DEAR ABBY: I just found out my husband and our female friend of 18 months have been texting each other. Allegedly, according to my husband, it's about politics. My husband and I don't share the same political views. He says he has nobody to talk to about politics. I don't understand why he doesn't talk about politics with his male friends.

I find it suspicious that neither my husband nor this "friend" ever mentioned they were communicating with each other. I think he is going outside our marriage seeking validation from another woman. When I said it, he called me crazy, immature and insanely jealous. I'm not.

I think he's endangering our marriage because things can start innocently, and he's seeking something I can't give him. He knew my political affiliation before we married. Our marriage barely survived the last presidential election. Now this. Can I have some advice, please? -- UNEASY IN FLORIDA

DEAR UNEASY: You're not crazy, immature or jealous. You are a wife who is worried that her marriage is in jeopardy. If the three of you socialize together and the subject of politics comes up, engage with them diplomatically without allowing the conversation to degenerate into an argument. And suggest to your husband privately that since the texts are "only political" in nature, you would like to be able to look at them occasionally.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-husband and I separated two months after our wedding. Our divorce was final five months ago. After I left him, I started talking to a younger guy I had a lot in common with. However, he has a gambling problem and ended up stealing money from my cash app.

He eventually paid me back and has done everything in his power to get me to trust him again. We are both very attracted to each other. After he repaid the money, he told me he was in a very dark place and felt horrible about doing it.

He says he loves me, and even though I tried fighting it, I love him too. But there are issues -- the trust, the gambling and the age gap. I'm 15 years older. He's still very young, and I know when I was his age, I wanted different things than I want now. I'm worried he'll lose interest in me because we are at different points in our lives.

We aren't exactly labeled a couple but we act like we are. No one but very close friends of mine knows about our situation. Should I cut ties before my heart gets broken? -- TENTATIVE IN WISCONSIN

DEAR TENTATIVE: The age difference may not be a deal-breaker, but the fact that he stole from you should be. How is he dealing with his gambling addiction? Is he still gambling? Has he joined a support group such as Gamblers Anonymous to help him cope with it? Because you divorced after only two months of marriage -- and now this -- there may be something wrong with your "manpicker." Before you make any more big decisions about men, I suggest that you talk to a psychologist about why you seem to be rushing in and out of relationships.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a medical student. I don't have kids or a family of my own yet, but I'd like it to happen one day. When I have kids of my own, I intend to push them to be the very best in whatever they want to do. I will ingrain in them "tough love" and demand excellence from them.

My classmates, friends and I grew up similarly. We did well enough in high school to get into a good college and have successful lives after that. My friends and I did all the same things in college we did in high school. We joined clubs, volunteered, took leadership roles, earned good grades and got good recommendation letters in order to outcompete our peers and get where we wanted to go.

When I have kids, I want them to emulate what I did, achieve the same way academically and succeed. Am I wrong? I know it will be challenging to raise kids to outcompete their peers for things they want to do or are passionate about. I know I won't have complete control over them because they are human beings and not robots. Maybe I won't have kids at all. I'm not sure yet. Any thoughts? -- EYE ON FUTURE IN THE SOUTH

DEAR EYE: There may be some variables you aren't taking into consideration. If and when you finally meet someone and embark upon starting a family, you will find it to be a joint effort. You cannot dictate someone else's parenting style.

Also, children do not all learn in the same way. Some thrive by being pushed by a demanding parent. Others rebel or wilt. It's fine to use your own upbringing as a model, but allow some flexibility because, as you stated, children are not robots. Remember that.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of two years and I just bought our first house. It is truly magical -- everything we've ever wanted. We plan to live together for another two years before getting engaged or married.

My parents and his parents have met only once. We'll be having our housewarming party soon and I am SO nervous! His family has a drama problem and so does mine. His sisters and father don't get along with his mother due to problems that happened years ago. There are a few sticky situations on my side as well.

I want my boyfriend to be able to invite his mother, but if we do, half of his family won't show up. And I'm super nervous about the rest of his family meeting mine. Our family members hold grudges. What should we do? -- NERVOUS IN INDIANA

DEAR NERVOUS: You are not responsible for the behavior of your extended family members. Accept that you can't please everyone in a family that clings to grudges. Invite whom you wish to your housewarming. If some folks choose to leave or skip the event, that's their choice and their loss. In your home, you should entertain whomever you want.

DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "Living a Soap Opera" (Jan. 3), the unhappy woman who is married to an alcoholic. She is flattered by the three younger men she's conversing with online. My experience is that when men say they are in a place where you can't meet them, such as stationed far away in the army or on a ship, and they immediately fall in love with you, it's most likely a scam.

I'm not saying this to hurt her feelings or deflate her ego, but for the purpose of safety. If they start asking for money, beware! Vulnerable people easily get scammed in this way. Sadly, I know this from experience, so I just wanted to give a heads-up. -- THANKFUL I CAUGHT ON

DEAR THANKFUL: Many readers saw red flags in "Living's" letter, with some pointing out that the "in the military" scenario is a common one. "Living" should do as much research as she can on "catfishing" and these kinds of scams, and never send money for any reason. Readers also recommended she attend Al-Anon meetings if she hasn't been, and look for activity groups locally to add some positivity to her life.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my husband for 10 years. Last year, his brother's baby mama died, and we are stuck raising his brother's 11-year-old son. I told my husband I don't want to do this, but he refuses to listen. My youngest child is 28 years old. I think he is choosing this over our marriage. Advice? -- POST-PARENT IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR POST-PARENT: This should not have been a unilateral decision. Why isn't the boy's father prepared to raise his son? Are there other relatives, such as your in-laws, who could step in? If your husband is dead set on going forward over your objection, make clear in advance that because you have raised your children, HE will be doing the heavy lifting -- cooking, laundry, homework supervision, school conferences, etc., for his nephew -- and not you. That poor boy deserves to be raised in a loving and welcoming home, so please make an effort to be kind to him.

DEAR ABBY: Years ago, my father gave my mother a mink coat and a gold and diamond necklace. Shortly afterward, he left her for another woman. Mom gave me the coat and the necklace because she wouldn't wear them. She passed away several years ago, and now, due to health expenses, I need whatever money the necklace may bring. Am I wrong to sell it? My daughter doesn't want me to, but I don't think she knows the whole story. -- LETTING GO IN VIRGINIA

DEAR LETTING GO: Because you need the money the necklace would bring, by all means sell it. And when you do, explain to your daughter that while she may consider the necklace to be a treasured heirloom from her grandmother, it's really a reminder of a painful betrayal, and necessity dictates that you unload it now.