DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I’m not making excuses for him, but my husband grew up in a home where he didn’t have to do anything around the house. Either his mother or his grandmother did all the cooking, cleaning, and even minor repairs. He was never asked or expected to do anything, not even take out the trash.

Since before we started living together, I have done almost ALL the housework, from making the bed every morning to taking out the trash and paying the bills.

He tells me he wants to pitch in more, but whenever I suggest he do a certain chore, he tells me he’s on it and then never gets to it and I end up doing it, which I don’t think is very fair, do you?

My husband is not a lazy person outside the home, just in it. How do I undo what his mother and grandmother did to him? --- COULD USE SOME HELP

DEAR COULD USE SOME HELP: You’re letting your husband off the hook whenever you pick up his slack.

I understand how frustrating it can be to have to repeatedly ask someone to do something, but it’s time for you to stop buckling and leave what you’ve asked him to do undone until he does it. Obviously I’m not talking about missing bill payments, but the domestic chores you’ve asked him to do become his sole responsibility the moment he agrees to do them.

What could help a bit is if you make a list of all the jobs that need to get done and then specifically divvy them up between the two of you.

If he himself picks the ones he’s expected to do, he might just have less wiggle room for weaseling out on getting his tasks done.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My Grandad worked construction for over 40 years. His hearing is for sh#t and he knows it.

My Grandma took him for hearing aids, which aren’t cheap. At first he refused to wear them. Then to shut my grandmother up he started putting them in, but not turning them on. Like we don’t know when he’s playing us!

When he doesn’t use them, especially when he’s around a crowd, you can tell he’s still lost and not able to keep up with what’s being said.

Why doesn’t he get it that they’re for his own good and use them to be more connected to what’s happening around him? --- THEY’RE SWITCHED OFF

DEAR THEY’RE SWITCHED OFF: Your grandfather isn’t the first person to have trouble adjusting to hearing aids. Until the wearer gets used to them, they potentially feel more challenging than the hearing loss they’re meant to correct.

I suggest gently encouraging your grandfather to give his devices a try in less noisy, uncrowded situations such as a park or while watching TV.

Not being bombarded by a lot of sounds would allow him to try out any available adjustments the hearing aids come with. Feeling like he's in control could be key to his being more willing to keep them turned on.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Believe it or not, my son’s girlfriend was raised on an honest to God commune in Virginia. She and my son met in college and she decided to move in with him and start a family less than a year after they graduated.

She doesn’t believe in marriage, so they are not married, but they have a four-year-old daughter and a six-year-old son. My son has never been into appearances, so he sees nothing wrong with his son showing up to school in clothes that don’t fit him, shoes that are obviously on their second or third owner, and a backpack with Bratz dolls on it. His girlfriend will only shop in thrift stores or exchange clothing with those still living in her old commune.

My grandson’s hair has never been cut and he only bathes when he wants to, which isn’t often, I can tell you.

I fear my grandson is going to be picked on at school for being an oddball, which in all honesty, I have to say maybe he is.

Is it worth saying anything to my son about how much embarrassment my grandson is in for? --- LITTLE HIPPY’S GRANDMA

DEAR LITTLE HIPPY’S GRANDMA: While some kids your grandson’s age can and will be cruel, what I’ve observed is that for the most part young children are remarkably accepting of others regardless of how they look. They’ll also tolerate a wide range of behaviors so long as they don’t feel threatened by it.

Additionally, school staff will likely be keeping an eye out for any behavior targeting your grandson or any other child and deal with it directly.

You could have a conversation with your son about your concerns, but ultimately, it’s up to him and his girlfriend to make the day-to-day decisions about your grandchildren’s upbringing.

So long as they are safe, well-cared for, and loved, their parents are doing their job, even if not precisely the same way you’d do it.