DEAR ABBY: I recently moved from the U.S. to Germany. It has been a big change, and I honestly don't know how to handle it. A lot of the kids at school make fun of me and call me names.

My family plans to stay here another two years. My parents say that when/if we move back to the United States, we won't return to our hometown. I find this very hard to accept because it was the only home I've ever known. I tried asking them if I could live with a friend there, but they always brush me off.

I don't want my family to worry about me since my mom is working hard going back to college, but keeping my feelings bottled up inside seems like the wrong choice. Should I tell them honestly how I feel or keep crying into my pillow every night? -- LOST AND DEPRESSED

DEAR LOST: Crying in your pillow every night isn't productive. You should absolutely tell your parents everything you are experiencing -- that you are being bullied at school and made to feel you don't fit in, and that you miss your old hometown terribly. They might want to consult with the school administrator about it.

Geographical distance does not mean you must lose relationships forever. While moving back to the town you left may not be practical, you can keep in touch with your friends online and may eventually be able to visit them.

DEAR ABBY: A beautiful flower arrangement was delivered to me at my home today. While on the phone, I told my friend about the thoughtful gift and mentioned that my two cats wouldn't leave it alone. She said, "I hope there aren't any lilies in it!" There were, Abby -- white oriental lilies. I Googled it and discovered they are very poisonous to cats, although not to other animals. When I called the florist, they claimed not to know. Thought your readers should! -- LOVES MY FELINES

DEAR LOVES: I agree. And thank you for sharing that information. I learned from my own Google search that lilies are not the only flowers that are poisonous for pets. Azaleas, daffodils, amaryllis, chrysanthemums, tulips, oleander, hyacinth, English ivy, sago palm, cyclamen, autumn crocus, widow's thrill, hydrangea, aloe vera, caladium, pothos, philodendron, lily of the valley, castor bean, poinsettia, asparagus fern, peace lily and corn plants can be lethal as well. Kitty lovers, be warned!

DEAR ABBY: Is it possible for a single woman (me) to continue a neighborhood friendship with a widower who is now dating a woman? He shared homemade soup with me weekly, leaving it at my door, and occasionally we would have tea together on our decks. I feel awkward; he does not. Should I go with my gut? -- STUMPED IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR STUMPED: It would be a shame to lose a good friend. Talk to him about the awkwardness you are feeling. Perhaps it can be resolved. However, if it can't, then follow your instincts and step back.

DEAR ABBY: I recently had a child with a man who is now incarcerated. I was widowed when I met him, and although he brought me happiness, it has come at a steep price.

I pay for literally everything. I love him very much, but his entitlement was an issue even before he had legal issues. Now he has become very nasty and minimizes everything I do.

If I send $100, he's upset that I didn't send $200. If I have a day off from work that I don't spend communicating with a lawyer and the courts, I'm "not taking initiative." He has even gone so far as to say it was my fault he got in trouble because I was on his case so often that he "had to go out to get some peace." His only redeeming quality is his wonderful relationship with the kids, who see none of our fights and regard him as a father figure.

He is now even more negative and derogatory than when he was at home. I manage a busy restaurant and a household of five children. Since he has been away, I'm ashamed to say life has actually been less stressful.

I think my loneliness when I met him made it easier to ignore red flags. In every other aspect of my life, I am an independent woman who has the respect of my peers. Is it too late to set boundaries with him? -- GROWING IN FLORIDA

DEAR GROWING: This emotionally abusive individual is milking you like you are a Guernsey cow. His ingratitude is boundless. You are not the reason he got himself in trouble with the law, and it isn't your responsibility to get him out or support him financially.

It is way too late to set boundaries with this manipulative ingrate. He won't change. What you must do now -- for your own sake and for your children's -- is tell him you are finished and cut ties with him.

DEAR ABBY: I live in Kansas and my boyfriend lives in another state. We talk online all the time, but I haven't heard from him in three days and I don't know what to think. My friends say I'm being paranoid, but I can't help but think that he might be seeing another girl. I've had problems like this before and ended up getting hurt because I didn't listen when my friends told me that a guy was cheating. What should I do? -- LONG-DISTANCE LOVE

DEAR L.D.L.: Recognize that as much as two people might care about each other, long-distance romances don't always have fairytale endings. I don't know if your boyfriend is cheating. Neither do you and neither do your friends.

It's time for you to have a calm conversation with your boyfriend. Tell him you were worried by his three-day silence because it was unusual. Let him respond. If you are satisfied with his answer, change the subject. However, if you aren't, ask him if he has met someone closer to home and tell him to level with you. It takes courage to do this, but it will save you a lot of pain in the long run.

DEAR ABBY: My granddaughter just informed me she has decided she would be happier living as a boy, and she has gone so far as to legally change her name. I want to be supportive, but I admit I'm having a lot of trouble accepting it, or at least figuring out how to deal with it.

She's my only grandchild and most likely the only one I'll ever have. I loved my granddaughter with all my heart, and I don't know how to shift gears to a grandson. I keep stumbling when I try to use the new name. I would welcome any suggestions you could make, including information about support groups you might know of. -- GRANDMA IN PAIN

DEAR GRANDMA: Gender reassignment is not something that someone does on a lark. There are many steps involved, and the journey, while liberating, can be challenging both physically and emotionally. I am sure this is something your grandchild has given much thought to.

Yes, coming to terms with it can be as much of a journey for family as it is for the transgender person, and it can take time and understanding on all sides. A group called PFLAG can help you through this. It has been mentioned in my column for decades. It has helped countless families to build bridges of understanding between themselves and their lesbian, gay and transgender loved ones. Please don't wait to contact them. You will find PFLAG at pflag.org, and their phone number is (202) 467-8180.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 50-year-old man. My whole life, my relationship with my father has been strained. When I was in my teens and 20s, when he bought presents for my two siblings and not for me, he would say things to me like, "I forgot I had you."

In spite of this, I became very successful in life. I had a great career and am now retired. My father recently announced to me that he had made only two mistakes in his life -- marrying my mother, who has put up with him for more than 60 years, and having children.

My dilemma is, he is now 90 with many health problems. He is in the hospital now for a heart problem. I know he won't last much longer. I feel nothing for him, and I am not sad. When he dies, I know I won't care. Is this normal? I feel guilty for feeling this way. -- DON'T CARE IN TENNESSEE

DEAR DON'T CARE: Please don't feel guilty for feeling no regret at the prospect of "losing" a cruel and withholding parent who made it his business to make those around him feel "less than." Do not be surprised if, rather than feel a sense of loss, you feel at peace, as though a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. You should not feel guilty for that, either. Comfort and emotionally support your mother as best you can when he dies, but don't be shocked if she, too, feels some relief. Their union could not have been the happiest.