be paying for cable, electricity, propane, etc. for your ex.

P.S. When the girlfriend passes out, do not lift or drag her anywhere. That is your ex's privilege and not your responsibility. With the load you're already carrying, the last thing you need is a strained back.

DEAR ABBY: I am at high risk for COVID. My oldest son and his family live an hour and a half away. They have two children at home. Their daughter is also at high risk.

During this pandemic, they have continually posted photos of themselves and the kids maskless with friends, hugging each other and acting as if life is normal. My daughter-in-law has told me she's "scared" and does the "wear a mask" thing and shares routine online posts, etc., yet she continues having people over.

In normal circumstances, it's difficult for me to visit. I want to visit them, but every time I consider it, I see them on social media with someone else, sans mask and no social distancing. I'm sure they would say their friends are all healthy, but none of us can know for certain who their friends have been around. It's like dominoes, and it's scary.

I don't know how to explain this to them because I know they will feel I'm being ridiculous. Also, my DIL is super sensitive and would be hurt and insulted. I love them. I don't want to alienate them. I'm ready to just take my chances, although my other daughter is against it. What should I do? -- CAUTIOUS IN NEW YORK

DEAR CAUTIOUS: Many people have grown complacent about mask wearing and social distancing. That's unfortunate because, as I write this, "mask fatigue" has led to an increase in the number of people testing positive for the virus. Your concerns are valid, and I hope you will stick to your guns. As a member of a high-risk group, your life could depend on it.