DEAR ABBY: I have been on phone calls recently with a married friend when the spouse will suddenly chime in, without my knowing they were listening. There are times when I want a conversation to be private with only one person. What's the polite way to make this happen in a world of speakerphones? -- CONFIDENTIAL IN INDIANA

DEAR CONFIDENTIAL: The way to handle it is to tell the married person you would like to know if someone is within earshot because you want your conversation to be private. And if it happens again, convey sensitive information to that person only face-to-face.

DEAR ABBY: During a trip to Las Vegas, I kind of had a one-night stand. I'm in a relationship. I felt bad afterward. Problem is, I started having feelings for this guy, "Leo." We would message back and forth, more on my end than his. I guess you could say I was hung up on him. I have since mended my relationship with my partner.

My issue is, Leo is best friends with my best friend's husband. When he visits, I am excluded, which means I can't hang out with her. I tell her we are all adults, we are not in high school and can be in the same room with each other. It's not fair to me. Are my feelings justified? Any advice? -- FEELING SHUNNED ON THE WEST COAST

DEAR FEELING: This isn't all about your feelings. You stated that you feel you can be in the same room with your best friend, her husband and Leo socially. Hasn't it occurred to you that Leo may not be as open-minded about that fling as you are? Seeing you may make him feel guilty. This may be a case of "what happens in Vegas" not only not staying in Vegas, but also having repercussions. See your best friend when Leo isn't around.

DEAR ABBY: Last year, my dear hubby went to the doctor for back pain. Within a week he had been diagnosed with incurable cancer. He's in treatment, and we hope he will have a long remission, but it has been a very stressful year filled with health issues.

I am now due for my annual checkup, and I'm extremely anxious about it. I'm no spring chicken. I have some issues (high blood pressure, overweight), and I'm terrified she will tell me something awful is wrong. I have been crying for a week now, and I'm almost to the point of canceling my appointment. How do I overcome this extreme anxiety? -- FEARING THE WORST IN OHIO

DEAR FEARING: You may be having extreme anxiety because with a sick husband, you are living with extreme pressure. Pick up that phone, tell your physician exactly what's going on and ask her to prescribe something to calm your nerves before the appointment. Under no circumstances should you cancel it because you are afraid of what you might hear! If anything is wrong, it's important to nip it in the bud before it progresses.

DEAR ABBY: About 10 years ago, my longtime best friend, "Byron," abruptly cut me out of his life. I never clearly understood why. I reached out to him on and off for several years without success. Then I ran into him, traded pleasantries and we followed up. He returned my email, we began communicating again about things that mattered, and it appeared our friendship was on the mend.

A short time later, my wife (only an acquaintance of his) divorced me and began a massive social media attack against me. Most of my friends saw through her lies. I took the high road and never said anything about her lunacy. Then she ramped it up by going after some of the people she knew were important in my life, including Byron. Soon after, I heard she had her hooks in him and he stopped communicating with me. My ex-wife has since passed away.

I have dreams that Byron and I are friends again, doing the things we used to do, and I would like to try "Rebuild No. 2" but don't know where to start. He never got the full story, only the part that made me look bad. Do I mention my ex-wife's lies, or do I just try and start over again? And if so, how? -- UNFRIENDED AGAIN IN MICHIGAN

DEAR UNFRIENDED: True friends do not treat each other the way that Byron has treated you. They discuss their differences instead of cutting each other off. Your "friend" could have come to you after he was contacted by your ex-wife. He could also have asked some of your mutual friends if what she was spreading was true. Byron did neither. Go on with your life and don't look back, or you will receive more of the same from this person.

DEAR ABBY: I'm very depressed and upset with myself. I cheated on my husband, "Hal," and told him after I realized I had gotten an STI from the man I cheated with. Hal was very upset, and we didn't talk for a day and a half, but he didn't yell or call me names. I feel so guilty and confused. He's being really nice, not cussing at me. It's strange.

Things are different between us now, and it's my fault. It will take time and patience, I guess. But I miss the intimacy and affection Hal and I once shared. Is it normal for me to want him to yell at me and show his anger? When I try to talk about him getting tested for STIs, he gets quiet and brings up the past. Please help me. I just want things back the way they were before I cheated. What do I do? -- RELUCTANT CHEATER IN OREGON

DEAR RELUCTANT CHEATER: Hal needs to talk to his doctor and schedule an appointment to be tested, and you must be willing to talk to him about "the past" and why you cheated on him. You owe your husband an explanation. That he hasn't yelled or called you names doesn't mean he isn't hurt and furious about what happened. It may take counseling with a licensed marriage and family therapist for your marriage to be repaired. If you do this, although your relationship may never go back to the way it was before you cheated, it may be better.

DEAR ABBY: My husband of 37 years passed away four months ago. When we were first married, we were happy, but his drinking increased and he turned into a miserable, mean drunk. When I decided I'd finally had enough, he got sick and could no longer work, and I felt obligated to take care of him. More than a decade of my life was spent looking after him, for which he rarely, if ever, expressed appreciation.

One month after his funeral, I was contacted out of the blue by my high school sweetheart. I was reluctant to respond at first, but I decided it couldn't hurt to meet him and enjoy dinner and conversation. The attraction was immediate. It felt like we were back in high school. It has been three months now, and we are ready to take our relationship to the next level. He makes me feel better than I have ever felt in my life. My children know how miserable I was for decades in my marriage, but I'm still concerned about how they'll feel about me seriously dating so soon after becoming a widow. -- LONGING FOR LOVE IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR LONGING: If you explain to your adult children that you and your friend from long ago have reconnected, they shouldn't react badly to the news. However, a word of caution: This is still a budding relationship. If by "taking the relationship to the next level" you mean becoming intimate, you are an adult long past the age of consent. However, if it means dashing off to marry this person, take more time before making a formal commitment. Doing that will enable you to observe how he reacts in a variety of situations -- including whether you agree about issues you feel are important, as well as how he reacts when he's frustrated or angry.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 55-year-old woman who had a few good jobs earlier in my career, which enabled me to buy a lovely townhouse in New England. I now work as a consultant, and I no longer earn the same kind of money I did back then. My problem: About 20 years ago, my parents borrowed money from me to fix their home so they could sell it. After it sold, not only did they not pay me back, but they moved in with me. It was supposed to be temporary, but they have been staying here rent-free for the last five years. In addition to my frustration with my parents, my sister (who is in her 40s) was living down south with her boyfriend when their relationship imploded. So she moved back to New England and moved in with us. She is not paying rent either and brought her two dogs with her. I am at my wits' end. Please give me some advice. -- GOING BONKERS IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR GOING BONKERS: You have been patient and tolerant for far too long. You have been a pushover. Contact an attorney for help, because you may have to evict these relatives. Grow a backbone and TELL your parents you want them not only to move but to take your sister and her dogs with them. I sincerely hope you have something in writing memorializing the loan you gave your folks because, if you don’t, you probably will not see that money again. (Sorry.)