DEAR ABBY: In response to "Ageless Lady in Washington" (Oct. 8), who sought a retort to people who ask her age, I had an aunt who refused to divulge her age. She would say to anyone inquiring, "I'll excuse you for asking, if you'll excuse me for not answering." -- JANE M. IN FLORIDA

DEAR JANE: That was a classic Dear Abby retort from many years ago, and one I have also recommended. Readers had fun suggesting answers to the delicate question "How old are you?" Read on:

DEAR ABBY: My grandmother lived to 103. She always answered, "I'm old enough to have a past and young enough to have a future." She was still saying this past her 100th birthday. -- MRS. F. IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ABBY: "Ageless Lady's" letter reminded me of the response my great aunt would use when asked her age. She would say, "Can you keep a secret?" When the person would reply with "Yes, I can," she would then say, "So can I!" That was usually the end of the conversation. -- RITA W. IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR ABBY: Something I heard in a TV commercial would be a perfect response to what "Ageless" considers a rude question: "Age is just a number. Mine is unlisted." -- CAROLE R. IN ARIZONA

DEAR ABBY: As a child I heard -- and still remember -- my mom's answer to that question. I enjoy sharing it when the opportunity arises: "I'm the same age as my tongue, and a little older than my teeth." I enjoy the look of puzzlement it creates. -- DIANNE H. IN THE SOUTH

DEAR ABBY: I think it's time we stopped behaving as if getting to be a certain age, particularly as women, is something to hide. I hope we will quit giving kids the message that older women are "less than." I know the beauty industry would like to perpetuate that myth for economic benefit, but we don't have to aid and abet them. -- LISA A. IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR ABBY: When I'm asked how old I am, I answer, "When I was born, the rainbow was black and white." -- NOT YOUR BUSINESS IN KANSAS

DEAR ABBY: I once received a birthday card that dealt with the issue perfectly. It had a picture of a falcon on it and it read, "If someone asks your age, tell them what Farquart the Talking Falcon says: None of your falcon business!" -- DAVID S. IN GEORGIA

DEAR ABBY: I am a 59-year-old man. My 50-year-old fiancee lives in a nice home, but after a 15-year loving relationship, she decided last week to be with someone else. She had recently lost a great deal of weight, bought a new car and started to do things I felt were not age-appropriate -- although I never said anything adverse about them.

She's now staying in a weekly rental motel room with him. It leads me to believe they both left relationships and had nowhere else to go. She didn't give me a chance to fight for us (counseling, etc.) or even a heads-up that she was unhappy. One afternoon when I got home from work, I found a note from her saying she was sorry for not being able to tell me in person, but she was doing this for herself.

I have always been an honorable person in any relationship I have had. This is hard for me to understand and move on from. I have never been this hurt and emotionally drained. She will not communicate with me verbally, only through emails and texts. I feel desperate and lost. Please give me any encouragement that there is light somewhere at the end of the tunnel. -- EMOTIONALLY DRAINED IN MAINE

DEAR EMOTIONALLY DRAINED: Although your lady friend didn't give you the chance to fight for her by getting counseling, my first bit of advice is to make an appointment with a therapist and start fighting for yourself. You may not have known your fiancee as well as you thought you did. Once you regain some perspective, you may realize that something changed when she made the effort to start losing weight. (I'm guessing this was around the time she met the man she's now living with.)

Please understand that the woman you invested so much time in was dishonest, cowardly and selfish to have treated you the way she did. I wish you had mentioned why the two of you hadn't married in the 15 years you were together. But, my friend, you dodged a bullet. A licensed psychotherapist will help you to realize how lucky you are.

DEAR ABBY: My brother-in-law recently moved near us. He never misses a chance to one-up others or brag about everything he has. Others have noticed this as well. We are all retired and living fairly well. However, comparisons are made, innuendos are tossed around and he has even referenced our children "needing" their inheritance, while his kids don't "since they have great jobs."

I'm close to my sister and happy to have her near me, but I'm not sure how to handle the situation with her spouse. I try to minimize my time with him and ignore him when he speaks, however difficult it may be. My husband no longer wants anything to do with him, and I can't say I blame him. But I don't want to cause a rift between my sister and me. Advice? -- DEALING WITH A NARCISSIST

DEAR DEALING: There are two ways to handle this. The first would be to recognize that people who feel the need to do what your brother-in-law has been doing usually do it out of insecurity. The second would be to tell your sister how her husband's remarks affect you and your husband -- and that if he doesn't knock it off, they'll be seeing a lot less of you. Then let her handle it.

DEAR ABBY: The last two years have been especially tough. I went through a breakup after a four-year relationship, my dog developed cancer and I had to put her to sleep, and I caught COVID and have been dealing with long-haul symptoms ever since. My energy is low because of it, plus I've been depressed with all the events that have happened.

I have two best friends I've known since I was 16. I'm 34 now. I thought they would be there for me through anything. We were close until recently. They no longer invite me to get-togethers, and they hang out and exclude me. I try to stay in contact, but when I talk with them, it doesn't progress from small talk. The few times I have seen them, I stayed positive and didn't discuss my problems.

They have children, and I'm single and childless, which may have caused the divide between us. Being excluded hurts. When I mention it, they say, "You don't have kids. I didn't think you'd want to come." It feels like a slap in the face. I need my friends more than ever right now because I feel very alone through one of the toughest times of my life. How do I mend these friendships? Am I unreasonable for being upset? -- DISAPPOINTED FRIEND IN VIRGINIA

DEAR FRIEND: Discuss your feelings with your friends. They may not be trying to isolate you intentionally. You are in very different phases of your lives right now. They may sincerely believe that being invited to kid parties would bore you, as would their constant chatter about what their precious little ones are doing, saying, etc. (This may seem like blasphemy, but more than a few childless adults feel that way.)

If you explain that you need their emotional support after everything you have been through, they may step forward. Recognize that your friends with kids are a "package deal." If you bond with their kids, it might bring you all closer. However, if that doesn't happen, you will have to summon the energy to find new friends whose lives better align with yours.

DEAR ABBY: I bought my roommate the most beautiful pair of earrings for her birthday. It has been more than a month, and she still hasn't worn them, not even when I once suggested it, although she has frequently worn a second pair of earrings I previously bought her.

I don't have pierced ears, but the earrings in question could be made into an adorable necklace. I think if she doesn't want them, it would be nice for me to get them back since they were expensive and I like them so much myself. How can I politely ask if she plans on ever wearing them, and if not, if I can have them back? Or would it work better if I suggest that we can each get one earring made into a necklace so that we can match? -- BEJEWELED IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR BEJEWELED: Ask your roommate to tell you honestly if she likes the earrings you gave her. Tell her that if she doesn't, you DO like them -- very much -- and would be glad to gift her something else of her choosing. Then suggest that she might return the earrings to you so you can use them to make matching necklaces. I don't think it would be rude, and neither should she.