DEAR ABBY: My wife is very protective of our dog, "Spencer." I agree with her that Spencer should not receive table food. Yesterday, my wife put a large pile of dog vomit on my desk. She said it "proves" I have been feeding Spencer. Her accusation is not true.

I may have done some peculiar things in my time, but I have never put vomit on someone's desk. How should I respond? -- FLABBERGASTED IN IOWA

DEAR FLABBERGASTED: There can be various reasons for a dog having an upset stomach besides having consumed table scraps. Spencer should be checked by a veterinarian to be sure there isn't something else going on. As to your wife putting vomit on your desk, well, since you asked -- I wouldn't blame you if you made it plain that SHE is in the doghouse.

DEAR ABBY: I have been talking to my ex-boyfriend of more than 22 years. We have a grown son. We are now in our 50s and talking and texting again. I still love him, and I want a relationship with him, but I'm not sure he wants me back. I don't know if he's interested in me or just being friendly.

Can you help? At the end of our last phone call he said, "It's been a long time. Twenty-two years. We are both different people now. I don't know if it could be like it was then," and we said goodnight.

Should I wait for him to text me back? I don't even know if he's dating someone. He didn't say. Please help. -- SECOND CHANCE IN THE EAST

DEAR SECOND CHANCE: Continue talking to your ex and let this scenario play out further. Is he initiating these calls and texts, or are you? If it's him, that's a hopeful sign. Yes, it is true you are both different people now -- but that can be a plus. With the passage of time, you both may have mellowed and matured. If the discussions continue, you will find out soon enough if he's involved with someone or interested in getting back together. And remember, if he's just being "friendly," the son you share is a good reason for keeping that friendship going.

DEAR ABBY: When someone gives a gift to someone, shouldn't it be opened in the presence of the giver? My 12-year-old daughter ran cross country, and after the season ended, there was a banquet. At the banquet, several kids approached the coach and gave him cards. We gave him a gift certificate. When my daughter gave him the envelope, he laid it down with the other cards and said, "thanks." I think he should have opened it and read the contents while my daughter was standing there (my daughter would have been so pleased). What do you think? -- LISA IN COLORADO

DEAR LISA: Once a gift is given, it belongs to the receiver to do with as he or she pleases. Your daughter's coach was under no obligation to open the envelope in your daughter's presence. If he recognized the envelope contained more than good wishes, he may have wanted to spare the other athletes embarrassment if they could not afford to be as generous as your family.

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend, "Tara," I have known for a long time. Early in our friendship when we made plans, she would bring her boyfriend along (without asking or telling me she was). When she began dating her now-husband, it continued. I did grow to like him and appreciated the chance to get to know him, but I thought it could have been handled better (a planned event where we all hung out occasionally, not her dragging him along to everything we had planned together).

She's married now, and a mother, and now every time we hang out, she brings along her rambunctious 6-year-old. Tara's mother is older and lives with her, and sometimes she comes along with them. I'm the boy's godmother (we are close, he calls me Auntie and I love him dearly) but that doesn't mean I don't want some alone friend time with Tara.

The child is not well-behaved, so taking him out in public isn't always pleasant or easy. I am a planner. I dislike getting railroaded with babysitting when I'm anticipating a fun girls' day out. Tara usually waits until right before we're getting together to say he's coming, changes our plans or waits until she's on the way and says, "I hope it's OK 'Bobby' is coming with me." I find it rude and disrespectful of me and our time together.

I hate to lose a longtime friend, but I never know what I'm getting with her and am now hesitant to make plans with her. What would you do in this situation? -- SIMMERING IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR SIMMERING: I would tell my friend that once in a while I don't mind an occasional change of plans, but when I have "a fun girls' day out" planned with her, I don't appreciate what she has been doing. Your feelings are valid.

DEAR ABBY: I have been invited to a wedding. I'm close with the bride and want to attend. However, more than 400 people have been invited, and I'm not comfortable attending an event this large where social distancing will be impossible. While I can try to keep my distance and, of course, wear a mask, the seating cannot be arranged so guests can socially distance.

I'm torn between protecting the health of others and myself, and preserving my friendship because she's a bride in love and I'm worried about hurting her feelings. In our state, gatherings of 100 people are allowed if they are outside and people wear masks and socially distance. She thinks the coronavirus is a hoax and God will have it go away completely by her wedding. I need to RSVP. Please help. -- UNEASY IN OREGON

DEAR UNEASY: Tell your friend that you are sorry you will miss her wedding, but that you are not comfortable traveling at this time or being in large groups while the COVID-19 virus is still an issue and the omicron variant is more contagious than delta.

The COVID virus is not a "hoax," and none of us has such a close relationship with the Almighty that He (or She) will make it disappear so a bride can have a large wedding. The bride-to-be is entitled to her opinion, and you are equally entitled to yours, so send your regrets and the reason for them, and do not allow yourself to be sucked into a debate about it.

P.S. A nice wedding gift might "soften" the blow of your absence.

DEAR ABBY: A friend of 40 years got mad at me after the last presidential election. I told her I didn't want to talk politics, since we voted for different candidates. She then emailed me saying she thought we should take a break from our long-distance phone calls. We had been calling each other every two weeks to catch up.

Because it has now been more than a year, I emailed her, texted her and finally left a message on her answering machine asking if she was still mad. (I did this over a period of a week.) Then I got worried, since she's in her 80s. I finally called her daughter and was told she was in the hospital recovering from heart surgery. When her daughter told her I was trying to get in touch, I received a text that read, "Not mad. Just don't want to talk."

I hate to give up on a long friendship. Her birthday is coming up. Should I send her a birthday card, or respect her wishes and give up? -- OLD FRIEND IN FLORIDA

DEAR OLD FRIEND: Please don't jump to conclusions. People in the early stages of recovery from major surgery may not feel up to long discussions until they are stronger. By all means, send your friend a birthday card and include in it that you treasure your friendship and wish her a speedy and complication-free recovery. After that, the ball is in her court.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to a lovely woman for 40 years. I recently found out that five years into our marriage she had an affair with a friend of ours. It lasted several weeks, during which they would meet at our house over the lunch hour.

My wife does not know this friend, having recently found religion, has confessed to me. I had suspected it for a few years. Should I tell her I know or just go on as though nothing happened? -- IN THE KNOW IN ILLINOIS

DEAR IN THE KNOW: I cannot guess what justification this "friend" has given for trying to clear his conscience by telling you something that could destroy your marriage. The punishment for his guilt should have been the burden of carrying it to his grave without sharing it with you. If his confession will erode your relationship with your wife, tell her what you were told so you can talk it through.

DEAR ABBY: My neighbor's husband died of COVID-related problems. I was never officially informed. About a week later, his clothing, favorite chair and other items were put on the curb in a free pile. While the pile is now gone, my concern is for the people who took the items. I will let you inform the world what might be the better solution. -- PANICKED IN OREGON

DEAR PANICKED: I am glad to do that. The information is available to anyone who is interested. Folks, it's as near as your computer. Fire it up and go to cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/faq.html, where you will find a "Frequently Asked Questions" section with information about how the virus is spread and how to avoid contracting it. From what I have read, germs on surfaces are less likely to spread the virus than person-to-person contact.