DEAR ABBY: My older sister moved in with me after she was placed on furlough because of the pandemic. I was resistant to her moving in because she likes to run the show, she has taken financial advantage of every family member, never admits she's wrong, and I was worried she'd take over. But I wanted to help her save money, so I said yes.

Now it's like I'm walking on eggshells. Every time I make a simple request, she accuses me of trying to act like her mother! After six months she asked if I'd prefer she move in with our parents, and I said yes. Now she's upset, and my parents are begging me to let her stay because they don't want to deal with her. I just want my peace back. What should I do? -- TIRED LITTLE SISTER

DEAR TIRED: I'll tell you what NOT to do. Do not relent. She asked if you'd prefer she move in with your parents, and you answered her honestly. Set a date for her to be out and stick to it. It will save your sanity.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a very hands-on person, recently retired, and I would like to do volunteer work. Sounds simple, right? Well, it seems no one needs volunteers. I have been looking for something, preferably ecological in nature, for two years. But whenever I inquire, I'm flooded with appeals for money. I was hoping you might give me some more ideas. -- BROKE BUT AVAILABLE

DEAR BROKE: You describe yourself as hands-on with an interest in things that are ecological. Because your efforts are not needed at the organizations you contacted, modify your search.

Would you be interested in helping to keep your neighborhood clean and free of trash, starting a vegetable garden to feed the needy, performing yard and gardening chores for elderly members of your community who can no longer do it themselves? How about teaching a class in ecology at a community center?

If that is not to your liking, would you deliver meals to shut-ins for a while? An animal hospital or pet rescue group may be able to use a willing hand in exercising the animals in their care. The options are there. Sample them until you find something to your liking.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 40-something woman and have been with my partner for four years. I am the mother of three boys; he's a father of two girls. We live at my house.

Whenever his youngest comes to visit (she's 16), she insists on his every second of attention. He eats it up. It's so frustrating. They both ignore the fact that I am here. It's very upsetting and, I don't think it's normal. What about you? -- MIFFED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MIFFED: Have you discussed this with your partner? I don't know how often the girl comes to visit, but clearly she is starved for her father's attention. I don't think you should begrudge it unless her visits last for an extended period. Of course, your partner and his daughter should be respectful and not treat you like an old piece of furniture or a servant, but you might be less upset if you use some of that time to pursue interests or relationships of your own.

DEAR ABBY: Two months ago, I met a lady I will call Amber. We were instantly attracted to each other. The first date went well, and we reached first base (kissing). On the second date, we reached second base (fondling). On the third date, which was also going well, after I finished paying the check for dinner, I asked her if she wanted to continue where we had left off. Amber said no. I was fine with it.

Later that night, when we spoke over the phone, I pointed out, nicely, that she did not even say thank you for dinner, and Amber got offended. I decided to end things after that phone call. I felt she was being disrespectful of my feelings by not listening to what I was saying.

Fast-forward: Her birthday is in two weeks, and I don't know if I should bury the hatchet by dropping her a Happy Birthday text that day because I really did overall like her. -- BRAND-NEW IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR BRAND-NEW: Amber may have become offended when, after she declined to proceed with further intimacy, you told her she "hadn't even" thanked you for the dinner. When I read that line, for a moment I wondered if you equated the two and had expected that after buying her dinner you were guaranteed sexual favors in return. The two of you have a significant communication deficit. Contact her again only if you are willing to acknowledge that fact and hope she is willing to work on it with you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I recently found out we're expecting our first child. We have been married for five years, and while we are still fairly young, this has been a long time in coming. For both of our families, this will be the first grandchild.

My brother is getting married next month. We live in a different state but plan to fly home for the wedding. My husband says we cannot tell our families about the pregnancy on this trip because we don't want to "overshadow the happy weekend with additional good news." This means we would need to tell them over video chat (not in person), since going home for a separate trip is not an option due to COVID.

While I see his point and certainly don't want to overshadow the wedding, I don't see why we can't tell them a few days before the wedding so that it's in person and I won't have to answer a bunch of questions from close family about why I'm not drinking at the wedding. My brother's fiancee and I do not get along, and I'm not in the wedding party (if that makes a difference). Please advise. -- ANONYMOUS MOM-TO-BE

DEAR MOM-TO-BE: I am voting with your husband. Do not upstage your brother and his bride-to-be, tempting as it may be. To do otherwise will take the spotlight off the happy couple and aim it directly at your belly. While this might seem like a welcome opportunity to stick your finger in the eye of a woman you dislike, keep in mind that in a short time she will be family and impossible to avoid. The less friction the better.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 65-year-old woman with a younger brother who is 63 and physically, mentally and emotionally disabled. He's deaf, reads at a fourth-grade level and can do math only at a second-grade level. He has paranoia, and because of that, he can't work with other people. He receives disability payments, but they are only a small amount of money.

My husband and I have had successful careers and are comfortable financially. For many years, we have helped my brother by paying some of his bills, but my retirement next year will make this harder to do. How much do I owe this sibling? If he can't afford to stay in his apartment, he would wind up living with us or homeless. -- FEARING THE FUTURE

DEAR FEARING: You are a wonderful sister. I am sorry your parents didn't provide for what might happen to their son after their deaths.

Start doing some research and explore what all of the options may be. Go online and look for "services for the disabled." Contact the department of mental health in your state and inquire about what options are available for your mentally ill sibling. Follow it up by scheduling an appointment with a social worker. You can find one by contacting your county department of mental health or a local hospital because there's usually at least one on staff. If your brother can possibly live independently without your financial support, it might be the better option for all of you.

DEAR ABBY: I am so frustrated with my husband that I'm considering divorce once the quarantine is over. We don't see things the same at all. Maybe it's because we're tired of being around each other because of the pandemic, but this has been a really tough time. Everything I say gets him upset.

Part of the problem may be his job. He is very unhappy with it, and he walks around the house upset all day, every day. I try to give him space, but if I ask him to do something, he gets upset.

I asked him a couple of times to cut the grass. He told me to ask him something once and then let it go, which I usually do, but it had grown 3 to 5 feet high. I think I'm a patient person, but he said I talk to him like a boss giving him orders. I made it clear I never demand anything from him, I always ask, but that doesn't matter to him. He doesn't like the way I ask. It seems like he gets upset whenever I'm around.

I continue taking things one day at a time, but right now I'm very unhappy in this marriage. If I could rewind the hands of time, I would have never married him. I don't know how to handle this. He doesn't want to be around me unless we are having sex. Abby? -- MISERABLE IN MARYLAND

DEAR MISERABLE: Many couples have become stressed to the max during the last year. I hope you and your husband can find a way to give each other the benefit of the doubt before deciding whether to call it quits. There will be plenty of time to consider divorce later. The two of you are overdue for a serious, civilized discussion about how to keep the level of tension down in the meantime.

That said, I do not think you should be having sex with him under these circumstances. Certainly not until he cuts the grass or finds another job he enjoys.