DEAR ABBY: I recently backed out of an adoption. I feel terrible about it. How can I mentally and emotionally get over this? My baby girl is 4 months old now, and my guilt is getting worse. I backed out three days before she was born.

The couple I had chosen turned out to be unprofessional and emotionally unstable. They not only caused me several problems but also my job, which I loved. During the four months I knew them, they treated me poorly, and I realized it was better for my little one not to go through with the adoption.

They are now trying to make me out to be a bad person who used them financially -- something I really did not. I'm glad now that I kept my daughter. So why do I keep feeling so bad about my decision? -- GUILT-RIDDEN IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR GUILT-RIDDEN: If I had to guess the reason, I would say it may be because you know your last-minute change of mind caused this couple pain. A way to assuage your guilt might be to work out a payment plan so they are not out the money they spent. (The lawyer or agency that arranged the adoption may be able to guide you.)

DEAR ABBY: I have two sisters. We were very close until our mother passed away two years ago. In her trust, the proceeds from the sale of her house were to be divided among the three of us. Only one sister has children. (They are grown.) My two sisters have decided we should split the proceeds from Mom's house (about $800,000) five ways to include the adult children. Their mother has threatened to "disown me" if I don't go along with the five-way split.

I have always done right by her "kids," and neither sister bothered to ask for my reason for not wanting to include my nephew and niece in the inheritance. I love my sisters and do not want to lose them, but I also don't want to be bullied into a decision I cannot support. -- TO DIVIDE OR NOT TO DIVIDE

DEAR TO DIVIDE: Your mother's wishes were that the money be divided three ways. Your sisters should abide by the directions of the trust. I agree you shouldn't be bullied or threatened into taking less than your mother wanted you to have. If your sisters want "the kids" to have a share of the inheritance, they should gift the amount from their portion rather than extort it from you. Their attitude has not only tarnished something that should have been a blessing, but also created a rift in the family, and that's a shame.

DEAR ABBY: I could really use your help. I don't know how to respond to people I hardly know who end conversations with "I love you." I don't feel comfortable saying that to someone and not meaning it. This isn't like saying, "Have a nice day." Is there a polite way of responding without saying something that to me is totally inappropriate to someone I only have a casual relationship with? -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: Respond this way: "What a sweet thing to say. Thank you!" Then smile and fade out.

DEAR ABBY: A lady friend of mine I've known for more than 20 years and I recently lost our spouses to COVID in the same hospital, four rooms apart from each other. During the 2 1/2 weeks that our spouses were in the hospital, we visited, prayed for and offered comfort to each other, as well as after their passing.

Throughout the years, we had always had a slight attraction to each other, and we realize that it's still there. We know each other's flaws as well as good points. Keep in mind we were very much in love with our spouses, and we're able to openly talk about them as well as grieve for them. We also find a great sense of comfort in each other's company but, over time, our physical attraction has grown.

I'm 64 and she's 57, and we're both experienced in the game of life. My question is, it's been only two months since our spouses died, so would it be wrong for us to start seeing each other on a romantic basis or is this too soon? Also, there's the question of being judged by others. -- NEW WIDOWER IN FLORIDA

DEAR NEW WIDOWER: Please allow me to offer my sympathy for your loss. You and this lady are not strangers. You are adults who have known each other for a long time. If the two of you have feelings for each other, there is nothing stopping you from exploring your relationship to see where it leads. Understand that this is a process that will take more time and should not be rushed. Please don't allow your lives or your decisions to be ruled by what "others" might think.

DEAR ABBY: A couple we occasionally double-date with likes to meet for dinner. Usually, we both throw out a few suggestions, see what sounds good and go from there. Recently, though, my friend chooses the same restaurant and then announces they want to buy us dinner. The problem is, we don't care for that restaurant as they only serve one type of food -- soup. I think it's her way of controlling the cost of the meal.

I have no problem with finding other, less expensive places to go that offer options so we can all be satisfied. When I suggest something different, she goes blank and can't think of anything, and I can tell she doesn't like my suggestions. I also do not want them to buy our dinner because, again, I know finances are tight. My husband and I order appetizers for the table and we ask for them to be placed on our bill, and that seems to be OK.

How do we continue to double-date and not have the selection process create tension that spoils our night out? -- NOT APPETIZING IN THE WEST

DEAR NOT APPETIZING: You can accomplish that by speaking up. Be honest with your friend. Tell her you don't mind having dinner at the soup place once in a while, but you would prefer to go to a place that offers more variety. And while you are at it, tell her that although they are generous in wanting to pay for your meals, you and your husband prefer to either split the check 50/50 or alternate picking up the tab.

DEAR ABBY: Our son married a psychotherapist who is very controlling. From the beginning, she did not like me, which was obvious from her words and actions. She has convinced our son that I was a bad mother, and he hasn't spoken to me in more than four years. He also shuns every other member of our family.

We are heartbroken. We were a close family until she came into the picture, but my son allowed her to ruin it. I have tried to keep in touch with him, but he never replies. I have also talked to a therapist with no success. They and her family have blocked me from contacting them. I'm unable to accept this situation because my family and I love my son so much. Please help me. -- DISTRAUGHT MOTHER IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR MOTHER: I will try, but it won't be easy. I know you are heartbroken, but you are going to have to find a way to accept and grieve the loss of your son. This may take the help of another licensed psychotherapist or your spiritual counselor to help you come to terms with a painful situation that cannot be repaired. Please accept my sympathy for your loss.

DEAR ABBY: Do you have any recommendations for how to deal with guests who show up with their pets? My husband's sister and her husband have two Belgian Malinois shepherd dogs. The last time we invited them to dinner six years ago (a two-hour drive), they brought along an aging greyhound "because he was an old dog." The dog stayed in their van (the weather was mild), and her husband took it for a walk a couple times.

Our yard is not fenced, and I do not want dogs in my house. My sister-in-law, who is oblivious to other people's wishes, "wonders" why she hasn't been invited to visit again. We would invite them to dinner again, but I don't want to deal with the dogs. Advice? -- DOGGED IN DELAWARE

DEAR DOGGED: If she raises the subject, be honest with her. Tell her the invitation is open any time they wish, providing they leave their dogs at home. If she wants to know why, that's the time to explain that you do not want animals in your house, your yard isn't fenced and you think it is cruel to leave them sitting in a car for an extended period of time, which would make their visit less enjoyable for you. It's the truth.

DEAR ABBY: My mother belongs to a book club and passes most of these hardback bestsellers on to me. Before the pandemic, I donated them to the library to be sold. However, since the pandemic, the library is no longer accepting donations, and the books are piling up. I'd like to see them go to people who are interested and will enjoy them. My dilemma is what to do now. Have you any suggestions for me on where to donate these books? -- AVID READER IN TEXAS

DEAR READER: Contact a charity thrift store and ask if they will accept the books. You could also post an ad on one of the neighborhood sites and offer them there. Also, check if your community has a "Little Free Library" -- a small, locally run book exchange that pops up on sidewalks in some neighborhoods. Or hang onto them a while longer, keeping in mind the library may start accepting them again post-pandemic.