DEAR ABBY: I'm married to the most patient, loving and wonderful husband in the world. Recently, I had a falling-out with his friend group. I admit I was not a good friend due to mental illness, and I know I may never earn their forgiveness. I'm taking responsibility for my actions and seeking help. Now I want to move on and forget I ever knew them.

The problem is, my husband still hangs out with them. He defended me when they talked negatively about me, and continues to support me in all my struggles, but they're still buddy-buddy as if nothing ever happened. I can't help but think how awkward it is that he hangs out with a bunch of people who hate me.

The last thing I want is to break up a friendship, and I know it's petty to be angry that my husband still hangs with them, but it still leaves a sour taste in my mouth. How can I learn to let go knowing they will be a constant presence in my life and a reminder of how horrible I was? -- KEEPING DISTANCE

DEAR KEEPING: You have a mental illness and you acted out. Your illness caused it, and it does not make you a bad person.

You cannot wave a magic wand and expect this to go away. You have already taken an important first step by admitting to yourself that you have a mental illness. If you are now in treatment, you have also taken the second step. When you are strong enough, apologize to his friend group for any pain, embarrassment or disruption you caused during an "episode" and assure them you are working to get better.

You should not expect your husband to drop his friends because you messed up. They probably will be present in your lives for the foreseeable future, but that doesn't mean you will always be at odds.

DEAR ABBY: We moved into a beautiful new house a few months ago, and we're having an issue with a neighbor whose dog barks all night. This has been going on since the first night. I have tried to ignore it. I wear earplugs or put a pillow over my head, but nothing helps, and it's starting to affect my mood because I'm not getting enough sleep.

I'm receiving mixed advice from family about whether I should talk to the neighbor in person or anonymously submit a complaint with the city. I would go in person, but I'm somewhat shy, and I'm not sure how to start a conversation like that with someone I've never met. Any advice on this would be so helpful. -- SLEEP-DEPRIVED IN ARIZONA

DEAR SLEEP-DEPRIVED: It would be interesting to know why your neighbor's dog barks all night. Is it neglected, hungry or thirsty, tied up outside and wanting to come in? Because you are shy, write your neighbors a polite letter explaining that their dog's barking is preventing you from getting a good night's sleep and ask if they can do something to help you out. Give them a chance to rectify the problem. However, if the animal is being ignored and mistreated, contact the animal control department in your city and report it.

DEAR ABBY: I suspect that something has been going on with my husband and our daughter-in-law. My husband has become obsessed with her, and they both seem to become nervous when they are around me at the same time. My husband is always checking to see when I'm leaving.

My son and daughter-in-law and their three kids live in our duplex, but my son isn't home most of the day. Should I be concerned about what's going on with them? Everything in me is telling me something is not right. -- WORRIED IN WISCONSIN

DEAR WORRIED: I hope you are wrong, but if "everything in you" is telling you something is not right, listen to your intuition. Continue monitoring the situation and keep a journal of your observations.

If your marital relationship with your husband has changed, it's a red flag. Talk to him about it. It may take the services of a licensed marriage and family therapist to get your marriage back on track. Share the journal with your therapist during some of the sessions, or with your attorney, if the need arises.

DEAR ABBY: My mom died five years ago. I didn't talk to her the last few months before her death because of the extreme stress she put me under. I finally told my brother it was his turn to deal with her because she had always been sweet to him. I dealt with her issues for 40 years and could no longer continue. Mom was greedy, self-centered and narcissistic. She caused many issues between my brother and me.

My question concerns her ashes. I have them. My brother wanted nothing to do with them, and I don't know how to dispose of them. I have considered spreading them in the mountains since she liked camping and fishing, but I don't know if it is legal. Otherwise, they will sit in my basement forever. -- NEEDS A SOLUTION

DEAR NEEDS: Contact the funeral home or crematorium that handled your mother's remains and ask what the rules are in your state about the disposition of ashes. Because rules differ in different states, counties, etc., the people there would be in the best position to assist you.

DEAR ABBY: I have a relationship problem I hope you can help me with. I have loved this woman for years. We grew up together. We parted because I had to move away to Japan.

Well, a few years ago, we met again. We began to communicate, and all my feelings for her rushed back after all these years. I know she doesn't feel the same way about me. How can I let her know how bad it hurts, this unrequited love? -- SMITTEN IN THE WEST

DEAR SMITTEN: I don't think that's such a good idea. Knowing this woman doesn't reciprocate your feelings, do you really think informing her that "all those feelings have rushed back" will endear you? It may cause her embarrassment. You will be happier if you stop dwelling on your unrequited love from the past, resolve to live in the present and, from now on, look for companionship from candidates who are emotionally available.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 49-year-old woman who has been in a romantic relationship with a good, caring man for two years. We live together, and he shows me all the time how much he loves me. We have amazing chemistry and are very affectionate. We enjoy spending time together, especially outdoors.

When we first started dating, he told me he was bisexual and had had relationships with men. He insists I am his true love and he is with only me now. He has never shown signs of straying, but sometimes I get insecure and wonder if I should take him at his word that he only wants me. Should I trust him? -- WANTS TO BE SURE IN RHODE ISLAND

DEAR WANTS: This man has been upfront with you. Because someone finds members of both genders attractive does not mean the person is incapable of monogamy. During the last two years, he has given you no reason to believe he is untrustworthy, so take steps to deal with your insecurity and take him at his word.

DEAR ABBY: My son and daughter-in-law -- the parents of three minor children -- were divorced in 2019. Prior to their divorce, the ex-DIL got pregnant by another man. She has since had a little girl. My dilemma is, do I include the new little girl when they come to visit Grandma? She is still my grandchildren's half-sister. As they get older and come to visit me, I would feel bad leaving her out of events.

My son is livid that I would even consider including her. Her other grandparents refuse to have anything to do with her. How do I deal with this? -- DILEMMA IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR DILEMMA: You have a loving heart. I assume all the children live together with their mother. To exclude their half-sister would be logistically difficult and cruel to a child who is blameless. Your son may not like the situation, but it is time for him to grow up and face reality. You are the only grandmother that child has ever known, so remain calm, assert your right to self-determination and refuse to allow yourself to be bullied or intimidated.

DEAR ABBY: Unfortunately, I am not in the same income bracket as my family and some of my friends. Also, I married a guy who doesn't like to socialize because he's a recovering alcoholic, and he also has hearing problems. Family and friends rarely ask us to join them when they go out, but they never fail to call and tell me all about the great time they had and where they plan to go next. It hurts, and I resent them for it. I want to be happy for them and not feel the way I do. Help! -- DIFFERENT IN NEW YORK

DEAR DIFFERENT: Your husband may have hearing problems, but your relatives appear to be tone deaf in the sensitivity department. What they are doing is cruel.

Rather than compare your life to that of friends and relatives who have more freedom to socialize than you and your husband do, it would be more constructive to figure out what you CAN do. Socialize either with others or by yourselves in places that don't serve alcohol and aren't overly noisy. Ask your relatives to join you there -- and put the ball in their court.